Question for Married Men or Men in a Relationship

**egaian** · 10-14-2006, 11:16 AM

OK I have a question for you all- mainly you married men...

I see alot married women who don't work claiming they "bought" this or that for their husband and want all these kudos for looking so great and being such a great wife for doing that...

But, if she didn't earn the money and just went and spent the money he earned to buy something for him- how is she buying it for him? It doesnt make sense to me at all and personally seems utterly insane when these women want credit for doing something so nice...

What do you think? does that count? is that the same as when a girl who has her own money and or works uses her money to get something for her man? Do these women deserve credit for sitting on their asses and spending his money? Or are they just looking for attention?

just wanted some ideas and thoughts on this....

**Bigrus** · 10-14-2006, 11:55 AM

If she works for the money then she deserves credit. If she is a stay-at-home mom then buying expensive gifts for your husband or the house only puts more work for him on the table. I think just staying within what he gives her for spending money would be a better present.

What i like is when they refer to every hobby their husband has and the toys that go with it as "thiers" when he was interested in it before her, knows what he is doing, does all the work.

**94z28l** · 10-14-2006, 12:28 PM

no it doesnt count, no its not the same as if she had a job and no she shouldnt get credit, a nice gift if she doesnt work would be to have dinner and shit ready when he gets home from work

**Mr. Luos** · 10-14-2006, 12:34 PM

I would love to have my girl stay at home with the baby once it is born.
But we can't afford that. Period.
We both work, and even if she could stay home once the child is old enough to go to school I would kinda expect her to find some work.

I wouldn't want her buying me things with my money though. I mean, she is still buying it I guess and whatever it may it is from her imagination at least. The thought that counts type of thing.

**Nastyfoot** · 10-14-2006, 12:48 PM

If she's cleaning your buckshot off the back of the toilet seat after you leave for work in the morning, to me that's a full time job itself.

**mysticZ** · 10-14-2006, 12:50 PM

If my wife was a stay at home mom (which she is not a mom or a stay at home) then I would say to a point she should have the credit. A stay at home mom is like haveing two full time jobs. With kids you can't just throw them outside in the morning and let them in at night.

**tnthub** · 10-14-2006, 01:57 PM

I'm happily married. It doesn't matter where the money comes from. I do some consulting, IT stuff, a bit of marketing here and there... My wife works a 50 hour per weeks sales job at a Toyota dealership.

We make about the same amount of money through our work, depending on the month and year. I also have several investments (long term) for retirement and emergency purposes.

We don't make a whole lot on a weekly basis but this month I have earned in one week what she makes in a month...

It is all about the time spent. I bill at a very high rate but work is inconsistent. She works a lot of hours and as finicky as sales can be, Toyota has been generally doing quite well and she is the number seven salesperson out of all her companies dealerships (13 dealerships total) so she does ok.

It matters not where the money comes from. If she takes the time to buy something for me it represents to me that I was thought about by her. It doesn't matter where the money comes from as the sincerity makes whatever the gift is worth every cent.

**GOT1GOAT** · 10-14-2006, 02:12 PM

My wife works part time and our kids are grown and gone but the house is always tip top shape and my clothes are always clean and she caters to my every need. she buys me essentials but thats all. She also lets me buy whatever the hell I want-- with my money Ha-Ha.

**Bigrus** · 10-14-2006, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by mysticZ

If my wife was a stay at home mom (which she is not a mom or a stay at home) then I would say to a point she should have the credit. A stay at home mom is like haveing two full time jobs. With kids you can't just throw them outside in the morning and let them in at night.

who sold you that B.S? children can be put on a schedule and once you have your day down it is easy you have a good 5 years until they go to school. My mother raised four kids and said it was way easier than working because she had a set schedule for us.

**egaian** · 10-14-2006, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If she works for the money then she deserves credit. If she is a stay-at-home mom then buying expensive gifts for your husband or the house only puts more work for him on the table. I think just staying within what he gives her for spending money would be a better present.

What i like is when they refer to every hobby their husband has and the toys that go with it as "thiers" when he was interested in it before her, knows what he is doing, does all the work.

OMG Rus, too bad i didn't post this yesterday on friday the 13th cause you and I totally agree for the first time! lol

I will be the first to admit that the car stuff is Rob's hobby and everything to do with that car is his, not mine...I have, however, gotten to appreciate and enjoy the car stuff since being with him and like being involved etc...but I agree with what you are saying and I agree

**rbob93** · 10-14-2006, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

who sold you that B.S? children can be put on a schedule and once you have your day down it is easy you have a good 5 years until they go to school. My mother raised four kids and said it was way easier than working because she had a set schedule for us.

Well it definately sounds like good old mom sold YOU on some BS!
HOLY SHIT!

**sgt0704** · 10-14-2006, 05:20 PM

if the "stay at home mom" is doing the "bitch" work, then cool. cause staying at home with the two kids all day, cleaning, laundry , bla bla bla, is a pain in the ass. besides, think about if you were to pay a maid or for childcare. it racks up fast. for instance i pay about 175 a week for my two kids to go to daycare/afterschool program. on a good week she will make 225-250. on an average week she makes about 175-200, so usually, we break even just with her working.

to get to the point, IF she's doing the house work etc... then sure, it's cool. cause she'll probably put it on her credit card anyway. then guess who's paying it. the husband. But, he's not' doing the house work. Now if she's not doing the housework, she better be sucking a good dick that's for damn sure.

**gonzo99ta** · 10-14-2006, 05:32 PM

Dating is a completely differant situation than marriage. If i was datingh someone (especially that's not living with me) and she buys me something with my money = 0 credit.

marriage however, the two of you are together forever. You know what's yours is hers and what's hers is yours. So it really makes no differance where the money came from. We both deposit our checks in the same account so who knows who paid for what. It is the thought that counts. Even if one works and the other does not, that's what you agreed on so it's still all shared.

**mysticZ** · 10-14-2006, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by rbob93

Well it definately sounds like good old mom sold YOU on some BS!
HOLY SHIT!

X's 2

**SliverSS** · 10-14-2006, 06:22 PM

when you're married, i don't think it matters.

whether you both work or just one of you, it's both your money...so you could make a case that anything she buys you was with "your" money.

**SMOKKINU** · 10-14-2006, 10:47 PM

the majority thought process in here is the reason we have such a high divorce rate. Money seems to be more important then the true things in life....

My opinion, if my wife bought me something with my money, and did it knowing it would not effect our bills and what we need to live off of comfortabley <--- KEYWORD

then she deserves 100% credit. regardless of wether she works, is stay at home, or not....shes my wife, and the thought means more to me then the money spent.... money comes and goes, thoughtfulness and memories last a lifetime....unless you have alzheimers of course.

**0rion** · 10-14-2006, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

who sold you that B.S? children can be put on a schedule and once you have your day down it is easy you have a good 5 years until they go to school. My mother raised four kids and said it was way easier than working because she had a set schedule for us.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you don't have any kids.

Your mom must've been one organized lady because I can tell you that even with a set schedule my 3 year old and 4 month old kids are a full time job. The 4 month old is totally high maintenance right now because she can do absolutely nothing on her own. The boy is 3 and is pretty independent so he can take care of most things himself but he still requires a bunch of attention. Now juggle those 2 plus everything that needs to be done around the house and you've gotta bust your ass to get things done.
To the original poster I offer this advice. Marry a woman that makes an ass load of money, that's what I did.

**apache** · 10-15-2006, 12:08 AM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If she works for the money then she deserves credit. If she is a stay-at-home mom then buying expensive gifts for your husband or the house only puts more work for him on the table. I think just staying within what he gives her for spending money would be a better present.

What i like is when they refer to every hobby their husband has and the toys that go with it as "thiers" when he was interested in it before her, knows what he is doing, does all the work.

Jeez Columbo, now you're an expert on marital affairs?! j/k

I actually agree with you for a change!

**opie** · 10-15-2006, 06:18 AM

Well, my wife works now that the kids are old enough to take care of themselves. We could afford her not to work for 15 yrs to get the kids old enough and then she wanted to go back to work. We have been together since we were 19 yrs old and didn't have a pot to piss in. We are not rich, but comfortable. One in college and one still in high school. When I was the only one bringing in cash she still gave me presents, just not expensive ones, but things she made for me. It took her 3 yrs to make me a handmade quilt. Now she made this and gave it to me, but we both use in on our bed.

After she went to work I decided to retire full time and just screw around making money on investments and contract work. The wife is still working full time and will until the last one gets into college and then we are just going to play until the end.

Oh, by the way when I retired she ordered me a fully loaded Firehawk for my retirement present. She makes the payments and only has 3 more and it is paid off.

But to be honest we are a team. There is none of this "this stuff is mine & this stuff is hers". Hell when one of us dies the other gets it all anyway.

Kinda long, hope I answered your question...

**toneloc60** · 10-15-2006, 07:54 AM

well, my wife works so that kind of slants my perspective. However, if she wasn't working I don't know that it would change all that much seeing as I have her control every dime of our incomes because she is much better with money than I am. So, regardless of her having a job or not, any money that is spent on me has passed through her hands anyway and I have no way of knowing whose money it was anyway. Though that would be easily decided if she wasn't working, you also have to figure in the fact that she has decided to forego something she would have wanted to buy you something you wanted.

This is really a glass half full half empty topic. It's all in how you want to look at it. A word to the wise fellas, if she bought something for you just thank her and smile no matter whose money was used to get it.