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  1. #1
    Impounded 86 IROC-Z's Avatar
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    Arrow Post situations that caught you entirely off guard

    Do it.

    I'll go first. So a couple months back it's a weekend night and I have nothing in particular planned, one of my buds call me up and says "Yo dawg this chick is having a birthday party, we should totally go" so I'm like aight, and I'm excited because it was the summer and I hadn't managed to do much fun stuff in that non-college-town. So we get on our way, eventually get to the chicks house.

    We go inside and.... we were at the party. Oh yeah. This was a party. A birthday party, specifically. A REAL fucking birthday party. Like, she was fucking blowing out candles, on the weak ass cake, and there was a fucking mound of nicely wrapped gifts on the table, and her fucking GRANDMOTHER was there. Since we got there right as she blew out the candles, some little-shit cousin or whatever felt sorry for us and earned us a part in the encore of the happy birthday song. Long story short, we left after 10 minutes (The last 9 were out of pity).

    On the way home, my friend says to me, "Dude, I have a 30pack in the trunk and was so close to bringing it inside when we got here, that would've been awkward as fuck."

  2. #2
    nut butter Poppn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z View Post
    Do it.

    I'll go first. So a couple months back it's a weekend night and I have nothing in particular planned, one of my buds call me up and says "Yo dawg this chick is having a birthday party, we should totally go" so I'm like aight, and I'm excited because it was the summer and I hadn't managed to do much fun stuff in that non-college-town. So we get on our way, eventually get to the chicks house.

    We go inside and.... we were at the party. Oh yeah. This was a party. A birthday party, specifically. A REAL fucking birthday party. Like, she was fucking blowing out candles, on the weak ass cake, and there was a fucking mound of nicely wrapped gifts on the table, and her fucking GRANDMOTHER was there. Since we got there right as she blew out the candles, some little-shit cousin or whatever felt sorry for us and earned us a part in the encore of the happy birthday song. Long story short, we left after 10 minutes (The last 9 were out of pity).

    On the way home, my friend says to me, "Dude, I have a 30pack in the trunk and was so close to bringing it inside when we got here, that would've been awkward as fuck."
    LMAO to the 30 pack comment


    A week or so ago, I was parked in the car with a girl I met not too long ago...long story short, she was on top of me making out while we were in the passenger seat and a cop pulls up with his lights all up on my car. Before we even knew what was happening, the cop opens my door and says "Are you guys done here?" I replied with "We haven't even started!!", and he told us to get outta here

  3. #3
    Miss October toi tyme's Avatar
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    my out of college friend invited me to this party... he said it was at his buddys house.. and the son of his buddy was my age. the dad was super cool and so i thought there was a party for like my age college kids.. keg stand, lots of drinking, music, sounded like a great time! I told him that i was with friends and i wouldnt go unless they could.. He said no one cared if they came..



    SO i get to the party, its at the neighbors house... i hear mexican music, and head in through the back yard...


    IT WAS A FIESTA! I knew two english speaking ppl.. my friend and his buddy the dad of the guy I knew.. there was a keg stand, lots of tequila and gooooood mexi food!

    salsa dancing,,, and a lot of mexian guys hitting on me... they were all really friendly so i decided to stay, same with my other friends.. the ladies like them and the guys liked me.

    all in all i learned how to salsa dance, my friends got to do keg stands.. shots everywhere.. it was actually a good time!

    they invited my friends and me back for their next huge party.

  4. #4
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A



    Ref. 2B


  5. #5
    Impounded 86 IROC-Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A

    Click for full size

    Ref. 2B

    Click for full size
    That's why you ask for a spoon pic man.

  6. #6
    Veteran pajeff02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A

    Click for full size

    Ref. 2B

    Click for full size


  7. #7
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    She linked me to a photobucket/imagehost/whatever website here. Like 8 pages of "pink Panties". I fell for it, hard. On stones. Sharp stones.

  8. #8
    Bone it like you own it FORD RECOVERY EXPERT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A

    Click for full size

    Ref. 2B

    Click for full size


  9. #9
    Impounded 86 IROC-Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z View Post
    That's why you ask for a spoon pic man.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    She linked me to a photobucket/imagehost/whatever website here. Like 8 pages of "pink Panties". I fell for it, hard. On stones. Sharp stones.
    See above.

  10. #10
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    Jeff..this chick was in Muncy. Fucking MUNCY! That should've been enough warning ahead of time!

  11. #11
    Veteran pajeff02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Jeff..this chick was in Muncy. Fucking MUNCY! That should've been enough warning ahead of time!

    After that drive -- you should have taken one for the team!

    I have heard a ton (no pun intended) of similar stories from people coming into my office over the years. Some have flown cross country to meet people only to find that things are not quite what they were represented to be. Your experience has to be one of the best though.

  12. #12
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    I didn't mention Lumpy the Lump-backed Stripper either, did I?


    Went to the Valley Bowling Center over in Waverly. Friends were drinking and watching Karaoke (didnt fuckin bowl at ALL) and having a fun time, I was bored. Hung around til it was time to leave (i think 1ish). And Jokingly as I was driving, I mentioned Bare Facts strip club. We head back towards rt 17 and Aaron (my buddys gf) says LETS GO! So, i turned around and drove them there. We get inside and they closed in an hour. Somehow or another Aaron was goin' back outside to get a beer and Brad was following her, leaving me alone beside the well-greased brass pole. I'm sittin' there and all of a sudden this girl, cute as shit comes up and leads me back to "the room". Mind you, i say she's cute, she reminds me a lot of one of my buddies wives. 5'3"ish, 110 tops. Cute girl. She starts givin' me the most awkward lapdance i've ever received. She was doin her deed and I'm sitting there, half intrigued, half disgusted. She had this lump. I don't know what in the hell it was, but between her shoulderblades, off to one side, was this lump. It was like someone had implanted half of a baseball under her skin in her back! I couldn't take my eyes off of it!

  13. #13
    Veteran 0rion's Avatar
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    2 words....wet fart. Completely off guard.

  14. #14
    Spaz is My Mentor SMWS6TA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 0rion View Post
    2 words....wet fart. Completely off guard.
    Was Sarge upset?

  15. #15
    your parts guy!!! 1fastcamarosss11's Avatar
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    hey i'm prego. (1st one)
    hey guess what i'm prego again(3rd) wtf are you kidding me?
    she wasn't 3 kids later.

  16. #16
    Veteran pajeff02's Avatar
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    In 1991, my two best friends were married. We decided on a little trip to the Canadian strip bars for the bachelor party. We rented a 15 passenger van and loaded up at 6:00 a.m. for our trip. The guys did a head count, checked on how much beer everyone brought and decided that they each had to drink a beer every 20 miles in order to be empty by the time we reached the Canadian border.

    A little after 6:00 a.m. they all cracked their first beer of the day and the party began. Where we started from was just over 180 miles from the border, so they had about 9 beers to drink each, plus they were passing around a thermos of vodka and cranberry juice. Within 40 miles, they had me driving as I do not drink.

    As we started to approach the border, the boys were all looking just a little bleary eyed. It did not help that we had not eaten anything on the ride up either. We pulled up about a half mile short of crossing the bridge into Canada and dumped all the empties into the trash. I drive over the bridge and we roll into customs a little before 11:00 a.m. I roll down the window and the customs officers starts his questions -- how many in the vehicle, all citizens of the U.S., what is your purpose of travel, etc...

    The boys are all on their best behavior until the officer asked, "Is there any alcohol in the vehicle?" At this point, Org, the guy in the front passenger seat, leans forward and loudly announces, "Not any more there ain't!" My asshole immediately puckered and my face had to drain of color -- thinking to myself that we are definitely going to be asked to pull over... when the customs officer grins and says, "Enjoy your stay in Canada guys", before waving us through.

  17. #17
    ʢ ൧ ൨ ൩ ൪ ൫ ൬ ൭ ൮Ր Ց Ւ Փ Smittro's Avatar
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    When I was young (teen) my best friend and I went to McDonolds for some grub. It was @ night after our usual rounds of cuiseing the scene for chicks. So we get some drive through and my buddy whom is driving begins to pull out onto the road. So like anyone does I'm bent over the bag on the floor looking to seperate our orders and eat. I hand him his burger which he propmtly begins to open and eat. I get my burger open it up and as I'm taking a bite I happen to look over the wrapper. Mouth full of burger I see head lights. I now come to the realization he has begun driving in the far far left lane of the 4-lane road. As calmly as I can with a mouth full of burger I say, " DUDE! you're on the wrong side of the road." At this point there is now chewed burger everywhere. He then proceeds to panic and take hold of the wheel with both hands, still clutching his burger now smashed all over the wheel. He swerves hard right and proceeds to run over the concrete median. With sparks flying,burgers,fries,and two large cokes now orbiting within the car we bounce into the proper lanes. Must have been one hell of a sight for the other folks on the the road,with food flying out both windows and sparks all around.
    So now covered in fast food and soft drinks, he asks, "now what?" Now as much as I wanted to kill him all I could muster was, "turn your head lights on"...

  18. #18
    Senior Member ss~zoso~ss's Avatar
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    Today 8 years ago, talk about the epitome of getting caught off guard, second to Pearl Harbor


  19. #19
    Veteran 35th-ANV-SS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A

    Click for full size

    Ref. 2B

    Click for full size

  20. #20
    Yeah baby! Yeah! silverWS6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zapper2003 View Post
    Happend a long time ago, like 4-5 years probably. i met this chick online. I highlight that, well, for future reference of course. Anyhow, we were talkin' to each other a lot and shit and it was gonna be good. I drove to her house new years eve. Yeah, to her house, on new years eve, I drove. Fucking I drove 2 and a half fucking HOURS to her house. Anyhooter, i pulled in the drive and her dad is outside burning trash and smoking something. Did I mention her dad burning trash? He fucking looked like WOOGIE from there's something about mary. Fucking Woogie (Picture 1A) is standing there in front of me burning trash on new years eve, drunk as fuck smoking something outside in his driveway. So i pulled in, parked, and talked to the Woogster long enough to smell shit i didn't wanna be smelling and find out where his daughter was. He was pretty cool about it and all. I walked in and betty fuckin' crocker meets me at the door. The house wreaks of homemade food (veggie pizza for fucksake..who eats VEGGIE PIZZA on NYE!?). So I again ask where this daughter is. She says she's in the living room foldin' clothes. I'm like alright. So i meander my way into the living room, where I'm greeted by PinkPantiesXoXo or what the fuck ever her screen name was. Yeah, Pink Panties. I didn't realize there was that much pink fabric in the northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania. FUUUUUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY. I was lied to by this huge fucking bitch. For reference, refer to picture 2B. I'm not black, or ripped, but this huge bitch lied to me. I said "hi...woah" and turned my ass around and LEFT. Did not say bye, nothing, to anybody. I fucking drove 2 and a half hours to be met by the man-beast known as Pink Panties. I DO NOT, reapeat, DO NOT fall for this anymore. If it seems to good to be true, it is, run away, don't ask questions and do not look back.


    Ref. 1A

    Click for full size

    Ref. 2B

    Click for full size
    What if "2B" was the ugly sister and "pink panties" just went to get more clothes at the exact moment that you walked in??

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