OMG, I am a daddy?!

[SHines-IT]

I hate those fucking phone calls...

Little kid calls you up,"Hey daddy."

Me,"I think you have the wrong number, son"... lol... If this was 3-4 years from now, I would been like shit... Could this be, fuck...

This is when I hear the water works,"daddy no likes me mommy." Female in voice in the back ground,"Give me the phone"...

Me, I just fucking hang up and let the phone ring off the hook...

Lol, I am sure some of you went though this... Actually could take this as a legit scare.

[third_shift|studios]

wut??? is it a scam?

[SHines-IT]

IDK, she probably wants child support. Kid was probably around 5, I lost my virginity last year.

[Spaz]

did the air bags go off???

[third_shift|studios]

ok, just re-read it...makes sense now. obvious wrong number. pretty funny though!

[LSCyaL8R]

did the air bags go off???

OMG....

[SHines-IT]

did the air bags go off???

If this was 3-5 years in the feature, and was driving... Yea, they wold have deployed.

[86 IROC-Z]

I remember back during high school I was on spring break in florida and my girlfriend was there (didn't go together, each groups of friends etc). Anyway we're fooling around, and I was so drunk I didn't realize I was inside of her and splooged and was like 'o crap'

So the next day we go to some random ass pharmacy and I go in to buy a plan B pill or whatever it is (my girlfriend was too embarrassed)(I already stated I was going to pay for it though, $50 is a much better alt. than a fucked up life at 17yo)

I get to the counter and ask this old lady at the counter for a plan B pill.
She goes:
"Honey, that medication is for girls."
I was looking else where but after hearing her say that my head slowly revolves around, I lock eyes with her and give her the bert stare for a good 15 seconds.
I reply:
"I know, but I heard on the internet that if guys take it the girl hormones in it will create an imbalance of hormones and more guy hormones will be created to balance it out and that will make my muscles bigger"
She's starts saying some shit like:
"Oh, no sweetie, that's not how it works, blah blah blah"
And then I cut her off and say its for my gotdamn girlfriend and to sell me the damn pill. Some people are too easy.

[SHines-IT]

I remember back during high school I was on spring break in florida and my girlfriend was there (didn't go together, each groups of friends etc). Anyway we're fooling around, and I was so drunk I didn't realize I was inside of her and splooged and was like 'o crap'

So the next day we go to some random ass pharmacy and I go in to buy a plan B pill or whatever it is (my girlfriend was too embarrassed)(I already stated I was going to pay for it though, $50 is a much better alt. than a fucked up life at 17yo)

I get to the counter and ask this old lady at the counter for a plan B pill.
She goes:
"Honey, that medication is for girls."
I was looking else where but after hearing her say that my head slowly revolves around, I lock eyes with her and give her the bert stare for a good 15 seconds.
I reply:
"I know, but I heard on the internet that if guys take it the girl hormones in it will create an imbalance of hormones and more guy hormones will be created to balance it out and that will make my muscles bigger"
She's starts saying some shit like:
"Oh, no sweetie, that's not how it works, blah blah blah"
And then I cut her off and say its for my gotdamn girlfriend and to sell me the damn pill. Some people are too easy.

LMAO, I had to buy that for my little brothers friend... 15 year olds should not have sex, then cry and be scared at the end. Then in that case, there not ready... But my brother and I went to the counter to get the pill. The lady just looked at us like wtf... Lol... I just said,"My brother is an idoit, he had sex with our cousin and is now scared shitless." She really gave him a wtf look..

[wheeliE-maxx]

I thought from the thread title you got your gf preggers because you said y'all just go straight natural with no precautions. Thankfully for the sake of the rest of the world this didn't happen

[SHines-IT]

I thought from the thread title you got your gf preggers because you said y'all just go straight natural with no precautions. Thankfully for the sake of the rest of the world this didn't happen

Meh, that's why it's so funny, lol.

[suede]

I remember back during high school I was on spring break in florida and my girlfriend was there (didn't go together, each groups of friends etc). Anyway we're fooling around, and I was so drunk I didn't realize I was inside of her and splooged and was like 'o crap'

So the next day we go to some random ass pharmacy and I go in to buy a plan B pill or whatever it is (my girlfriend was too embarrassed)(I already stated I was going to pay for it though, $50 is a much better alt. than a fucked up life at 17yo)

I get to the counter and ask this old lady at the counter for a plan B pill.
She goes:
"Honey, that medication is for girls."
I was looking else where but after hearing her say that my head slowly revolves around, I lock eyes with her and give her the bert stare for a good 15 seconds.
I reply:
"I know, but I heard on the internet that if guys take it the girl hormones in it will create an imbalance of hormones and more guy hormones will be created to balance it out and that will make my muscles bigger"
She's starts saying some shit like:
"Oh, no sweetie, that's not how it works, blah blah blah"
And then I cut her off and say its for my gotdamn girlfriend and to sell me the damn pill. Some people are too easy.

I've bought 3.... fuck i need to drunk less

[Smkn_TA]

I just force fed an entire months prescription of birth control pills down my girls throat when shit happened. Then I falcon punched her right in the ovaries just to be sure.

[SHines-IT]

I just force fed an entire months prescription of birth control pills down my girls throat when shit happened. Then I falcon punched her right in the ovaries just to be sure.

I always thought yo was a girl,

[86 IROC-Z]

I always thought yo was a girl,

bertstare.jpg

[SiggyZ]

picard.jpg

I always thought yo was a girl,

[GTP231]

did the air bags go off???

[GTP231]

If this was 3-5 years in the feature, and was driving... Yea, they wold have deployed.

Future you waste of an orgasm

[wheeliE-maxx]

Future you waste of an orgasm

Do you mean organism? Just making sure you got it right when correcting someone

[GTP231]

Do you mean organism? Just making sure you got it right when correcting someone

He was created when his daddy had an orgasm. Unfortunately he has been a waste of that orgasm. I would've said hard on but I didn't want Shines getting too excited