Nudist colony

[doberman 152]

Sarge joined a very exclusive nudist colony.

On his first day he took off his clothes and started to

wander around the area.

A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man

immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and

asked, 'did you call for me?'

Sarge replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain.

It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies

you called for me.'

Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool,
laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily
let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities.

He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.

Within seconds a huge, hairy man named 0rion lumbered out of the
steam room toward him.

'Did you call for me?' asked 0rion.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule
that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a
bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where
he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I
help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back
and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours.
You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once
a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

[Nhra Firebird]

[1MileCrash]

hahahahahahaha

[Aetos]

and it starts....

[BdAsBrd01]

and it starts....

Eventually........

[bluehawk2000]

That shit was hilarious, damn it was actually worth the read that would be cool on the female part but the farting shit would def suck.

[Sarge]

Dobie and Orion was sitting in the travel office looking and deciding where to go on their next gay cruise/vacation.
Dobie sez to Orion..."let's try Greece."
"why ....what is wrong with regular Vaseline" Orion says confused...............

[Sarge]

Dobie and Orion were visiting the zoo, when they found themselves at the
gorilla cage. The gorilla was sitting there with a huge erection. Unable
to contain himself Orion reaches in to touch it.
As soon as his arm goes into the cage, the gorilla grabs him, and takes
him into the cage... slams him to the floor and fucks him senseless.
A few days later in hospital Dobie visits and asks his gay partner Orion
if he is hurt...

"Hurt... Hurt... You bet I'm hurt. He hasn't phoned, he hasn't written..."

[bluehawk2000]

uh oh this is going to be a funny thread I can already see!!

[doberman 152]

An old man named "Sarge" was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Picking up, he heard his wife, her voice high with anxiety, warn him, "Sarge, I just saw on the news that there's a car driving the wrong way on Highway 880. Please be careful!"

"One?" replied Sarge, "You've got to be kidding me. I see at least a hundred!"


Sarge & 0rion were taking a shower with each other.
The phone rings and 0rion says to Sarge,
"I will be right back darling, so don't start without me!"
After a minute or so 0rion comes back,
and sees cum splattered all over the shower wall.
"I thought I told you not to start without me!"
replied 0rion, Sarge says "I didn't start without you, I just farted!"

[doberman 152]

Sarge walks into a barber shop.

he says to the barber. “Sir how can I make hair grow on my chest?”

The barber replies, “Go home and put Vaseline on your chest real thick…”

That night Sarge does as the barber told him. His partner 0rion climbs into bed and reaches over to hold him and feels the slime on his chest..he says, “What the hell is this?”

Sarge replies, “The barber told me that if I put Vaseline on my chest hair would grow..”

0rion replies, “You stupid son of a bitch, if that were the case you would have a damn pony tail hanging out of your ass.”

[doberman 152]

A man, named Sarge, asked his doctor if there was a test to see to help him determine if he was gay.

The doctor said, "Yes, there is. Please pull down your pants."

Sarge pulled down his pants, the doctor grabbed his testicles and told him to say 55. The man said "55."

The doctor then grabbed the man's penis and told him to say 55. Sarge said "55".

The doctor then told the man to turn around, and putting a finger in the man's anus he once again told him to say 55.

Sarge said, "1...2...3..."

Sarge is in a bar, on all fours, trying to pick up some money he dropped.

0rion says, "Hey, you! Move it or I'll give you a foot up the ass!"

Sarge looks around and says, "I think you're bragging, but I'm game if you are."

[Packy]

Nice!

[doberman 152]

[Nhra Firebird]

the funny part is that they're true stories.

[doberman 152]

the funny part is that they're true stories.

He has Ls1.com status now, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

[Sarge]

LOL......
It is hotter than hell out here on the deck. So I will particpate this evening when the sun goes down. Fucking 92f and no breeze at all. Mama dont let me smoke in the condo anymore....so I gotta go wireless out here......bunch of bullshit. Just cuz there is lil babies....no smoking....hell I smoked a big fucking cloud in my house when we had our babies....but somehow our babies babies you cannot smoke around them....fucking bullshit.
I was raised eating lead based paint chips and red dye #5 M&M's....rode in the back of my Dads truck for the first 6 years of my life....all us kids would just roll from one side to the other as he whipped around the corners.....now it is organic baby food and booster seats. Fucking liberal sons a bitches.
I digress. Fuck you Dobie...you BigWheel riding sum bitch....I'll smoke your ass.......
Where is Shady?

[bluehawk2000]

this thread is going to be friggin epic.

[Sarge]

No LawDog was epic. Dobie is just...well...ugh...well he is Dobie.....

[bluehawk2000]

lol lmao, dont no lawdog, and I can actually see your point their sarge but this is the shit that I loved to read expecially sitting here at work bored as fawwwkk.