No, I'm not making this up

**SiggyZ** · 09-15-2011, 08:10 AM

"The headline pretty much covers it, but we will provide further details for all the newshounds out there.
According to reports, Percy Foster, a 35-year-old dwarf adult film star, was found partially eaten in a badger's den in Wales. Workers from the Ministry of Agriculture were preparing to gas the den when they came across the 3'6" Foster buried deep within the the tunnels of the sett (another name for a network of badger tunnels).
Foster was new to the world of porn but had impressed producers with his uncanny resemblance to celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. According to as much Google research as we could feasibly do in the office without getting fired, celebrity-lookalike-dwarf-porn is the financial pinnacle of adult dwarf entertainment and Foster was set to strike it rich.
However, the stress may have been too much for Foster, as adult film producer Dexter Yamunkeh notes that "Percy was a little guy with big problems. He was doing well but he was under pressure 24/7, like everyone in this g**damned business."
We will spare you the inevitable "Master Chef" porn titles that we are all obviously thinking and simply wonder this: in a world where everything has already been done at least once, could this be the first suicide by badger?"

**Mr. Luos** · 09-15-2011, 08:13 AM

I can't pick out just one line to make a funny....

**Spaz** · 09-15-2011, 08:17 AM

honey badger...

**1MileCrash** · 09-15-2011, 10:33 AM

how the hell...

**SiggyZ** · 09-15-2011, 10:59 AM

**SiggyZ** · 09-15-2011, 11:00 AM

No, it's called Hell's Kitchen.

Originally Posted by 1MileCrash

how the hell...

**0rion** · 09-15-2011, 11:32 AM

I'll have to come back to this one.......

**Spaz** · 09-16-2011, 04:21 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

I'll have to come back to this one.......

that's what he said... but he never made it out!!!

**0rion** · 09-16-2011, 04:55 AM

I love midgets.......I wish I knew a midget to hang out with. I think it'd be fun to have one around. Out in PA where we go for Memorial day weekend and July 4th week there's a grocery store that has a midget chick working the cashier. I'd like to bring her back to camp to hang out sometime but my wife would probably beat the shit out of me if I did. I've never kept it a secret that I'd like to have a midget around so she wouldn't be shocked.......just pissed.

**SiggyZ** · 09-16-2011, 06:30 AM

Just watch Little People. Big World, Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling or Pit Boss. Problem solved.

Originally Posted by 0rion

I love midgets.......I wish I knew a midget to hang out with. I think it'd be fun to have one around. Out in PA where we go for Memorial day weekend and July 4th week there's a grocery store that has a midget chick working the cashier. I'd like to bring her back to camp to hang out sometime but my wife would probably beat the shit out of me if I did. I've never kept it a secret that I'd like to have a midget around so she wouldn't be shocked.......just pissed.

**TLS_Addict** · 09-16-2011, 06:44 AM

Why the hell would he be in there with a bunch of badgers?

**02ragtop t/a** · 09-22-2011, 09:47 AM

There used to be a biker bar in Newark, NJ called Suppa's that had REALLY BAAAAAAD go-go girls. But, every once in a while, a really good looking dwarf chick would show up to dance. I tell you man, she was really nice looking, about 3'-10" or so with long black hair, nice perky little boobs, and a bangin' ass. Anyway, one night, after an exceptionally long battle with the Bud Light, I talked her into letting me ride her home on my Harley. It was kind of funny, 'cause her feet couldn't reach the pegs so she tried to wrap them around my waist. No good either, so she had to let them hang down. It looked like I had a 10 year old on the back. To make a long story short, we actually started dating for a while. It was probably pretty comical to see since I'm 6'-4" and she was only about 3-10, but you know what they say: Good things come in small packages. Well, I was definately a "good thing". After about 6 months though, we broke it off. She was tired of all the snide comments and remarks from people. I tell you, it killed me to let her go, you know, because I was nuts over her. Que sera, sera.

**CJREX** · 09-22-2011, 10:41 AM

**Zinergy** · 09-22-2011, 11:02 AM

Two days ago I was almost home from work when I looked left and saw a little person walking on the sidewalk. He was probably about 4ft, had one leg and had those canes that strap to your wrists. His shirt was black and in bright green letters said COME GET SOME. I laughed soo damn hard.