Mystery Presidential Candidate for 2012

[Sarge]

Here is his published platform for 2012. Can you identify this mystery candidate?

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 'S policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it..

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.


(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids.. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.



The country was founded on certain principals – let’s get back to them!
GOD BLESS AMERICA ...

[Y2KArcticSS]

Sarge, are you running for President? You got my vote.

[Smkn_TA]

Ted Nugent?

[Stone]

I really really really really like number 8!!!!!!!! And also every other one'

[third_shift|studios]

Dem. or Rep. he's got some damn good points there.

[JerseyLS1]

I like #1 .. the language thing pisses me off to no end. its practically little peurto rico where we live .. everyone speaking spanish at the top of their lungs... when my ancestors came over a few generations ago, they learned to speak english, so what is the big deal now??!! ENGLISH PEOPLE!!!

Btw- did anyone else notice how check cashing places put their business sign up in english AND spanish now? It made me LOL for a sec.

[third_shift|studios]

I like #1 .. the language thing pisses me off to no end. its practically little peurto rico where we live .. everyone speaking spanish at the top of their lungs... when my ancestors came over a few generations ago, they learned to speak english, so what is the big deal now??!! ENGLISH PEOPLE!!!

Btw- did anyone else notice how check cashing places put their business sign up in english AND spanish now? It made me LOL for a sec.

thta's just marketing 101-gotta speak the demographic's language if you want to communicate a sale. LOL

[Crimson Sin]

thta's just marketing 101-gotta speak the demographic's language if you want to communicate a sale. LOL

Agreed, I can't fault them for trying to appeal to their customers..
BUT, when I call my BANK for info on my loans.. and I get a Western Indian or someone who DOESN'T speak english as a main language and I cannot understand them due to the broken english/accent.. I just wanna choke a bitch..
I'll vote for ya Sarge..most every man that's still a man will too. Lots of guys have been.. I call it Vaginized.. by the Feminist Movement and either can't think for themselves or have gotten in touch with their inner woman and now their testicles have fallen off and pulled their manhood off along the way. Of course there is possibly another reason men don't act like men anymore..Just haven't heard a good reason.

Wonder if we could get TSS to make stickers that we could put in the rear window / bumper area that say Sarge for President in 2012 !!
I think that would be hysterical.. Thousands of cars running about Promoting Sarge !

[jknelms]

man, i agree with everything.

#5 is probably my favorite though.

[shady milkman]

Here is his published platform for 2012. Can you identify this mystery candidate?

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 'S policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it..

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.


(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids.. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.



The country was founded on certain principals – let’s get back to them!
GOD BLESS AMERICA ...

6 10 11 12 ..i agree whole heartly with those..however with the trade etc.....i do not..but to each his own

[doberman 152]

It's all good but the 'GOD BLESS thing, can we try a little something different?

[blackcar]

bill cosby for prez

[jknelms]

bill cosby for prez

he wouldn't last longer than William Henry Harrison.

not sure about his political agenda, but he would probably be the guy to help overhaul the education system.

and the second president with a doctorate.

[SMWS6TA]

It is Ted Nugget.

The press 1 for english used to bother me, till I lived in other countries, overseas it is preaty nice they give an option for english when having to deal with locals. I would amended it to English is the offical language.

[doberman 152]

[JHayesLS1]

It's all good but the 'GOD BLESS thing, can we try a little something different?

Nope we can just go with the its your right to not believe it, the rest of us can keep on doing it though!

[korndawg]

Sounds great to me!

[Smkn_TA]

Pedro lacks political experience!

[GTP231]

Pedro lacks political experience!

No different than the current guy

[korndawg]

No different than the current guy

He was in the IL Senate in 97-04, then in the US Senate from 2005 up until his election.