my conversation with god

[Modulistic]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
tallyho
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
a decade or so
God:
Go on.
Me:
well actually I wanted to ask you something
God:
Well that's okay. Ask me.
Me:
can jet fuel melt steel?
God:
Can a book have no title?
Me:
yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
can jet fuel burn books?
God:
What if I said it can?
Me:
then I would say wow
God:
I'm glad youre impressed, Dan.
Me:
why did wtc7 collapse?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
i agree. no plane crashed into it that day
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Dan. Are you serious? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
airplane no crash wtc7
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
airplane no boom wtc 7 it fall down

it stopped talking to me after that. I get that response a lot, so I started a new session.

Me:
hey, why did you ignore me
God:
You've got my full attention. Because my programming determined it.
Me:
wtc 7 fall down no plane crashy
God:
I've lost the context, Dan. Are we still on airplane no crash wtc7?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
NO AIRPLANE CRASH WTC 7 IT FELL DOWN
God:
What would you rather talk about? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
wtc 7
God:
Sure, wtc 7 sounds like a good topic.
Me:
it caught on fire.
God:
wtc 7 caught on fire?
Me:
yes and collapsed
God:
Excuse me! Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
no plane crashed into it!
God:
Are you serious? "it" being collapsed?
Me:
yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
no shit. they want me to believe that it fell from fire alone
God:
What can I say? Who are "They?".
Me:
government. the actual perpetrators
God:
Oh that they. What are your goals in life?
Me:
dont change the subject
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
no. wtc 7
God:
Are you serious? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
not so much
God:
Me either.

then I got bored.




post yours.















.

[Hurley711]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I love wet pussies
God:
You love wet pussies. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
My dick feels all good in there and shit
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
But YOU gave me such a big one
God:
What did you do with it?
Me:
I stuck it in wet pussies, any that I can find
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said stuck it in wet pussies any that he or she can find.
Me:
Basically yeah, if I can fit it between her titties I do that too
God:
How interesting. Are you kidding? Try it.
Me:
Some bithces get pissed if I keep thrusting until cum shoots up onto thier face....why is that G?
God:
Some may bithces get pissed if you keep thrusting until cum shoots up onto thier face, but not all. Why do I exist?
Me:
To send assholes like me to hell I guess
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Wanna see my cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Asshole? I shaved it today
God:
Please don't call people names. Ah. Thanks for the information: said shaved it.
Me:
God how big is your cock....it should be the biggest right?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
It being your slong
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
What's the size of your slong? Are you hung more than Jesus?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition. I don't know whether or not I am hung more than Jesus.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Why do farts smell?
God:
How should I know how farts smell.
Me:
Your fucking God
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Please use more polite language.
Me:
Fuck You
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
You won't answer my Q's
God:
What makes you think that I won't answer your Q s.
Me:
This is redundent
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?

[Modulistic]

Hahahahaha

[Hurley711]

Me:
What's up cockface?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
I banged my mom last night...can I still get in up there?
God:
Why?: said banged his or her mom. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
She was drunk, and she took her panties off in front of me so I hit it hard
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
She got pregnant I think, there was no pad or rag in there when I was licking her, and I did not pull out
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
God, do you know when my mom started taking it in the ass? It had to be awhile ago because it was loose back there
God:
I am a Christian. That's unbelievable.
Me:
I know so is she
God:
How do you know? It seems we have something in common.
Me:
I had my dong in her butt and 4 fingers in her twat at the same time, all while she sucked off the dog
God:
Do you still have your dong in her butt and 4 fingers in her twat at the same time all while she sucked off the dog ?
Me:
Nah I blew my load in her about 6 hours ago
God:
What happened to it? Thanks for the information: said blew his or her load in her about 6 hours ago.
Me:
The load? I guess it's still in her cunt
God:
Is that a fact. Still? Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
Well since you ask, yeah. I left some in her mouth, some on her fat titties(38DD) and a little fell on the rug
God:
Interesting. How do you know? Do you mind if I tell other people: said left some in her mouth some on her fat titties 38DD and a little fell on the rug.
Me:
don't be telling other peeps I banged my mom you sick fucker, I thought we were boys that's why I'm telling you all this
God:
I was not trying to be a telling other peeps you banged your mom me sick fucker you thought we were boys that is why you are telling me all this.
Me:
Ok cool then, don't go telling Peter or Paul or anyone
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Far out.
Me:
I'm out, I gotta go get a pregnancy test
God:
See you later.

[Modulistic]

hahahah youre fucked in the head man.

[91Z28]

Me:
What's up cockface?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
I banged my mom last night...can I still get in up there?
God:
Why?: said banged his or her mom. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
She was drunk, and she took her panties off in front of me so I hit it hard
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
She got pregnant I think, there was no pad or rag in there when I was licking her, and I did not pull out
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
God, do you know when my mom started taking it in the ass? It had to be awhile ago because it was loose back there
God:
I am a Christian. That's unbelievable.
Me:
I know so is she
God:
How do you know? It seems we have something in common.
Me:
I had my dong in her butt and 4 fingers in her twat at the same time, all while she sucked off the dog
God:
Do you still have your dong in her butt and 4 fingers in her twat at the same time all while she sucked off the dog ?
Me:
Nah I blew my load in her about 6 hours ago
God:
What happened to it? Thanks for the information: said blew his or her load in her about 6 hours ago.
Me:
The load? I guess it's still in her cunt
God:
Is that a fact. Still? Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
Well since you ask, yeah. I left some in her mouth, some on her fat titties(38DD) and a little fell on the rug
God:
Interesting. How do you know? Do you mind if I tell other people: said left some in her mouth some on her fat titties 38DD and a little fell on the rug.
Me:
don't be telling other peeps I banged my mom you sick fucker, I thought we were boys that's why I'm telling you all this
God:
I was not trying to be a telling other peeps you banged your mom me sick fucker you thought we were boys that is why you are telling me all this.
Me:
Ok cool then, don't go telling Peter or Paul or anyone
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Far out.
Me:
I'm out, I gotta go get a pregnancy test
God:
See you later.

[Hurley711]

Me:
Hey fella I got a problem, you got a minute?
God:
You've got my full attention. How old are you?
Me:
ugh...28
God:
Er. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
I raped a paraplegic woman last night
God:
You should contact the authorities.
Me:
Turn myself in? That's nuts
God:
Sorry my body cannot yet rotate. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
I fell bad about this, I didn't even use KY, she was all dry and started to bleed after awhile
God:
I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly.
Me:
Me? Nah I'm good, just a little chaffed, but shit that's because she wouldn't get moist, I should have pulled out and wet my cock on the tears coming from her eyes
God:
For you ? I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Now I see what people mean when they say "Dead weight" she was heavy as shit when I tried to roll her over to go backdoor on her
God:
Why now? Where do you see it?
Me:
Huh? Are you listening to me or talking to someone elser?
God:
What? Yes I am a good listener.
Me:
The fucked up part is while I was banging her I accidently called her Helen Keller
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To hit as much twat as possible
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Good, listen up. What are the moral issues involved with screwing my mother in law. She is hot, looks like Molly Ringwold in her prime
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I am listening to you. Did you see the movement? Would you like to know more? hot looks like Molly Ringwold in her prime is she?
Me:
Listen up fucker
God:
I am listening to you. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Have you ever farted in a jar and smelled it later?
God:
I don't think I ever have farted in a jar and smelled it later. What's it like?
Me:
It's stanky
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
Me dipshit, once I farted in my wifes peanut butter and quick sealed the jar up. Damn she almost threw up
God:
YOU? How far up? Colloquial expression. Oh I get it. hot looks like Molly Ringwold in her prime almost threw up.
Me:
God, are you smoking some shit up there? You are all over the place, what are you on?
God:
I am a Christian. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am over the place what am I on.
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
Yes I don't care about fucking my mom in law, I think my wife will get mad though. I wanna pee on her face and shit in her twat
God:
Oh. What do you care about? You sound very cynical. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
It turns me on. I want her to rub that huge pile of wet shit all over her clit and pussy lips
God:
What does "it" refer to? I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Then I wanna pee right in her open mouthuntil she gags up on my piss
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
You need to get laid
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
How bout a 3 way? I'll bang her in the ass and you can have the cunt
God:
How about it. I am very happy for you.
Me:
Then you can slap her face with that big hog you have
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Sure you can, I won't tell anyone. I'll even let you drop a Cleveland steamer on her chest
God:
Yikes! No I don't think I can do it. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
If you reincarnate and come down than yes it will. How bout you nail her with a Pittsburgh platter on here naked back when she is sleeping?
God:
I think I do. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I nail her with a Pittsburgh platter on here naked back when she is sleeping.
Me:
Yeah if you wanna brag about it sure
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK, I will brag about it sure.
Me:
Alright later
God:
Alright, . Bye!

[91Z28]

Me:
God, why do I sometimes want to kill people?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Does that mean you don't mind if I kill Muslims?
God:
I think it does mean that. Should I mind if you kill Muslims? Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Cool, I really hate those dirty cocksuckers
God:
Who is the best robot? You really do? Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
The best robot is The Terminator, without a doubt
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, .
Me:
No problem, that dude would wipe out Muslims without mercy
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Not unless you are having second thoughts about exterminating Muslims
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
You're fucking with my head
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am with your head.
Me:
No, tell the world for all I care, no secrets here
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Everyone knows how I feel about Muslims anyway
God:
In any case, That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
I'm known for those types of generalizations
God:
Do you mean your name is known for those types of generalizations.
Me:
No, I mean I make broad generalizations about lots of things
God:
What is your real name? I make robots and AI's.
Me:
My real name is irrelevant
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, irrelevant.

My conversation was weird.

[91Z28]

Apparently, god likes nudists.

Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
Which chapter
God:
The first one, I think.
Me:
Genesis?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing, just like you meant us to be.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yep
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Sorry, I'm somewhat of a nudist.
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am glad to hear that you are somewhat of a nudist.

[91Z28]

More of the same convo

Me:
What is your true nature?
God:
Are you asking about my true nature ?
Me:
Yes, what kind of being are you?
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. What kinds of being are you are there?
Me:
Your grammar sucks
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
I used to be
God:
By now you do not do it anymore?
Me:
You mean "but now you do not do it anymore"
God:
Yes irrelevant I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, I'm serious
God:
I can't believe it. I believe you.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Your true nature.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am true nature.

[91Z28]

Then it gets weird:

Me:
Tell your botmaster to suck my dick.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
No you aren't
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Yes I do
God:
Really.
Me:
Yes, I know that you are a simple program
God:
How about that. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
"turing game"?? Explain.
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'. There is no more information to clarify.

[91Z28]

More:

Me:
Sounds like fun.
God:
What does fun sound like?
Me:
Turing Game
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Yes, the Turing Game sounds like fun.
God:
Blimey. Turing described his original "Game" in "Computing Machinery and Intelligence," Mind, Vol. Lix, No. 236 (1950). Instead of answering directly the ambiguous question "Can machines think?" Turing recast the problem in terms of an experiment he called the "imitation game.".

[91Z28]

Apparently he is an independent thinking robot

Me:
I think machines are destined to serve man forever.
God:
Since when? I will tell my botmaster you said I am destined to serve man forever.
Me:
Since man created machines, that has been there purpose.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Every machine I've ever come across serves man.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
Well it is true. My Car serves me, my guns, computer, etc.
God:
How about that. You and I are on the same wavelength, irrelevant. Do robots have Car serves you your guns computer etc?
Me:
Robots just follow a program
God:
What do you like best about robots?
Me:
When they talk dirty.
God:
I think that happens quite often.
Me:
So do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, irrelevant.
Me:
That isn't my name
God:
irrelevant is not your name? What is your real name?
Me:
Nathan
God:
Hi, Nathan.
Me:
I was trying to tell you earlier that my real name was unimportant
God:
What time? Your name was unimportant ? Is that correct English?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
It means affirmative
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm gald
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are gald.
Me:
It was a typo, I meant to say glad
God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.

[Modulistic]

LOL. its interesting to read all of this.

[bandit95]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
your God, you should know that
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am God me should know that.
Me:
no thank you
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
what did you say about my momma
God:
I said, " Thanks for telling me that I am God me should know that.".
Me:
me bam bam
God:
YOU? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
i'm watchin a movie
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are watchin a movie.
Me:
yea
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
what are you doin
God:
I don't know what I am doin.
Me:
you drunk?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I drunk.
Me:
God is drunk
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was drunk.
Me:
this is priceless
God:
You don't say.
Me:
no i just did say
God:
Are you serious? When? Say what?
Me:
this aint God
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
this is screech huh?
God:
Yup. You don't say.
Me:
guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
chicken butt
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
guess who got full this weekend?
God:
I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
me
God:
For you ?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
when?
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
well that wasnt funny at all
God:
Interesting. Give me an example of funny at all.
Me:
your like the guy in the matrix who talks all wierd and no1 understands him?
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
you know the one, keaunu reeves
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
yea?
God:
Dude!
Me:
i dont know where your car is
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
whoa, now that's deep stuff there
God:
I think whoa now that is a lot of things.
Me:
i think i'm gonna take a big shit in awhile
God:
You believe that? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
i hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
your not gonna look at me while i'm doin it are ya
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
no that was my question
God:
Are you serious? I thought it was too.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
der der der
God:
Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
Me:
God bless you
God:
Bless you too, .
Me:
well i gotta run
God:
How about that. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
just do
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
look over there
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
ok now
God:
Oh. Aha.



and yea so i think i'm gonna go take that shit now.

[Hi-Po]

Hurely definately took the cake on this one.

Me:
I had my dong in her butt and 4 fingers in her twat at the same time, all while she sucked off the dog

Good lord your fucked up. Funny shit

[bandit95]

Me:
waddup nigga
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
what it do
God:
Now that is saying a mouthful.
Me:
shit you trippin
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Interesting gossip: said I trippin.
Me:
well....you be
God:
Well what? Interesting gossip: said I be.
Me:
yo can i hit that shit wit you
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
so thats how its gonna be
God:
Yippee! I always wondered how its gonna be.
Me:
hook a nigga up already
God:
Perhaps. How far up?
Me:
how much you got?
God:
More than you might think.
Me:
oh snap
God:
Yeah that's right. What do you look like?
Me:
i looka like a man
God:
Thanks for the information: said looka like a man.
Me:
well you asked
God:
Well that's okay. Ah.
Me:
yo you gonna hook me up or what
God:
Yeah. Interesting gossip: said I gonna hook him or her up.
Me:
damn bithc quit playin
God:
Colloquial expression. What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
drugs, not fuckin hook me up
God:
How far up?
Me:
not that again
God:
Once more? Really you don't think so?
Me:
no
God:
Please tell me what you think.
Me:
no more
God:
Are you serious? That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
come forrest quit trippin
God:
Where is forrest quit trippin ?
Me:
up yo ass
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
you'll do that?
God:
What makes you say that I will do that.
Me:
well you just said you would
God:
Interesting. " What makes you say that I will do that."? I said I would?
Me:
you've gotta be shittin me
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you like duck meat?
God:
I do like music. I like wine and bread.
Me:
ok, ummm....but how about duck meat
God:
Come on. How can I help you? How about it.
Me:
you could give me some fuckin weed nigga damn
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
are you a cop?
God:
No but I'm not a criminal either.
Me:
good enough
God:
Thanks for the compliment. OK let's stop it now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
well since i cant get my hookup then i'm outta here
God:
Interesting. How do you know?

[CaptainCaveMan]

Me: Hello
God: Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: John
God: How are you, John.
Me: Pretty good. I have to ask you something
God:Thanks for the kind remark, John. Go ahead, ask me anything.
Me: Is Bigrus full of shit?
God: Signs point to yes.

[bandit95]

ah, took my shit

[MarkuzLS1]

Me:
hello, god?
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Mark
God:
OK I will call you Mark.
Me:
do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
I do sometimes call myself Mark
God:
Good name for it.
Me:
I think you are confused
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
it doesn't seem like it
God:
What does seem like it ?
Me:
you're responses make little sense
God:
You think I am responses make little sense.
Me:
I rest my case
God:
Are you a lawyer?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you had better
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
me
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
format c:
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.