My Christmas Cookie Recipe

[banditgirl78]

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another cup .. just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsist icity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo
and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

[Spaz]

i'll supply the cup of nuts...

what kind of cookies does it make? i'll print this out for my mom... i suck ass at baking but i can cook like a mo-fo...

[GOT1GOAT]

Sounds like some good cookies but why add a cup of sugar when you can just swirl your finger around in it?

[DanWS6]

Sounds good to me

[banditgirl78]

Christmas Cookie Dough


Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''"Suzy," Grandma said. "I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there was bb's in it.'' "Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." About five minutes later little Billy came.''Grandma something terrible has happenend, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''

[Blk00ws6]

here we go...

[third_shift|studios]

this is good shit!!!

[banditgirl78]

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

1. A Christmas tree is always erect.

2. Even small ones give satisfaction.

3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

4. It looks good - even with the lights on.

5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.

7. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its sell-by date.

8. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

[Blk00ws6]

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

1. A Christmas tree is always erect.

2. Even small ones give satisfaction.

3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

4. It looks good - even with the lights on.

5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.

7. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its sell-by date.

8. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

Ok you.....
10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
09. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
08. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
07. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
06. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
05. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
04. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
03. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
02. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
01. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

[third_shift|studios]

Ok you.....
10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
09. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
08. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
07. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
06. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
05. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
04. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
03. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
02. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
01. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

1. A Christmas tree is always erect.

2. Even small ones give satisfaction.

3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

4. It looks good - even with the lights on.

5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.

7. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its sell-by date.

8. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

ya'll have some seperation anxiety you need to get rid of?

[banditgirl78]

Ok you.....
10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
09. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
08. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
07. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
06. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
05. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
04. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
03. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
02. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
01. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

I hope he likes the doghouse

[Blk00ws6]

I know I know..... I'm familiar with the motion so you better get familiar with

[banditgirl78]

I know I know..... I'm familiar with the motion

Oh really? I need a new b/f, any takers?

[Spaz]

Oh really? I need a new b/f, any takers?

i don't know... i have a feeling you'd fall in love and i'd fall asleep... j/k j/k j/k!!!! i joke!!! i joke!!!

[Spaz]

i don't know... i have a feeling you'd fall in love and i'd fall asleep... j/k j/k j/k!!!! i joke!!! i joke!!!

look at me posting... are you kidding me?! i'd do things to her i wouldn't even do to farm animals...

[banditgirl78]

You couldn't handle me! Next contestant...

[67CamaroRSSS]

Perhaps something in a more experienced model......

[banditgirl78]

Perhaps something in a more experienced model......

[Sassy Cassie]

I'm sure the guys here will put your reciope to good use, Crystal.

[ls1blackbeauty98]

funny stuff!!