Married people, wedding question...

**DrMilhouse** · 09-11-2009, 02:28 PM

Mostly more for the women, but whatever.

When you guys got married, did you pay for the clothing for your bridal party?

Did you say "This is the dress I want you to wear, go buy it."

or did you say

"This is the dress I want you to wear, what size do I need to get you?"

For travel arrangements, did you pay anyone's travel or hotel, or did they pay?

Just curious.

Thanks!

***doberman 152*** · 09-11-2009, 02:56 PM

None of the above, went the cheap route, Justice of the peace.

**DrMilhouse** · 09-11-2009, 03:25 PM

we could only hope...

and what the hell are you supposed to say when you really don't think the wedding will last. It's already been called off once and rescheduled as well.

The dress she's wanting her bridesmaids to wear is expensive and takes 6 months to get. 6 months isn't all that much less time than the bride and groom have known each other.

Oh yeah... he's almost 60 and it seems that he's loaded... not loaded like has a decent job... like loaded like the VP of a pretty big company, expensive homes in multiple states, travels all the time, eats at 5 star restaurants several times a week, etc... you get the picture.

Oh yeah, she's 26 (and her family actually is pretty well off, though she has actually nothing other than parental nursing).

I don't expect the wedding to even happen so for me to pay a lot (and it's not exuberant, just more than we spent on my wife's wedding dress) for a dress for the wife for a wedding that isn't going to happen sounds a little (... much?) to me. There's also travel expenses that will have to be paid for her to be at the wedding and hotel expenses... etc.

If it was a wedding that I had some sort of faith in, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but they've known each other for like a year, they've been engaged (on and off) for 4 or 5 months.

**86 IROC-Z** · 09-11-2009, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by DrMilhouse

we could only hope...

and what the hell are you supposed to say when you really don't think the wedding will last. It's already been called off once and rescheduled as well.

The dress she's wanting her bridesmaids to wear is expensive and takes 6 months to get. 6 months isn't all that much less time than the bride and groom have known each other.

Oh yeah... he's almost 60 and it seems that he's loaded... not loaded like has a decent job... like loaded like the VP of a pretty big company, expensive homes in multiple states, travels all the time, eats at 5 star restaurants several times a week, etc... you get the picture.

Oh yeah, she's 26 (and her family actually is pretty well off, though she has actually nothing other than parental nursing).

I don't expect the wedding to even happen so for me to pay a lot (and it's not exuberant, just more than we spent on my wife's wedding dress) for a dress for the wife for a wedding that isn't going to happen sounds a little (... much?) to me. There's also travel expenses that will have to be paid for her to be at the wedding and hotel expenses... etc.

If it was a wedding that I had some sort of faith in, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but they've known each other for like a year, they've been engaged (on and off) for 4 or 5 months.

As much as I hate to say it, if she does in fact get married, the girl has won at life

**gbd99ws6** · 09-11-2009, 03:31 PM

sorry can't help, used the courthouse myself.

**DrMilhouse** · 09-11-2009, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

As much as I hate to say it, if she does in fact get married, the girl has won at life

As much as I hate to say this... I agree with you.

**DrMilhouse** · 09-11-2009, 03:37 PM

By the way, he has just bought another house a few weeks ago - he has not bought her a wedding/engagement ring.

**Lysander** · 09-11-2009, 03:38 PM

Wife says: Bridesmaids / groomsmen pay for their own shit in most cases, not always though. If it were me I would back out of taking part in the wedding but still attend.

**67CamaroRSSS** · 09-11-2009, 03:44 PM

I'm cheap: VEGAS BABY!

**BIG GUNS** · 09-11-2009, 04:08 PM

The marriage won't last anyways. Don't pay for anything.....lol.

I'm just pro single.

Seriously, when I got married, the brides maids paid their own way and were fine with it.

I just didn't have the cash to front for all of it.

**rbob93** · 09-11-2009, 04:08 PM

http://ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html

**DrMilhouse** · 09-11-2009, 05:48 PM

eh, I've seen that list of the ettiquette thing. That was awesome when weddings weren't a huge production.

I think times are different and I think if you want a big wedding, you should pay for the big wedding.

Maybe if you're doing a shoestring wedding on a shoestring budget, that could be a little more realistic. It's just not that cool to expect your wedding party to come up with an extra $1000 or $2000 or whatever.

The money thing is all relative, I know that as well as anyone. Some people would say I'm so lucky to have what I have, some would say they have no idea how I can live on so little.

When we got married, we paid for everything. We didn't want anyone to have to be concerned about money getting in the way of their participation in the wedding.

Hotel rooms for everyone, all the dresses were taking care of. My guys wouldn't let me pay for their tuxedos, but I was planning on it.

It's not really all that relavant, but this person getting married was in our wedding.

**JB454** · 09-11-2009, 06:00 PM

Well, i guess I'm w/ dobe, got married at the justice of the peace. Been married 17 yrs and happy. Its alot to expect someone else to come up w/ money for your weading, let alone throw a big one yourselves. My .02.

**Silver Streak** · 09-11-2009, 06:48 PM

We did the drive-through method.

**97DOHC** · 09-11-2009, 07:18 PM

brides maids paid for their dresses. my wife had to pay for 'hers' at 'her; weddings she was invited to as well...

**Smittro** · 09-11-2009, 07:55 PM

We told them what they were going to wear, and paid for every last thing out of our pockets. Right down to the shoes, ties, and cufflinks. We also took everyone to be fitted just to be sure they did'nt forget. The food, the hall and everything inbetween we paid for. We figured it was the only way the go, to make sure all was according to plan.

**Smittro** · 09-11-2009, 08:00 PM

Ps. We got back every dime we spent and a ton more, between gifts of money, and the bridal dance.

**KahanaReef** · 09-11-2009, 08:00 PM

We eloped to Maui. Never cared for all the wedding drama or expense. I thought it better to spend money on an awesome time in HI (which was had indeed

) and got married barefoot on the beach at sunset.

**VtBandit** · 09-12-2009, 04:38 AM

Run Like hell brotha! Your still free, but you are totally screwed after, esp if you have kids involved...wish it wasn't true, but oh so very often it is! I am sure it isn't just the guys that feel that way here either...If its true love, you don't need a shiny piece of metal or a court paper that entitles someone to half of what you own to tell you it is ok. Just my two cents.

**DJ Red Barron** · 09-12-2009, 06:11 AM

In this case, the loaded soon-to-be hubby (or someone besides you) needs to foot the bill.

The way I see it, if a friend of mine wants me to travel to their destination wedding and wear certain attire, they will either provide all things needed to make this happen or they will receive a gift in the mail while I enjoy my weekend not at their wedding.