Love or Happiness?

**zbizkit** · 03-09-2007, 05:43 AM

I have recently found my self in a conundrum. 24 hours ago my life was much simplier. I am dating a Hispanic girl and have been for several months. Things are going good. She cooks, cleans, freak in the sheets!, anything to make me happy and she doesn't bitch. The only thing is that I have never been "crazy" about her. She doens't give me that filling inside. However we work great together and I know I could live a very happy life with out the intense love.

Now there is this white girl. I dated her several years ago and it was this most immediate feelings I have ever had for a girl. And the hottest girl I have ever dated including the hispanic girl. We dated for several months she said" she got scared" and just quit calling me. Several weeks ago this girl comes back in the picture, and almost and still possible rents the room I have for rent and then tells me she has a huge crush on me and that letting me go may have been a huge mistake. She pretty much told me I want you and am for the taking. Never had a girl that forward. But will she be there in another couple months on the other end of the phone.

Now I have a decision to make. Do I go with what could be ultimate love or do I go with the girl I know that I can make a great life with, and have minimal drama.

Lastly, I don't need "do what you want" kind of answers. I need profound wisdom and experience. Please Help. I am so fucked in the head.

**Spaz** · 03-09-2007, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by zbizkit

I have recently found my self in a conundrum. 24 hours ago my life was much simplier. I am dating a Hispanic girl and have been for several months. Things are going good. She cooks, cleans, freak in the sheets!, anything to make me happy and she doesn't bitch. The only thing is that I have never been "crazy" about her. She doens't give me that filling inside. However we work great together and I know I could live a very happy life with out the intense love.

Now there is this white girl. I dated her several years ago and it was this most immediate feelings I have ever had for a girl. And the hottest girl I have ever dated including the hispanic girl. We dated for several months she said" she got scared" and just quit calling me. Several weeks ago this girl comes back in the picture, and almost and still possible rents the room I have for rent and then tells me she has a huge crush on me and that letting me go may have been a huge mistake. She pretty much told me I want you and am for the taking. Never had a girl that forward. But will she be there in another couple months on the other end of the phone.

Now I have a decision to make. Do I go with what could be ultimate love or do I go with the girl I know that I can make a great life with, and have minimal drama.

Lastly, I don't need "do what you want" kind of answers. I need profound wisdom and experience. Please Help. I am so fucked in the head.

stay with the spanish girl... how do you know it will be the ultimate love? she has already put a scar on you from leaving you the first time... you will have issues with trust...

**SSwt00SS** · 03-09-2007, 06:11 AM

happiness turns into love. the other girl is just infatuation (want what you cant have). plus i'm sure she's coming back to you because she left someone else she was just with. we call those ISSUES...

you cannot compare the two or the feelings you have for both of them. they are two completely different women. the love you have for one, will never be the exact same kind of love you have for another. it's not possible...

stay with the current girl. the other girl left you once, and who's to say she won't do it again. sorry bub, her time has passed, and you just said you are happy with what you have. thing is, people are never happy with what they have. you have the chance to be, so make it happen...

**ls1blackbeauty98** · 03-09-2007, 06:29 AM

keep in mind the girl left you once. sounds like the spanish girl is a better match. true happiness is love in my opinion.

**zbizkit** · 03-09-2007, 06:32 AM

Listed below is our most recent transactions via myspace

ME (this morning)

I really never knew you had it in you to be so forward. If things ever did progress again beyond friendship there are several things we need to talk about. The thing that scares me the most is, we go out everything is great like before and the next day your not on the other end of the phone. I don't want to bring that up, I have completely forgave you for that, and I don't want to bring it up again. While Sandy may not make me get all "crazy" inside like you do, I do know that we work well together and she will be there tomorrow. I really need to know the HONEST truth on what happened last time and why this time would be different. I hope you think this is a fair question because I know this all sounds negative and I don't want it to be. I really like you and that is why I am trying to be so careful. I realize we aren't talking about marriage or anything but I don't like to walk blindly down a road. I like to plan ahead and know where I am going. To sum it all up "you go me fucked in the head"

How would you feel about hanging out this weekend?

BETH

Well I thought I would start fresh because I was tired of seeing Re:Re:Re:. I think that is def. a fair question and I would be saying the same thing. Like I said when we first talked, I was very immature then. I wasn't forward then either. I just know what I want now and I'm not scared to go for it. I think I just wanted to have fun then which I still do but in a different way. Sorry that this has got you all fucked up in the head but that is a good thing for me. Ehh? I understand you being careful BUT you don't have to be. I've grown up a lot since then. That sounded so corny.

btw I was reading your profile on who you would like to meet. I think that pretty much sums me up, yeah it does. Haha you met her silly.

About this weekend. I don't have any plans besides my brother, Alex's birthday dinner tonight. We could meet up for drinks or something after that. Or Saturday, it's up to you.

I feel bad about saying don't tell Sandy. I shouldn't have said that. You do what you think is right.

talk to you soon

**Spaz** · 03-09-2007, 06:39 AM

tell her you already gave her a chance... see how she reacts to it...

**SSwt00SS** · 03-09-2007, 06:41 AM

dude, you are about to make a mistake. do not see her this weekend, and stop communicating with her. get her out of your head. she is already causing DRAMA!!!

I WAS RIGHT, and she just told you, 'I WAS TIRED OF SEEING, blah, blah, blah'. Z, the point is she left this guy too. I know I'm on the outside looking in (which at times is a very helpful POV), but I see a pattern here, and it's not in your favor. Do what you want, but seeing her is only going to mess you up. I don't want that in fellow Ls1 brethern...

she is 'starting fresh' for her own selfish reasons. Everything you need to know to stay clear of the woman is all in her reply back to you. I hope you can at least see that. Besides anyone can read words and twist and form themselves to make it appear that they are what you're looking for...

also, why on earth would anyone say that fucking someone else up in the head is a good thing for them. the red flags are raised my friend. be smart and walk away...

she's already started 'mind fucking' you for a second time...

**Wulfe13** · 03-09-2007, 06:45 AM

I'd say stick with the hispanic girl (except their asses get huge after having a kid) this other one sounds like she could possibly be a little flaky (which can lead to "psycho").

**Wulfe13** · 03-09-2007, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

dude, you are about to make a mistake. do not see her this weekend, and stop communicating with her. get her out of your head. she is already causing DRAMA!!!

I WAS RIGHT, and she just told you, 'I WAS TIRED OF SEEING, blah, blah, blah'. Z, the point is she left this guy too. I know I'm on the outside looking in (which at times is a very helpful POV), but I see a pattern here, and it's not in your favor. Do what you want, but seeing her is only going to mess you up. I don't want that in fellow Ls1 brethern...

she is 'starting fresh' for her own selfish reasons. Everything you need to know to stay clear of the woman is all in her reply back to you. I hope you can at least see that. Besides anyone can read words and twist and form themselves to make it appear that they are what you're looking for...

VERY good point!

**zbizkit** · 03-09-2007, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

dude, you are about to make a mistake. do not see her this weekend, and stop communicating with her. get her out of your head. she is already causing DRAMA!!!

I WAS RIGHT, and she just told you, 'I WAS TIRED OF SEEING, blah, blah, blah'. Z, the point is she left this guy too. I know I'm on the outside looking in (which at times is a very helpful POV), but I see a pattern here, and it's not in your favor. Do what you want, but seeing her is only going to mess you up. I don't want that in fellow Ls1 brethern...

she is 'starting fresh' for her own selfish reasons. I hope you can at least see that. Besides anyone can read words and twist and form themselves to make it appear that they are what you're looking for...

I think you might be right about a lot. I know I am a idiot for seeing her but something inside of me tells me I have too. I don't want to mess things up with Sandy but I also don't want to be my whole life say what if. This is the beginning of me and Sandy's relationship. If I am going to give it a chance now would be the time right?

The "start fresh" she is referring to is the myspace page. if you keep replying it gets really long RE: RE: RE: every time you reply. It not referring to starting fresh with her.

**transamprincess98** · 03-09-2007, 06:47 AM

I'm gonna put this simply the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence.
You should not give up the woman like you have now. It is few and far between to find a compatible relationship. Don't let go of the good thing you have.

**ls1blackbeauty98** · 03-09-2007, 06:49 AM

if u do go out with this girl...tell the other girl! BE HONEST!. dont be a slimeball please... ive seen to many guys do that....

**zbizkit** · 03-09-2007, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by ls1blackbeauty98

if u do go out with this girl...tell the other girl! BE HONEST!. dont be a slimeball please... ive seen to many guys do that....

I completely agree. I am going to go out with her for a drink just to talk about things. I state: I will not let anything anything happen. If I want to continue to her other than friends I will speak with the other girl. Is that fair?

**nhraformula** · 03-09-2007, 06:53 AM

i say do um both.
one women doesnt need to know about the other.

**Spaz** · 03-09-2007, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by zbizkit

I completely agree. I am going to go out with her for a drink just to talk about things. I state: I will not let anything anything happen. If I want to continue to her other than friends I will speak with the other girl. Is that fair?

and if you want her to go away... tell her something like "i have full blown aids..."

**SSwt00SS** · 03-09-2007, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by zbizkit

I think you might be right about a lot. I know I am a idiot for seeing her but something inside of me tells me I have too. I don't want to mess things up with Sandy but I also don't want to be my whole life say what if. This is the beginning of me and Sandy's relationship. If I am going to give it a chance now would be the time right?

The "start fresh" she is referring to is the myspace page. if you keep replying it gets really long RE: RE: RE: every time you reply. It not referring to starting fresh with her.

Z, I'm gonna be flat out honest with you. I have never given a woman a 2nd chance. The one and only time I did, was with my psycho EX, and she took me on a ride that will affect me the rest of my life. She stood me up, and I gave her a second chance. I got involved with her to the point of almost losing my mind, job, my car. I gave her everything and she was never happy, only wanted more. The only woman I ever gave a second chance to, when she found out she was pregnant with my child, was to KILL IT. I had no say. Don't put yourself though it. I'm not saying what happened to me will happen to you, but you can only take so much for so long in regards to someone you love.

Yes, even after I ended it, we saw eachother for sex, but still thats empty. i have no communication with her anymore and i have moved on a a woman that makes me happy that i have feelings for that are nothing like I had towards my EX, and thats the way it's supposed to be. I am happy that i moved on. Now is your time to move on. you should have no more what ifs, she walked out of you. the kicker is, WHAT IF SHE WALKS OUT ON YOU AGAIN...

**SSwt00SS** · 03-09-2007, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

i say do um both.
one women doesnt need to know about the other.

that's cause youre bitter and all about the pussy...

j/k

**nhraformula** · 03-09-2007, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

that's cause youre bitter and all about the pussy...

j/k

im not bitter, just smarter.

im like the old bull that says to the younger one, why run down the hill to fuck a few of them, just walk down and fuck um all

life is alot more simple being single.

**ls1blackbeauty98** · 03-09-2007, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by zbizkit

I completely agree. I am going to go out with her for a drink just to talk about things. I state: I will not let anything anything happen. If I want to continue to her other than friends I will speak with the other girl. Is that fair?

that's fair, to see what u want have a drink with the girl... if it turns out you dont want to go any further with the relationship no harm done, if u want to start something tell the other girl. although speaking as a girl i'd be really hurt if i found out that my boyfriend went out for drinks with some girl to see if there's anything there.....it'd really piss me off too... n gotta watch them spanish girls they can get really angry

**zbizkit** · 03-09-2007, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by ls1blackbeauty98

that's fair, to see what u want have a drink with the girl... if it turns out you dont want to go any further with the relationship no harm done, if u want to start something tell the other girl. although speaking as a girl i'd be really hurt if i found out that my boyfriend went out for drinks with some girl to see if there's anything there.....it'd really piss me off too... n gotta watch them spanish girls they can get really angry

That is why I don't want to say anything yet. If nothing happens then she doesn't need to know and I don't want to hurt her. I realize its not the best of situations but I really don't think there is a better way to handle it.