To Kill a Mockingbird

[Sarge]

Dayum Mockingbird was retarded or something. I dunno. Had a fascination with looking into the glass and slamming his head into it. Not once or twice. But for hours. So this stupid shit bird would set on this vine and slam his head into the window glass in the living room. Annoying as hell. I would go run him off and would not even get back in the house and he was back at it again.
Then the dumb sum bitch discovered my truck and my daughters cars. He would set on the side mirrors and bang his head into the glass. Of course shit was all over the mirrors and the side of the truck/car.
So the sun had barely came up this morning ( I dont walk down the drive to get the paper until I can see. Rattlers lay out on the blacktop at night this time of year) and went down to get the paper. There that sum bitch was. On my truck side mirror banging his head and of course shit all over the side of my freshly washed truck. Mother fucker you die. Now I'm in my robe with my skivies.....I come in....get my .22 with the scope.....go back outside ( I'm pissed)....walk right up to him and he flies up on a fence post....now my rope thingy on my robe has come undone and it is open...so there I am...in my driveway with my robe open aiming at this stupid sum bitch and I shoot his ass. Good riddance and have fun riding the little bus in heaven you sum bitch.
I come back in. Forget all about it and the phone rings. Sherrifs department. Everything OK out there Mr. Sarge. Yup sez I. Well a school bus driver with a bus load of kids happened to be driving by your place and all the kids report a old man in his underwear with a rifle walking around your place. Thought we may need to call you. Told him I'd keep a keen out for the old fool and let him know if I saw him

[jambofla]

Dayum Mockingbird was retarded or something. I dunno. Had a fascination with looking into the glass and slamming his head into it. Not once or twice. But for hours. So this stupid shit bird would set on this vine and slam his head into the window glass in the living room. Annoying as hell. I would go run him off and would not even get back in the house and he was back at it again.
Then the dumb sum bitch discovered my truck and my daughters cars. He would set on the side mirrors and bang his head into the glass. Of course shit was all over the mirrors and the side of the truck/car.
So the sun had barely came up this morning ( I dont walk down the drive to get the paper until I can see. Rattlers lay out on the blacktop at night this time of year) and went down to get the paper. There that sum bitch was. On my truck side mirror banging his head and of course shit all over the side of my freshly washed truck. Mother fucker you die. Now I'm in my robe with my skivies.....I come in....get my .22 with the scope.....go back outside ( I'm pissed)....walk right up to him and he flies up on a fence post....now my rope thingy on my robe has come undone and it is open...so there I am...in my driveway with my robe open aiming at this stupid sum bitch and I shoot his ass. Good riddance and have fun riding the little bus in heaven you sum bitch.
I come back in. Forget all about it and the phone rings. Sherrifs department. Everything OK out there Mr. Sarge. Yup sez I. Well a school bus driver with a bus load of kids happened to be driving by your place and all the kids report a old man in his underwear with a rifle walking around your place. Thought we may need to call you. Told him I'd keep a keen out for the old fool and let him know if I saw him

Sounds familiar but the bastards are our State Bird
Probably end up in the local jail if I get caught

[Sarge]

State Bird here also man. Fuck his retarded ass. Let him go bang his head on the Governors windows.

[JoshieDoom]

I would have used a shotgun but thats me

[Sarge]

Daughter was still asleep .22 goes pop my shotgun goes BOOM

[jambofla]

State Bird here also man. Fuck his retarded ass. Let him go bang his head on the Governors windows.

You definately have a way with words

[TempleU_WS6]

You showed him. I dont think he'll be back anytime soon. Just make sure no one buried him in the Pet Cemetery.

[pajeff02]

Out and about at the crack of dawn hunting song birds with a rifle while semi-naked... and I thought all the weirdos lived here in Pennsylvania.

[Pony_Eater]

we have parrots here at my school and they are the most obnoxious lil fags ever!!!! ive had mocking birds on top of my house b4 but these things are bad!!! Iwas home the other weekend and saw my pellet gun in my closet and thought that it would be perfect for snipin some parrots so i brought it back to school.mind you there are no guns allowed on campus lol...so i climp atop this ice plant hill one evening and hide behind some bushes and waited for the parrots to fly in and nest in the palm trees in front of my dorm..as soon as the 1st one landed i tagged him and he dropped!! i was so excited i ran down the hill chucked my gun in my window and went to check it out...it wasnt even closed to being dead lol and i couldnt grab it to break its next cuz its beak hurts!! and i couldnt bring my gun to where it landed cuz people would see and get me in trouble so i had to just leave it there to suffer...i felt bad at first but then no at all cuz i remembered all the times i was woken up by this queerbait bird at the crack of dawn lol hahaha




so sarge I feel ya man lol

[GTP231]

[Smkn_TA]

Yeah, we had a cardinal that seen his reflection in our windows and banged into them all day long. I got him with the pellet gun.

[zmg00camaross]

Hope that bAstard didn't reproduce and make more retards

[c5z28]

Damn when you come back you come back w/ a bang Should have told them the bird was going after the worm and you shot in self defense.

[jaslivers]

i thought you were dead sarge

[levityinc3]

Good kill.

[toi tyme]

poor old bird.....






the bird, i am talking about the bird.

[SS02]

I am thinking BarBQ!

[bluefields88]

I'd do the same thing.

[Sarge]

i thought you were dead sarge

Not yet but aint no guarantee. Just really busy with the companies man.

[third_shift|studios]

that was great...thanks for the mid-week laugh!