Just venting i guess

[Daniel P.]

So i am over at my girlfriends house tonight, we have been dating 10 months she is 17 I am 20 and everything is cool we are watching tv in the front room with her cousin who is visiting from out of town when she realizes she is out of hay by her horses pole barn. They keep the hay in the barn and only take a few bales down at a time to keep it out of the weather. she tells me she doesn't want to ask her dad to do it cause its late 9:00 and he works 6am to 6pm, so i tell her i will help her do it, she is 5' 11" maybe 120lbs its hard for her to lift a bale onto the fourwheeler, but she says no i will ask him. well she asks him and told him its hard for her to lift the bales. It wouldn't really be a big deal cause he would have been going out for a smoke in 10 minutes or so anyway but he says "and you are asking my this now, its kinda late" in a shitty tone and she did what any teenage girl would do got pissed yelled at him that she will do it and stormed out of the house. well her mom was in her parents bedroom and heard the commotion came out just as my girlfriends dad was following my girlfriend outside to do it and chew her ass, well her mom catches up to her dad and slaps him. tells he says she should have asked him sooner she yelled something back he came in the house and told me to leave. I went out to my vehicle and grabbed my gloves to help my girlfriend before i left. She wouldn't let me help her and barely got one bale on the fourwheeler and had jus started the fourwheeler when her dad came in the barn and told her he would do it she said no so he reached and took the key out of the fourwheeler and her mom walked in so we left and i told her i was told to leave that I love her and she needed to let me know how things go.

so i'm halfway home and get a text from her that her mom told her that her parents are getting a divorce because my girlfriend and her dad can't get along and its all her fault.

ok to clarify this is her stepdad that has already raised two kids and divorced then married her mom when my gf was 6 or 7

I can see her dads side as
he works really hard to keep those girls happy and they pretty much run the house, however they love him for it

I can see my girlfriends side as she is a teenager and thats how they are, she asked nice she knew he would be upset but he pushed it to far, now she is getting the blame for the divorce talk she is super mad at herself cause she is being blamed and she has closed herself off to me like she does when she is upset

I can't see her moms side something else had to have led up to this,

I just don't know what to do, i know its not my family but they seem like family at this point because i get along with them very well and my girlfriend and I are very serious about this relationship. I want to be with her right now but i know that would just make her mad at me, she hates to show any weakness. I am tempted to talk to her dad but i don't want to appear to take sides, I thought about telling her to apologize but she is in that pissed off stage right now and would never do that besides what does she apologize for?

what is my role in this? stand back and let whatever happen happen and help my girlfriend through it that seems logical but i don't know i really don't

[KahanaReef]

I think that's pretty much it. Stand back and let whatever happens, happen. Help your girlfriend through it and basically, just offer support.

Getting involved with family issues may just cause more problems in the long run when the dust settles. Stay neutral if you think you may have a future with this girl. But, let her know you're on her side...

[The Manalishi]

I think that's pretty much it. Stand back and let whatever happens, happen. Help your girlfriend through it and basically, just offer support.

Getting involved with family issues may just cause more problems in the long run when the dust settles. Stay neutral if you think you may have a future with this girl. But, let her know you're on her side...

Wiser words have not been spoken. Plus she's a woman so she understands this crap better than any of us guys could. Men are fixers to a fault, don't try to fix it, you can't. Good luck man.

[Bigrus]

So i am over at my girlfriends house tonight, we have been dating 10 months she is 17 I am 20 and everything is cool we are watching tv in the front room with her cousin who is visiting from out of town when she realizes she is out of hay by her horses pole barn. They keep the hay in the barn and only take a few bales down at a time to keep it out of the weather. she tells me she doesn't want to ask her dad to do it cause its late 9:00 and he works 6am to 6pm, so i tell her i will help her do it, she is 5' 11" maybe 120lbs its hard for her to lift a bale onto the fourwheeler

She should not own horses then. I have met many females the same size and age who care for their horses and if they are unable to do so they lose them. Also i woudl have killed for my dad to let me use a fourwheeler.

It wouldn't really be a big deal cause he would have been going out for a smoke in 10 minutes or so anyway but he says "and you are asking my this now, its kinda late" in a shitty tone and she did what any teenage girl would do got pissed yelled at him that she will do it and stormed out of the house.

He works 12 hour days she had no right to be upset. Yes its a big deal to do her chores. You work 2 hours and see how you feel. Last i checked having a smoke break does not mean you are ready to work.

well her mom catches up to her dad and slaps him.

Worthless, and uncalled for i hope he owns the property and boot them.

ok to clarify this is her stepdad that has already raised two kids and divorced then married her mom when my gf was 6 or 7

Horrible mistake on his end. Its obvious the daughter stands between them and acts a victim when she is wrong.

I can see her dads side as
he works really hard to keep those girls happy and they pretty much run the house, however they love him for it

Not enough to do their own chores after he pulls 12 hours, and not enough to not slap him infront of strangers.

s, I thought about telling her to apologize but she is in that pissed off stage right now and would never do that besides what does she apologize for?

For yelling at him for doing her chores, for letting her mother slap a human who makes their lives easy, for degrading him infront of you.

what is my role in this? stand back and let whatever happen happen and help my girlfriend through it that seems logical but i don't know i really don't

Lets do it in steps.

1. Do not date bratty 17 year olds.

2. Stay out of it and tell her you refuse to come over until she apologizes and does her own work.

3. Never wait to be asked to leave when you see a family fighting. Unless you are married or living there you excuse yourself and walk out LIKE A BOSS.

[DUBB]

stay the hell out of it, if averages play right you wont be with her in 2 years anyways. no worries shit happens, no need for you to step in

[rbob93]

Well I think Bigrus pretty much nailed it right on the head.

Also.....if you marry this little girl, this is what life with her is going to be like.....you sure you want to be treated like her step dad?

[JoshieDoom]

Im going to warn you now, dated a girl for 4 years and her stepdad ruined it for me. I would stay outta the situation.

[PhillyLs1]

how's that statutory rape thing coming along?

[GTP231]

how's that statutory rape thing coming along?

[JHayesLS1]

Listen to me.
Look at her mom, and how she is. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

Run now, Thank later.

[davidz28guy]

how's that statutory rape thing coming along?

most states 16 is the age of consent, after that as long as there is no more than a 3 year difference in age it is not considered statutory rape, every state is different though, but i dont think he has anything to worry about

[86 IROC-Z]

I can see my girlfriends side as she is a teenager and thats how they are,

Yeah, that's how they are, great excuse.


Tell your girlfriend to stop being such a stupid god damned bitch.

[DrMilhouse]

Lets do it in steps.

1. Do not date bratty 17 year olds.

2. Stay out of it and tell her you refuse to come over until she apologizes and does her own work.

There's a TOTAL difference between being "at someone's side" and "on someone's side".

You can be there for her all you like. I wasn't there, the whole thing was kinda crappy I think on everyone's part.

I think it was shitty of her not to let you help and to drag her dad into it in the first place.

Women are fucking crazy anyway. You're with a 17 year old, which is just going to make it crazier.

Now... on to this divorce BS....

She's almost 18 - she'll be out of the house soon there-after I'm sure.

They're not getting a divorce because of her. They're both not able to work out their own differences and are making her a scapegoat. Really shitty of them. Really shitty.

Now, with that being said, she could probably TRY a little harder to make things work with her and the step-dad. Starting with taking some ownership for how things went crappy last night.

She's a teen-ager so that's just what they do... BULLSHIT!

If I treated ANY adult with any sort of disrespect like that when I was 17, my mother would have pwned me for sure. Teenagers don't "have" to be a certain way. She picks how she responds and that's what she goes with. Just because she's 17 doesn't give her the right (or responsibility) to be shitty to her parents or anyone else. If she really IS at the cause of her parents divorce, she can really start to repair the relationship by doing her part to be cause in them staying together.

As for the statuatory thing... you're 20, she's 17. I see nothing terribly wrong with that. You're barely not a teenager and she still is.

[67CamaroRSSS]

AAG. We know drama.....

[DrMilhouse]

Yeah, that's how they are, great excuse.


Tell your girlfriend to stop being such a stupid god damned bitch.

+1

That's kinda what I said, he just said it with fewer words.

[Stone]

Listen to me.
Look at her mom, and how she is. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

Run now, Thank later.

Thats why I broke up with my last girl. She was the type to yell first and talk later. I figure it was just because she was young and she would end up growing out of it. Then I thought about it.....her dad is EXACTLY like that and he was 41. So I dumped her. That wasnt a chance I was willing to take. I understand where your coming from.

But yea I would take KahanaReefs advice.

[00LS12LS6Z28]

Sounds like a true soap opera. Wish her the best and move on.....Get a chick that can by you beer legally!

[Y2KArcticSS]

AAG. We know drama.....

[bmyers]

i have nothing to say....theres a response of every kind already

[FORD RECOVERY EXPERT]

AAG. We know drama.....