Jokes Keep Em Coming!

**OnEbAdReDSS** · 01-22-2008, 11:42 AM

A guy asks a beautiful girl: "Can i buy you a Drink?"

Girls says : "No thanks alcohol's bad for my legs."

Guy replies : "oh do they swell"

Girls answers : "No they Spread"

**Nastyfoot** · 01-22-2008, 11:54 AM

Here's an oldie but goody. I've posted it here before.

Oprah goes to the doctors with a cold, so the doctor says to Oprah, "Take off all of your clothes and get up on the table and spread your legs".

Oprah thinks to herself about that then asks the doctor why she has to undress for a cold.

The doctor says to her, "I wanna see what my house would look like painted black with pink shutters".

**Zapper2003** · 01-22-2008, 01:34 PM

What's more romantic than two roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

**JwMonE99** · 01-22-2008, 03:09 PM

Ehh so far I didnt really understand any of them lol

**02ultraZ** · 01-22-2008, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by JwMonE99

Ehh so far I didnt really understand any of them lol

dude. wow. heres one for you then.

What are mario and luigi's pants made out of?

deni nena nenim.

**2MuchFun** · 01-22-2008, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Zapper2003

What's more romantic than two roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

**86 IROC-Z** · 01-22-2008, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by 2MuchFun

Two lips, mang

**JwMonE99** · 01-22-2008, 03:41 PM

lol ok now i get the tulips one but the rest are still huh?

**86 IROC-Z** · 01-22-2008, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by JwMonE99

lol ok now i get the tulips one but the rest are still huh?

The first one, the girl says alcohol is bad for her legs, the guy thinks she has an allergic reaction to it and asks if they swell up, but she says her legs spread, meaning move apart to alow access for a guy to do whatever he wants, meaning shes a slut that gets drunk and gets around.

**86 IROC-Z** · 01-22-2008, 03:45 PM

The second, Oprah is big and fat... and they're all pink on the inside

**Zapper2003** · 01-22-2008, 03:48 PM

..and her vagina is as big as a house...a black house..with pink shutters..

**dag711** · 01-22-2008, 05:56 PM

a woman and her husband r in bed and the husband has a habit of farting loud smeely farts right before he goes to sleep, 1 night is wife tells him " you know one day you are goying to fart your guts out". well the husband kept farting . next day the wife goes and buys 2 pounds of hog guts and when the husband falls asleep she positions the guts right across from his ass and goes to sleep. next morning she wakes up and the guts r not in the bed. then the husband wakes up and tells her "you know honey you were right last night i farted my guts out. but thanks to the grace of God and these 2 fingers i was able to shove them back in "

**blue02Z** · 01-22-2008, 06:14 PM

there was a gorgeous lady at a bar one nite. this dude comes up and says,"your legs are so nice" she says, "k thanks, but i'm taken." he sits down and drinks a beer. 10 minutes later he goes back up to her,"you have real nice breasts, i want to feel them." she says, "leave me alone you pig! i am gonna get my boyfriend and he is huge!" he sits back down and drinks another beer. 10 minutes later he walks back up to her and says,"i wanna fill your vagina with beer and drink it out of you!" she says,"thats it!!!" and calls her boyfriend over. over comes this big son of a bitch and says "whats goin on over here?" the girl says,"he told me i have nice legs" - he rolls up one sleeve. then she tells him, "he told me i have real nice breasts and he wants to feel them"- the boyfriend rolls up the other sleeve. then she says "he told me he wants to fill my vagina with beer and drink it outta me!!" the boyfriend rolls down both sleeves. she says "WTF are you doing? arent you gonna beat him up?" the boyfriend says "i respect any man that can drink that much beer"