joke...

[ss~zoso~ss]

in light of spaz's lame joke

here's the joke of the day off ebaums

Big And Dumb

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

[Blitzed]

[burnws6]

anything good in the sports section?

[ss~zoso~ss]

[SexOnWheels]

How many joke threads do we have atm?

Common terms and how they came about

In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image

was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington

showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while

others showed both legs and both arms.



Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were

to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs

are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.



Hence the expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."



As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a

year ! (May and Oct.)



Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads

(because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good

wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they

would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it

for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the

term "big wig."



Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because

someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.



In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with

only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall,

and was used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the

chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.



Occasionally, a guest, usually a man, would be invited to sit in

this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important

and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man."



Today in business, we use the expression or title "Chairman" or

"Chairman of the Board."



Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result,

many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would

spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions.

When they were speaking to each other, if a woman stared at another

woman's face she was told, "Mind your own bee's wax."



Should the woman smile, the wax would crack; hence the term

"crack a smile" In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax

would melt. Therefore, the expression "losing face."



Ladies wore corsets, which were laced up in the front A proper

and dignified woman, as in "straight laced" . . . wore a tightly laced

corset.



Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a

tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace

of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards

instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were

thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full

deck."



Early politicians needed feedback from the public to determine

what issues the people thought were important. Since there were no

telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to

local taverns, pubs, and bars.



They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's

conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at

different times: "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The words "go"

and "sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion

and, thus we have the term "gossip."



At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and

quart-sized containers. The bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the

customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and

remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts";

hence the term "minding your "P's and Q's."



One more: bet you didn't know this!



In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters

carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls.

It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However,

a problem was, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?

The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with

one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on

sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small

area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to

prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others.



The solution was a metal plate called a "monkey" with 16 round

indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls

would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make

"brass monkeys".



Few land lubbers realize that brass, contracts much more and much

faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped

too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron

cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite

literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a "brass monkey."

[ss~zoso~ss]

Sparknotes please

[eddierox]

What do you get when you cross the sun with the moon?

An Eclipse.

[86 IROC-Z]

haha all that stuff was pretty good