I think I saw a monkey

mwhbossman1983 · 06-16-2006, 06:07 AM

Well I think it was a monkey, was monkey looking.............It crossed in front of me and I had to do a double look, but then it was gone into the woods.

. Its either it was early and I was half awake or I saw a monkey, I wonder if someone lost a pet

**98-LS1** · 06-16-2006, 06:54 AM

They need to spank their monkey for being bad and running away

**Spaz** · 06-16-2006, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by 98-LS1

They need to spank their monkey for being bad and running away

spank it till it bleeds.... and then spank it for bleeding...

**Trouble maker** · 06-16-2006, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by The Real Spaz

spank it till it bleeds.... and then spank it for bleeding...

and then...spank your monkey for good measure!

**third_shift|studios** · 06-16-2006, 07:07 AM

Omg!

mwhbossman1983 · 06-16-2006, 07:09 AM

**98-LS1** · 06-16-2006, 10:51 AM

Wasn't expecting a spank the monkey thread were you

**Motrv8d Steve** · 06-16-2006, 11:57 AM

go ahead, spank it!

**98-LS1** · 06-16-2006, 03:59 PM

mwhbossman1983 · 06-16-2006, 06:14 PM

**norm43a** · 06-16-2006, 06:35 PM

How about this monkey.

**Modulistic** · 06-16-2006, 06:36 PM

heres a true short story I wrote about monkeys.

monkeys

Driving around loop 410 in San Antonio takes you on a circuit path around the city. Think of it like a clock, if you drive from 12 oclock to 6, you can pass from the good side of town to the old side of town to the poor side of town. coming up to 9 oclock you pass through the military side of town to the bad side of town and back to the good side of town.
Right at about 8:00, at the division between military side and bad side are huge cages shaped like wigwams. Wigwams, we learned in 5th grade, were the long half cylinder shaped structures native americans would build to live in their partial nomadic lifestyle. When I say huge think of football fields long and wide.
This wigwam didnt hold indians, though. This Wigwam held monkeys. Billions of Rhesus macaque monkeys to be specific. Its a place called Southwest Research, I guess because they would research on the monkeys and I guess because its on the southwest side of town. Maybe because its the southwest area of the country. I didnt care. All I cared about was getting off the bus to watch captain planet and saved by the bell.

It was the middle of summer, and in San Antonio, that means you count the consecutive days of above 100 degree weather. I got home and flipped on the TV and went to the kitchen to get something to drink out of the fridge, because I had sweat all the moisture out of my body on the drive home. I poured a huge glass of koolaid and started to take a big drink. Thats what made me look out the back window.
There were monkeys in my backyard. About half a dozen I saw climbing over the fence. My dog saw them too because she began barking, and I dont blame her because I too would be freaked out too if half a dozen monkeys entering my personal space. Getting all up in my grill. She chased a few around the yard, but they were too fast, and they worked in teams, one would pull her tail and she would spin around and the other ones would run up and slap her ass, hard enough to spin her to the ground. She chased some up a tree and they would taunt her by climbing around the trunk of the tree, staying just out of her sight and reach. Another monkey team would take turns dropping out of the tree onto her back where they would box her ears and make her yelp and retreat back to the porch where she would build up some courage and make another assault on the regiment of primates that had invaded the back yard.
One monkey shat in her dog house and smeared feces all over the inside of the roof of the dog house. The monkey thought it was hilarious and screamed with pleasure. I was later delegated to clean the dog house. Another group of monkeys had gotten into the dog dish and were eating kibble from the dish. This was completely unacceptable to my dog and she set about to make them cease and desist. The monkeys stood fast and just slapped her in the face when she would charge. They started tempting her with some of her food. They would throw the food to her and she would eat it and she would get closer and closer until she would almost take food out of their hand until the monkey closest to her would slap the shit out of her right in the face.
The monkeys thought it was a hilarious joke and pretty soon all the monkeys in the yard had gathered around the food and were tempting Sheba time and time again. 5 times she went back and the monkeys slapped her senseless every time. Kinda like pavlovs dog. Except the drool got slapped out of her face instead of stimulated.
My stepdad ran all the monkeys off with a broom and Sheba was ok but kinda dazed. She never was the same after that. kinda skittish.
All the monkeys were eventually rounded up and accounted for.