I need to know what to do...

**Neo** · 07-01-2007, 09:03 PM

Okay, I know I don't post here much, but I'm a big time lurker. I wouldnt post unless it meant a lot for me.

But, guys, I'm at a loss here. I just DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Everywhere else i post, I know the guys pretty well, so I'd get some ridicule for even thinking what I'm about to say. But what can i do? I need advice, and I need it bad. So down to business...

I've liked this girl for wayyy too long. Almost 5 years...Everything about her I'm crazy about. From her long blonde hair to those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes, theres just nothing I see thats wrong with her. I can't even take a bad word against her, I flip out on anyone who does. We went to school together, but I liked her from afar for a long time. We got pretty close the past 6 months or so, since we've been working together. Close enough to call each other friends, but not more. We don't hang out because the people I chill with don't like her (PM me if you want to hear that drama).

So I was okay being just friends with her for the time being. Any kind of close is great after liking her that long. I love to just sit down with her and laugh at some jokes, hang out, that kinda thing. I never even thought about having sex with her. I know, it's weird, and don't get me wrong, I'm a horndog. But the most I ever thought about with her was just holding hands, kissing, the small stuff, you know?

I don't know why, but thinking about her gets my heart racing. And that's just it, I think about her ALL the time. I'd go way out of my way in school just so she'd say hi to me, and every time she'd say my name, it'd make my day. I could be in the shittiest mood ever, but hearing her say my name made everything better.

So yeah, I'm in love with this girl. And now I'll hardly ever see her again. She put in her two weeks notice on saturday, and she'll take another job at the mall. I'm happy for her, our place of employment is a shithole. But her quitting means I'll almost never get to see her again. Sure, she'll come to the store and say hi once in a while, but no more long talks, no more making her smile...Whenever I think about it it rips another hole in my heart. I seriously almost broke down crying in the store today. I think about her that much, and I care about her so badly.

I want her to be happy, and she does have a boyfriend right now, so I can't just ask her out. I NEED to be able to see her. This pain hurts so bad, it seems I want to throw myself off a building sometimes. But I also know that if this pain is the only connection I could have with her, then that's what I want.

So what do I do? I'm not going to ask her out, I have my ideals, and it would be classless for me to just ask her to dump her boyfriend, so I'm not doing that. But I NEED to do something. Do I tell her how I feel? I think it might scare her...so do I tell her I have feelings for her or what? Sorry for the essay but I'm just so damn lost, I can't take the heartache of never seeing her again.

Sorry again. So my question: What do I do? I need big time help.

**MechanicalMehem** · 07-01-2007, 10:20 PM

Do nothing, just try to keep the friendship alive. Dont push or pull just keep the status quo for the moment, after she breaks up with her b/f tell her how you feel and let her have some space for her to reflect on how she wants to respond. Dont put pressure on her, It WILL drive her from you! I know it sucks, just keep up with her and go "out" as friends so that you can catch up on the chit chat. Who knows maybe shell tell him it is over, hell for that matter her being away from you may allow her to reallize how much she enjoys your company. Man I really can relate to how you feel, I've never been able to approach a girl I liked either. Never been the rejection that was my problem, just the initial asking. Now, back to you, leave it be, dont push her or you will freak her out. She does need to know how you feel, but now is obviously not the right time. Just try to keep up with her as friends and give it a few months. She how her current relationship goes you never know like I said before. She may have feelings for you as well but is just as afraid of voicing them as you are....
just my .02
-Justin

**zero_proto** · 07-02-2007, 03:13 AM

I was once in that situation my friend. I used to love this girl so much that when i would talk to her my heart would rush into my throat and it was hard to talk. Me and her were in a military school together for over a year, and came time that we went our own ways because we were done. The whole time there she had been dating this pretty boy, but i knew i had to tell her how i felt. So one night i told her how i felt. I poured my heart out but not in a desperate way i just let her know, i did not even ask her how she felt about me. She could not believe it, she was shocked. I told her i would love to be her friend still. Also i never told her anything about her boyfriend or how much better i would be, i just told her how i felt. We parted ways and one day she called me while i was driving my 69 camaro and we had a little argument, so i spun the car out and hung up. (this was on a four lane road at night.) So a week or so passed and one day i was leaving my ship and she called me and told me to wait for her in the parking lot and in a few minutes she showed up. She told me how she broke up with Joe and that she also loved me, and was sorry for the argument. I can go more into details, but we kissed hugged and we were together for quite some time. We are not together but we still write eachother often. It was good.
Don't be scared to tell her how you feel, but that is it nothing more than that.
I hope this helps just a bit.

-Rodzilla tha Cavity Filla (Izzy)

**zero_proto** · 07-04-2007, 03:06 AM

so whats the status?

**ReBop** · 07-04-2007, 05:02 AM

Don't do anything but lose your attachment and obsession for her and let her go in your mind and heart.

If you love something, let it go. If it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.

**Marc 85Z28** · 07-04-2007, 05:24 AM

Take some initiative!

I would walk up to her and tell her I just heard about the 2 weeks notice. Then tell her she can't quit because you'll miss her. Tell her that you've enjoyed what little time you've had together and that you would like to get to know her better - without sounding creepy, be genuine. You'll be a little nervous, and make sure she sees that. Pause and let her say something, or suggest going out sometime "just to hang out" (go out BEFORE she quits!). Let her make the next move. Grow some balls and tell her how you feel without going into depth like you did here - keep it simple and genuine, otherwise you'll let her go and it will haunt you for years. At least if she shuts you down you will have some closure...

**Zapper2003** · 07-04-2007, 05:45 AM

It never works out in the end, sad truth right there. I've come to the conclusion in these situations, i'll have better luck getting with the lady if i drive off a cliff. Sorry!

..but good luck!

BadBlueBird* · 07-04-2007, 06:04 AM

This could end badly. Someone said the word obsession and I think they were right.

May I ask your age..

**SexOnWheels** · 07-04-2007, 06:15 AM

Stop lurking and hiding your feelings.

Too much stealth time for you to come clean and just tell her how you feel.

If you could finally post here again you can finally tell this girl your feelings...

**sgt0704** · 07-04-2007, 07:14 PM

hey, you only live once. So instead of being the guy, sitting at the end of the bar, wishing you had said something, be the guy that Says something, and sits at the end of the bar with the lady.

you never know, she may be wondering when the fuck you're going to tell her how you feel. she may feel the same. just hasn't had a reason to dump her boyfriend.

hell, i even say, tell her what you wrote up there. she'll either find you creepy, or dig you.. there's only one way to find out..

**1fastcamarosss11** · 07-04-2007, 07:30 PM

send her this link, she will let you know something.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 07-04-2007, 07:49 PM

The only thing you can do in your situation if you want to get in her pants(or a relationship

) is to be the best. Be in the best shape of your life, have the best tan, have the best personality, dress the best that you can. Yea it seems shallow but that's how chics are...no matter what they say.

IMO you have to make her want you as much as possible...which is a no brainer. She'll either come to you because she can't stand it or worst case scenerio you'll at least be more tempting for her if you ever tell her how you feel.

Bottom line is you're doing something wrong otherwise you'd be the one fucking her...think about what it is and fix it.

**zero_proto** · 07-04-2007, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by sgt0704

hey, you only live once. So instead of being the guy, sitting at the end of the bar, wishing you had said something, be the guy that Says something, and sits at the end of the bar with the lady.

you never know, she may be wondering when the fuck you're going to tell her how you feel. she may feel the same. just hasn't had a reason to dump her boyfriend.

hell, i even say, tell her what you wrote up there. she'll either find you creepy, or dig you.. there's only one way to find out..

i agree. It has always worked for me, but i am on the handsome side.

don't sit back and regret that.

**SexOnWheels** · 07-06-2007, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by zero_proto

i agree. It has always worked for me, but i am on the handsome side.

don't sit back and regret that.

^^

So what happened Neo? Give us an update....

**GetSome04** · 07-06-2007, 06:49 AM

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

The only thing you can do in your situation if you want to get in her pants(or a relationship

) is to be the best. Be in the best shape of your life, have the best tan, have the best personality, dress the best that you can. Yea it seems shallow but that's how chics are...no matter what they say.

IMO you have to make her want you as much as possible...which is a no brainer. She'll either come to you because she can't stand it or worst case scenerio you'll at least be more tempting for her if you ever tell her how you feel.

Bottom line is you're doing something wrong otherwise you'd be the one fucking her...think about what it is and fix it.

thats what im sayin

its not what you like its the consumer

**slim420832002** · 07-12-2007, 12:35 PM

grow some balls and tell her how u feel. she probably already knows it most ppl that r good friends can tell. she might feel the same. ur not in this game for someone else to take someone from u and u just watch. ull never get anything done in life if u dont go after wat u want.

QUIT HOLDIN BACK AND TELL HER HOW U FEEL.

**Neo** · 07-12-2007, 01:41 PM

Seriously, I haven't read this at all since I posted it. For those of you who contributed, thanks, it means a lot.

NO WAY am I obsessed. I've dated and had feelings for other girls while I've had feelings for her, and the love I feel for her is pretty fresh. It's not like I've stalked her for five frigging years. She's just always been there at the back of my mind. And damn if I don't have balls! I've asked her out before, and she's said yes, but I always had to cancel (maybe fate doesnt want us together, whatever).

I went with the route the first two-three guys to post said so. On our last day working together we talked for about 5 hours or so, it was fun. I didn't tell her how I felt about her, and if I did there's NO fucking way I'd jeopardize what we've got now and tell her what I've told you. Hell, if we were DATING I wouldn't say half that stuff.

After that day we spent together I know now that she appreciates my friendship as much as I do. Neither of us will let our relationship die. Even though she had her last day on tuesday, we know we'll see each other again. For christsakes, she lives twenty seconds away!

So I'll be fine....I'm gonna ask out this chick thats been practically all over me since i started working there, and maybe that'll go somewhere. She isn't as attractive as the other girl, but she seems like a nice girl, so I'll give her a shot. I'll always have feelings for this girl, but I'll move on.

Thanks again, boys. But don't let this kill the thread! If you got something to say, say it! I'm going to try and make myself better known here, and this thread was a hell of a start.

**FuxOnTheFirstDate** · 07-12-2007, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by Neo

Okay, I know I don't post here much, but I'm a big time lurker. I wouldnt post unless it meant a lot for me.

But, guys, I'm at a loss here. I just DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Everywhere else i post, I know the guys pretty well, so I'd get some ridicule for even thinking what I'm about to say. But what can i do? I need advice, and I need it bad. So down to business...

I've liked this girl for wayyy too long. Almost 5 years...Everything about her I'm crazy about. From her long blonde hair to those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes, theres just nothing I see thats wrong with her. I can't even take a bad word against her, I flip out on anyone who does. We went to school together, but I liked her from afar for a long time. We got pretty close the past 6 months or so, since we've been working together. Close enough to call each other friends, but not more. We don't hang out because the people I chill with don't like her (PM me if you want to hear that drama).

So I was okay being just friends with her for the time being. Any kind of close is great after liking her that long. I love to just sit down with her and laugh at some jokes, hang out, that kinda thing. I never even thought about having sex with her. I know, it's weird, and don't get me wrong, I'm a horndog. But the most I ever thought about with her was just holding hands, kissing, the small stuff, you know?

I don't know why, but thinking about her gets my heart racing. And that's just it, I think about her ALL the time. I'd go way out of my way in school just so she'd say hi to me, and every time she'd say my name, it'd make my day. I could be in the shittiest mood ever, but hearing her say my name made everything better.

So yeah, I'm in love with this girl. And now I'll hardly ever see her again. She put in her two weeks notice on saturday, and she'll take another job at the mall. I'm happy for her, our place of employment is a shithole. But her quitting means I'll almost never get to see her again. Sure, she'll come to the store and say hi once in a while, but no more long talks, no more making her smile...Whenever I think about it it rips another hole in my heart. I seriously almost broke down crying in the store today. I think about her that much, and I care about her so badly.

I want her to be happy, and she does have a boyfriend right now, so I can't just ask her out. I NEED to be able to see her. This pain hurts so bad, it seems I want to throw myself off a building sometimes. But I also know that if this pain is the only connection I could have with her, then that's what I want.

So what do I do? I'm not going to ask her out, I have my ideals, and it would be classless for me to just ask her to dump her boyfriend, so I'm not doing that. But I NEED to do something. Do I tell her how I feel? I think it might scare her...so do I tell her I have feelings for her or what? Sorry for the essay but I'm just so damn lost, I can't take the heartache of never seeing her again.

Sorry again. So my question: What do I do? I need big time help.

"Dude, you're in the friend zone." - Ryan Reynolds