Huge lulz: Tiger Woods texting Tool Academy Girl

[86 IROC-Z]

Thank god this dudes a billionare, he has no game

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can’t come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)

Jaimee: That’s okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see you

Tiger: We will make it happen

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone

Tiger: alone with him that is

Jaimee: haha I wish

Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)

Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy

Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months

Tiger: I need you

Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u

Tiger: I will wear you out soon

Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing

Tiger: really. Where

Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it … is on my cheek below my eye … implanted a little diamond

Tiger: send it again. I didn’t pick up on that

Tiger: you just need some attention from me

Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)

Jaimee: I don’t even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend

Tiger: then I am

Jaimee: I wish

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)

Tiger: oh god

Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf

Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf

Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding

Tiger: I know sexy

Jaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)

Tiger: oh stop

Jaimee: hahaha I know … but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me … im finding myself watching sports center … haha j/k it isn’t that bad

Tiger: its never been that bad

Jaimee: very true … I only watch football

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.

Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself

Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u … the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn’t and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing

Tiger: you are wrong I’m bone thugs in harmon

Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)

Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport

Tiger: don’t text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

Tiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)

Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at work

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

Jaimee: haha ur too much

Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)

Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have.

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u

Tiger: Because I’m blasian

Tiger: I’m sorry babe. Im already home.

Jaimee: I’m putting my underwear back on … thats a no no … come take them off

Tiger: you are too funny

Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)

Jaimee: u too love

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/ran...aled/#comments

[310stanger]

girl is hot, i'll give her that.

He texts like a 21 yr old guy. isnt he like 35 now?

[korndawg]

Who doesn't wish they were Tiger Woods? Nearly a billionaire and keeping his pimp-hand strong.

[Mike97dakota]

thats gonna be one big divorce

[allbaugh_04]

so how did this get leaked?

[86 IROC-Z]

so how did this get leaked?

My guess is either the girl wanted more media attention since Tool Academy ended, or a phone company employee leaked them.

[Brian H Drifer]

at least tigers dryer is working.

[86 IROC-Z]

at least tigers dryer is working.

[Tonik]

No Game. Whatsoever.
If he made ~50k a year that conversation would have ended around line 5 or 7...

[Smkn_TA]

What is tool academy?

[allbaugh_04]

No Game. Whatsoever.
If he made ~50k a year that conversation would have ended around line 5 or 7...

His texting skills are kind of weak. I always thought he was a dork anyways though.

[86 IROC-Z]

What is tool academy?

A show on VH1 (I think) where girls send their douchebag boyfriends to live in a house all together and to be taught to be more nice and caring. The girls come on the show with them for counseling and to do activities together and what not. Just your basic lame elimination-based competition reality show.


However the best part was when, during one of the group counseling sessions with all the guys and their girlfriends, one of the douchebags get a surprise when his real girlfriend comes in the room, and she announces this fact to the room, and she tells his second "girlfriend" who bought him to the show to gtfo.

[Mean Green Z28]

he should've slipped in the "hey babe, when you gonna let me tap that"

[allbaugh_04]

A show on VH1 (I think) where girls send their douchebag boyfriends to live in a house all together and to be taught to be more nice and caring. The girls come on the show with them for counseling and to do activities together and what not. Just your basic lame elimination-based competition reality show.


However the best part was when, during one of the group counseling sessions with all the guys and their girlfriends, one of the douchebags get a surprise when his real girlfriend comes in the room, and she announces this fact to the room, and she tells his second "girlfriend" who bought him to the show to gtfo.

You watch this shit?

[86 IROC-Z]

he should've slipped in the "hey babe, when you gonna let me tap that"

You watch this shit?

Yeah.


Wait, uh, no. No way man. No. Those are really... lame. shows. lame shows. and dumb. yeah.

[tatertot91]

Tiger Woods=Straight up baller
You all wish you could be him

Yeah.


Wait, uh, no. No way man. No. Those are really... lame. shows. lame shows. and dumb. yeah.

[justinmc978]

he sounds like me when i was in 7th/8th grade

[86 IROC-Z]

he sounds like me when i was in 7th/8th grade

As I was reading through that for the first time, I was honestly expecting a reply of his to be "I am 12 and what is this?"

[310stanger]

No Game. Whatsoever.
If he made ~50k a year that conversation would have ended around line 5 or 7...

Haha so true. If one of us talks like that to some random slut they'd be like "this guy is such a horndog, why is he so desperate?" "whens he gonna stop blowing up my phone?" lmao I send texts just like that to chicks when im drunk lol

[Brian H Drifer]

Haha so true. If one of us talks like that to some random slut they'd be like "this guy is such a horndog, why is he so desperate?" "whens he gonna stop blowing up my phone?" lmao I send texts just like that to chicks when im drunk lol

I guess at the end of the night tiger is counting his strokes he had on the course and you're counting the strokes you had in the bathroom.