How Is Your Marriage Going?

**FuxOnTheFirstDate** · 03-23-2006, 01:22 PM

BillyT had a post that inspired me to create this thread. He also posted a link to this site: www.nomarriage.com

So, if you are married, are you happy or not? No bullshit, this is the internet so you can be 100% honest without any consequences unless she knows that you surf this site under a certain screen name. I don't even have a girlfriend right now but I think about women and marriage quite a bit, especially now that most of my friends are either married or engaged.

Anyway, fess up to your happiness or lack thereof. Also, if you have any advice for guys that have yet to get married, lets have it.

**Tman** · 03-23-2006, 01:30 PM

I've been married 19 years...love every second.

**FuxOnTheFirstDate** · 03-23-2006, 02:27 PM

Have you read through any of the pages on that site yet? If so, please comment on them. The site seems to be pretty dead on when it comes to people that know eachother for like a month and then get married.

**skar** · 03-23-2006, 03:42 PM

I take her on vacation with me so I don't have to kiss her goodbye.

**BillyT** · 03-23-2006, 04:22 PM

90% of American women marry up

That's one of my favorite facts, and from my experience it's been true 100% of the time.
With my parents, all my friends, and every girl I've ever dated.
And in my opinion it speaks volumes about American women and how many really marry for love.

I actually ordered the book and read the whole thing. And I'll even post it one more time: www.nomarriage.com

This guy is definitely harshly slanted against American women, but at the same time an overwhelming amount of the info in his book is 100% true. Particularly about the women where I'm from, NYC/NJ and where I live now, SF Bay Area, and especially in the semi well to do circles I tend to run in.

He strongly recommends only marrying if you want kids and if so to marry a foreign born woman because they have not been ruined by the American system of ultra-liberal schools, leftist media brainwashing and anti-man feminism. He says most marriages in the US that succeeded are with either heavily religious folks or people from rural areas that are big on traditional values.

With the divorce rate at 51% in America I think any analysis of this topic deserves to be looked at, especially by a successful 31 year bachelor like me, which he identifies as the life wrecking gold digging American woman's target specimen. He also mentions that many marriages that have not yet ended in divorce are miserable sexless marriages where the man doesn't leave out of love for his kids and the fear of the fact that he'd lose them and most likely be financially destroyed.

It's very interesting how he shows how American women of MY generation (Not my parent's) have been trained to think they're all princesses who are worth far more than they really are, certainly more than any man, and that its OK to reject traditional values for themselves, but to still expect traditional values and chivalry from men. And that they should demand equality wherever they want, but refuse to pay an equal price for anything. And that sex is a tool to be used as a bargaining chip and a weapon to get what they want from men. He also teaches you a lot about divorce, even recommending you take a day off work, and spend the entire day in divorce court to see American women, Marriage, and the legal system at it's finest, and to see how clear it is that the man ALWAYS gets fucked.

I myself have not dated an American born girl since my last miserable relationship with one ended when I was 27 years old, and I have had nothing but enjoyable gratifying relationships ever since.

The girl I'm dating now is from the Philippines, and the last girls I've dated were from: China, Vietnam, Switzerland, Portugal, Venezuela, Colombia, and Poland.

I personally have never been married or had my life destroyed by an American woman, but when I look around at other men, I often don't like what I see.

The rise in the US Divorce rate between 2004-2005 is almost double the recorded amount!
The divorce rate fell on average by about 4.1% in US between 2004-2005 (January - July). HOWEVER, this was due to a drop in a the marriage rate by around 8% the same period. This means that the rise in the divorce rate is in fact double the recorded amount!

BIGRED Z · 03-23-2006, 06:15 PM

Define marrying up. I'm assuming this refers to finacial matters.

But to answer the question, I'm engaged, very happily to a man who makes approximately 1/3 of what I make, is not college educated, (I have a bachelors) and has no intention of going to college (I'm going back for more.)But we compliment each other well, he's smart in all the areas I'm not and vise versa.

We laugh constantly, enjoy each others company more than most couples we hang with or know of, and he treats me as good as I treat him. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, we're very compatible. We have a lot of common interests but differ on enough things to keep it interesting.

We've lived together the last 2 years, dated some before that and we're getting married this October.

Lori<--------not marrying for money

**BillyT** · 03-23-2006, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by BIGRED Z

Define marrying up. I'm assuming this refers to finacial matters.

But to answer the question, I'm engaged, very happily to a man who makes approximately 1/3 of what I make, is not college educated, (I have a bachelors) and has no intention of going to college (I'm going back for more.)But we compliment each other well, he's smart in all the areas I'm not and vise versa.

We laugh constantly, enjoy each others company more than most couples we hang with or know of, and he treats me as good as I treat him. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, we're very compatible. We have a lot of common interests but differ on enough things to keep it interesting.

We've lived together the last 2 years, dated some before that and we're getting married this October.

Lori<--------not marrying for money

Originally Posted by BillyT

He says most marriages in the US that succeeded are with either heavily religious folks or people from rural areas that are big on traditional values.

Kentucky.

BIGRED Z · 03-23-2006, 06:30 PM

LOL, Kentucky, but I was born and raised in Cincinnati. Ron was raised bewteen here and Detroit (his mom lives an hr east of Detroit).

We're not in rural Kentucky. Cincinnati is a 20 minute drive. But comapritively speaking, Cincinnati is a conservative city. And I've been around a bit, lived in San Diego 5 yrs, (I was stationed there. US Navy.) But I guess I'm guilty as charged with the traditional values.

But good to know my geographical location bodes well for the longevity of my marriage. Thanks!

Lori

**BillyT** · 03-23-2006, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by BIGRED Z

LOL, Kentucky, but I was born and raised in Cincinnati. Ron was raised bewteen here and Detroit (his mom lives an hr east of Detroit).

We're not in rural Kentucky. Cincinnati is a 20 minute drive. But comapritively speaking, Cincinnati is a conservative city. And I've been around a bit, lived in San Diego 5 yrs, (I was stationed there. US Navy.)
But I guess I'm guilty as charged with the traditional values.

But good to know my geographical location bodes well for the longevity of my marriage. Thanks!

Lori

First off, the type of girl that would join the military is certainly not your average American girl. Plus, you're also not actually married yet and have no kids, so your situation really doesn't count.

A ton of people can say the same thing... "Me and my significant other have been dating for a few years now and it's been total bliss! We're gonna get married and live happily ever after for sure!"

**NYSS Guy** · 03-23-2006, 06:40 PM

I really feel that everything I have is because of my wife. From my house, to my car, and of course my son. Every marriage has rough times, but the joy is well worth it.

BIGRED Z · 03-23-2006, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by BillyT

First off, the type of girl that would join the military is certainly not your average American girl. Plus, you're also not actually married yet and have no kids, so your situation really doesn't count.

A ton of people can say the same thing... "Me and my significant other have been dating for a few years now and it's been total bliss! We're gonna get married and live happily ever after for sure!"

You're absolutely right, I'm far from average. I was estranged from my Dad (moved out at 16, I was the only senior in high school with my own place) and had no way to pay for college. The military looked like a good choice. I had a scholarship, but not a full ride. I was unable to qualify for financial aid because my dad made too much money, and it didn't matter that I didn't live with him or enjoy any financial support, it still counted.

Neither me or my sister (she's been married 7 years now) have children, and don't plan too. Let's just call that a product of our upbringing. So I guess I'll never have a situation that "counts".

But I believe it's up to the individual to find happiness. And often you get what you give. If you're continually in shitty relationships, at some point you might have to consider the fact that it just might be you. (Not you specifically Billy, speaking generally.) If a majority of American women are messed up, they certainly didn't get there all alone.

Your solution of dating foreign girls works for you and that's fine, and I do see a lot of American women out there that are bad news. Femi-nazi's, liberal manhating trolls that couldn't find happiness in Heaven at the foot of God himself. But not all of us are like that.

Lori

**WhiteLs1** · 03-23-2006, 07:50 PM

Going on 6 years, and I wouldn't be close to where I am at without her. She is a special person, and she puts up with my crap.

**JWBZ SVT** · 03-23-2006, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by BillyT

It's very interesting how he shows how American women of MY generation (Not my parent's) have been trained to think they're all princesses who are worth far more than they really are, certainly more than any man, and that its OK to reject traditional values for themselves, but to still expect traditional values and chivalry from men. And that they should demand equality wherever they want, but refuse to pay an equal price for anything. And that sex is a tool to be used as a bargaining chip and a weapon to get what they want from men. He also teaches you a lot about divorce, even recommending you take a day off work, and spend the entire day in divorce court to see American women, Marriage, and the legal system at it's finest, and to see how clear it is that the man ALWAYS gets f'd.

I agree in that a vast majority of girls I have met are as described in the paragraph above. Also, the idea about going to divorce court BEFORE you marry is good, but people don't tend to give that much thought--I know I didn't and learned from my mistake(s). I came out of my divorce squeeky clean. Also, I knew she was selfish and greedy enough to not contest the few items I wanted to keep from the marriage if I gave her the majority of it.

I'm NOT woman bashing at all. I have observed this behavior myself and not from one girl only. Hasn't anyone else thought it strange that girls want chivalry from the romantic interest who shows them chivarly the least?

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 03-23-2006, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by BIGRED Z

Lori<--------not marrying for money

You're not...but is he....now that's the question

Hopefully he has some goals/dreams at least...kinda shitty marrying someone with no direction in life. Is he a lot younger than you? Or is he your age and just doesn't care?

I'm not much into the whole marriage thing...as you can probably tell. I think it's pointless and is only there to let the other person get you by the balls legally.

BIGRED Z · 03-23-2006, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

You're not...but is he....now that's the question

Hopefully he has some goals/dreams at least...kinda shitty marrying someone with no direction in life. Is he a lot younger than you? Or is he your age and just doesn't care?

I'm not much into the whole marriage thing...as you can probably tell. I think it's pointless and is only there to let the other person get you by the balls legally.

Wow, you took that all wrong. He is a welder/fabricator. Has done it since high school. He makes $14/hr or so, so it's not like he's a lazy uneducated slob sitting on the couch living off me. I didn't mean to give off that impression.

He is considering a trade school for electrician, as he has worked for a contractor in the past and has some experience in that field, and his dad is a master carpenter. It's not that he has no ambition or direction, it's just that he really isn't interested in business or finance, as he's always worked with his hands in blue collar type work. Most blue collar jobs don't require a degree per se, just a certification.

Trust me, I'd have no use for anyone who doesn't get up and go to work everyday and do something productive just like I do. And I'm sure as hell not interested in supporting anyone either.

Lori

**Sassy Cassie** · 03-23-2006, 11:21 PM

It took me a little time to find the right one but I am very happily married and keep finding more things to love about my husband.

**Sassy Cassie** · 03-23-2006, 11:23 PM

I can't say that I married up either.

**NICKLE57** · 03-24-2006, 03:44 AM

I started dating my wife in High School, she was 16 and I was 17. We dated 4 years and then got married. We have been married now for 14 years as of this April 25th. I couldn't imagine a day without her.

I forgot to add. My wife also did not marry up. When we got married we were both broke. I make more than her now, but only by a little bit and there was no way for her to know how things would turn out. However I do understand the arguement of marrying up. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't scratch their head and wonder why a successful lady would marry a man without a job. None of those people would even give a second thought to a successful man marrying a woman without a job.

Hey BigredZ you are just a few miles south of me. I live in Erlanger.

**TMF** · 03-24-2006, 10:05 AM

been happily married for 25 years

**98 Purple TA** · 03-24-2006, 10:25 AM

I have been married for almost 6 yrs and we dated for 11 yrs. So, I have been with my wife for 17yrs. That is over half her life that we have been together.

There is no secrets to marriges. It is hard work to have a sucessful marrige. Both have to work at it. First of, you need to have very simular values. With out this as a foundation, it can become very difficult to see eye-to-eye on most matters. This becomes even much more important when children are invovled and how to raise them. Also, do not expect her to be able to maintain her figure all her life. Children are very damaging to the female body. If you can not handle her with several extra pounds then you are not going to be happy latter in the marrige.

An important point to remember is that a marrige is a union between a man and a women (or other possible arrangements). Nothing should ever be allowed to come between this union. This means that your spouse if more important that your job, children, money and possesions. You must sacrifice to preserve this union. This is where most marriges will suffer.

Just my thoughts and experiences. Let the dart throwing begin.