How does this work?

**ls1camino** · 12-13-2009, 08:26 AM

So I have a friend...he's one of my best friends (take a bullet for me type). He married my fiance's best friend in Summer '08. He has never had really good luck finding a job, or maybe he's just not looking hard enough, I don't know. She is the type of person who can just walk into a company, say "I want this job" and get it.

Anyway, my friend was told last month that he is loosing his job at the end of February ($30k-$40k, I think). She works a $30k job and has potential to become the CEO of this company within a few years if she doesn't do anything stupid. The real kicker here is that they both live in the basement of his parent's house. He is 31 in January, she will be 24 in June. Now, ever since they got married, they have been trying to have a kid, which is understandable for newly weds, but given the circumstances, it's not, imo. This past week, she visited a fertility doctor to find out why they haven't gotten pregnant yet. When I heard that my friend was loosing his job, I figured they had stopped trying to have a child, but with the news that she had gone to a fertility doctor, I was shocked.

Now here comes the other side of the story for the discussion responses...

My fiance and I NEVER want kids. We'd rather spend our money on ourselves (project cars for me, books or whatever for my fiance, and trips around the country/world for both of us), and of course spoil our friends/siblings kids. I'm pretty good off at this poin in my life, and honestly, it can only get better (DoD emplyee). This past summer, I went to my regular doctor and requested information on permanent birth control (Vasectomy and Laparoscopic Tubal Ligation). The doctor spent more time trying to persuade me not to get a procedure like this done at such a young age and to wait till at least 30 before a decision is made. I was not happy, I've made my decision, and I don't like people telling me how to live my life. There is not a shortage of people in this world (we could even loose a few or half), so why should I have a kid if I don't want to.

So anyway...what do you guys think of this? Were the doctors in the right with their decisions? Cause honestly, I don't think they were

**Smkn_TA** · 12-13-2009, 08:33 AM

Definitley right. Your only 22 dude. You two might live happily ever after, but when you hit 50, you will be wishing you had kids. Don't vasect now, it might not be undoable. I wouldn't have a kid at my age for anything, but in 7 years, when I am done with school, stable job, stable financials. You bet. A lot changes with age. Besides, maybe you end up like sarge and have a kid that hooks up with a star football player and they make nfl and get you tickets to all the good games!

More importantly, what kind of game does you friend have to land a girl 7 years younger, and get her too move in, while living in his fucking parents basement at age 31?!?! Seriously, can you have him give me expert advice or some shit. That dude is my new hero.

**0rion** · 12-13-2009, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by ls1camino

So I have a friend...he's one of my best friends (take a bullet for me type). He married my fiance's best friend in Summer '08. He has never had really good luck finding a job, or maybe he's just not looking hard enough, I don't know. She is the type of person who can just walk into a company, say "I want this job" and get it.

Anyway, my friend was told last month that he is loosing his job at the end of February ($30k-$40k, I think). She works a $30k job and has potential to become the CEO of this company within a few years if she doesn't do anything stupid. The real kicker here is that they both live in the basement of his parent's house. He is 31 in January, she will be 24 in June. Now, ever since they got married, they have been trying to have a kid, which is understandable for newly weds, but given the circumstances, it's not, imo. This past week, she visited a fertility doctor to find out why they haven't gotten pregnant yet. When I heard that my friend was loosing his job, I figured they had stopped trying to have a child, but with the news that she had gone to a fertility doctor, I was shocked.

Now here comes the other side of the story for the discussion responses...

My fiance and I NEVER want kids. We'd rather spend our money on ourselves (project cars for me, books or whatever for my fiance, and trips around the country/world for both of us), and of course spoil our friends/siblings kids. I'm pretty good off at this poin in my life, and honestly, it can only get better (DoD emplyee). This past summer, I went to my regular doctor and requested information on permanent birth control (Vasectomy and Laparoscopic Tubal Ligation). The doctor spent more time trying to persuade me not to get a procedure like this done at such a young age and to wait till at least 30 before a decision is made. I was not happy, I've made my decision, and I don't like people telling me how to live my life. There is not a shortage of people in this world (we could even loose a few or half), so why should I have a kid if I don't want to.

So anyway...what do you guys think of this? Were the doctors in the right with their decisions? Cause honestly, I don't think they were

I think the doctors are probably just using past experiences to go by. They've probably had countless people telling them exactly what you're telling them only to change their minds down the road. I can't imagine a life without kids......seems pretty boring and lonely to me. I used to think like you and you couldn't give me a kid if it were wrapped in money but after having a couple I don't even understand why I thought that. Just young and selfish I guess because that's the only reasons I ever hear for people not wanting kids.
Think about this. How many people on their death beds say " I wish I would've had more money for my car." or "I wish I would've worked more." Most people late in life wish they could do it all over again with their children and as I've gotten older I understand that now.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 12-13-2009, 08:43 AM

Knocking on 30 myself i'd say go with what the doc recommended. Your view on life changes drastically...I mean I still don't want kids right now but I can see myself in 5-6 years trying for some. I was the same as you 7 years ago saying i'll never want kids but like I said shit changes.

What's the rush anyway? I know condoms suck and BC can get expensive if there's no medical coverage but damn...22 and a vasectomy is pretty extreme bro.

**anniversary30** · 12-13-2009, 08:48 AM

The doctors are right..............don't do something so drastic so early on in life. Use condoms,the pill......anything but permanant fix like that. Right now you may not want kids but believe me you like a woman can change you mind and decide you want kids and now .........YOUR FUCKED!!!!! Convince her to take it in the butt if you have to. Thats a win win for you!!!!!!!!!! seriously You just might change your mind and want a little guy to teach all you car stuff or a little girl so you can chase all her boyfriends away with a shootgun. DON'T DO IT!!!! Not yet atleast.

Hears a another point.......lets just say for the sake of arguement, you and your wife don't make it...(not to wish bad luck) but you find someone else and she wants kids.....again I say......YOUR FUCKED!!!!!!!!! Don't do it.!!!!! Not yet atleast.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 12-13-2009, 08:50 AM

^^^Exactly...not being able to have kids would be a deal breaker for many women. I hear some vasectomies can be reversed but still..

**86 IROC-Z** · 12-13-2009, 09:06 AM

I used to vehemently state that I never wanted kids.

Nowadays I can't imagine not eventually having them.

Keep your shit working. There are many other effective ways to prevent pregnancy without killing off your swimmers.

**pecha** · 12-13-2009, 09:14 AM

just wait with it

**Brian H Drifer** · 12-13-2009, 10:47 AM

If you don't want kids you could always get a dog.

**SHines-IT** · 12-13-2009, 11:06 AM

I don't want kids, cost to much. If the marriage goes down the shiter. The man is royally fuck in the ass by a big rig, so no point fuck it. So... The Hines blood ends with me!!!

**JerseyLS1** · 12-13-2009, 11:15 AM

I'm female and I don't want kids .. Philly and I are like you ... we like spending our time and money on us and just enjoying life .. our dog and cats are like our kids anyway ..

however i'd go on birth control before I told him to get a vasectomy ...

**SHines-IT** · 12-13-2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by JerseyLS1

however i'd go on birth control before I told him to get a vasectomy ...

That shit does not always work, I know plenty of cases.

**blkSS98** · 12-13-2009, 12:40 PM

They have a thing that is surgically inserted in the woman and is supposed to be birth control for like 5 years but can be removed at anytime...

**Zapper2003** · 12-13-2009, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by blkSS98

They have a thing that is surgically inserted in the woman and is supposed to be birth control for like 5 years but can be removed at anytime...

It's called your thumb.

**bertt23** · 12-13-2009, 01:23 PM

dont do it, that does seem kinda selfish, youll never know happiness untill you see your children growing up. Ive actually put my car plans to the side, kids are my everything.

**Smkn_TA** · 12-13-2009, 01:32 PM

You can't get pregnant if she's on top, that's called gravity, and it's the law.

**justinmc978** · 12-13-2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Brian H Drifer

If you don't want kids you could always get a dog.

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

You can't get pregnant if she's on top, that's called gravity, and it's the law.

**joejenkinsglass** · 12-13-2009, 06:27 PM

P i i h b

**BULLET_WS6** · 12-13-2009, 06:37 PM

To me it is kind of like all the people that when they turn 18 say, why would I NOT want this tattoo when I'm 50? So then they do it and now regret it, but this is something way more serious and I just think there are better routes to go that could hold off that decision until you are a little older to make that kind of decision. A great thing is those shots the girl gets like every 6 months of so. Just look into all the methods and do your research.

**justinmc978** · 12-13-2009, 06:41 PM

you could come into some money later down the road and suddenly change your mind because of that as well,

where i stand now i doubt i'll want kids either, but i'm only 18 so,