Funny story thread

[cuervo25_1]

I figure this would be a great place to put stories like "Sarge's mowing adventure" and "the reason Orion realy works at home" I will start it off

One weekend Orion decided to go hunting in Texas. Orion drove to Texas and found a good hunting spot near a huge ranch . Orion soon sees a Monster buck and shoots it, however the deer runs off and jumps the fence to the ranch.

Well poor Orion was in a pickle,if he crosses over the fence he could be shot for tresspassing, or if he left the deer it would rot and no one would believe that he shot the buck of a lifetime.


Orion looks around and sees no one, so he climbs over the fence and soon finds the buck. As he got it back to the fence and was getting ready to heave it over he hears someone clearing their throat. He turns and sees a grumpy looking man (Sarge)

Sarge looks at Orion and says " son where in the hell do you think your going with my deer. Orion spoke up "Your deer? I shot it and it jumped your fence. I just retrieved it" Sarge replied "Thats what makes it mine, It died on my property" Orion was starting to get pissed so he yelled at Sarge "I WILL SUE YOU, AND I WILL WIN EVERYTHING YOU OWN". Sarge calmly looked at Orion and stated "Son, that is not how we do things here in Texas we play 3 kicks to solve problems that can be solved without guns. Orion was curious and asked "what is 3 kicks" Sarge explained that they players took turns kicking each other 3 times until someone gives up, the one that gave up loses. Orion liked the sound of the game,his thoughts was this guy is old and stinks and close to death, he can't kick that hard.

Sarge told him that since Orion was tresspassing that he was allowed to start,Orion agreeed. so Sarge brings his leg back and kicks Orion as hard as he could in the shin. Orion draws his leg up grabs his shin while bellowing in pain. While he did that Sarge drew back again and kicked him in the groin. Orion dropped to his knees screaming like a girl. Sarge drew back and nailed him right in the stomach. Orion dropped flat to the ground pukeing harder than he has ever puked before.

Orion lays there for several minutes and shakingly gets to his feet. in a much higher tone he tells Sarge" OK old man it is my turn" "nope" says Sarge "I give up you can keep the deer"

[zeetwentyeight]

hahahahahahalolololol

[67CamaroRSSS]

Rocheambeau?

[justinmc978]

Rocheambeau?

[cuervo25_1]

Four-and-twenty virgins came from the midwest,
And when the Ball was over, there were four-and-twenty less,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all..

There was doin' in the back seat , there was doin' on the curbstones,
But ya couldn't a hear the music for the wheezin' and the groans,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Spaz, he was there, all wrapped up in a shroud,
Swingin' from the chandelier, and peein' on the crowd,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Sarge, he was there, ah he could not do much,
So he lined the ladies against the wall, and he did 'em with his crutch,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Mr shines it was standin' way up front,
Some posies in his hand, and a carrot in his butt,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Suade, he was there, but the poor man had to weld some plows,
He could not do the professor, so he did the milk cows,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

GTP231, he was there, he gave us all a laugh,
He pulled his foreskin over his head, and he vanished up his ass,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all

Orion , he was there , he looked like a two bit whore,he hiked his skirt to his knees then started vacuuming the floor.

Singin' balls to your partner,your ass against the wall,if ya never been had on a Saturday night ya never been had at all

[cuervo25_1]

here is the actual song that goes with the above, I just cahnged some stuff and added some stuff..

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2NISXa1Qok[/ame]

[KnightmareWS6]

I can tell already, this is gonna be an epic thread.