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Funny Craigslist Ad

This is a discussion on Funny Craigslist Ad within the Almost Anything Goes forums, part of the Off - Topic / Discussion forums category; The ad was deleted but here is the info. OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only ...

  1. #1
    Senior Member ztrouble's Avatar
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    Funny Craigslist Ad

    The ad was deleted but here is the info.

    OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

    It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

    This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

    No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

    It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

    My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

    There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

    Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

    To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

    Rock on.

  2. #2
    Member Tide's Avatar
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    That's awesome.

  3. #3
    Exalted Cyclops 67CamaroRSSS's Avatar
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    I like the MC Hammer pants thing.....

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    Awesome! Im in!

    Mostly for the Parachute Pants.

  5. #5
    Senior Member 01ws6er's Avatar
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    That's awesome! I see funny ads like this from time to time on c-list, but this one tops the cake. BTW Keith (because I know you are going to ask this question), no I did not get my computer fixed, but hypothetically speaking, I may be using a laptop I borrowed from work today to type this message...

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    Quote Originally Posted by 01ws6er View Post
    That's awesome! I see funny ads like this from time to time on c-list, but this one tops the cake. BTW Keith (because I know you are going to ask this question), no I did not get my computer fixed, but hypothetically speaking, I may be using a laptop I borrowed from work today to type this message...
    Uh oh! Yeah you better hide!


    Quick take it with you and run!

  7. #7
    Another day Another 5th ARM5280's Avatar
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    Oddly enough I heard on a local radio station top 10 list of most purchased vehicle by gays #1 was Nissan Xterra, which finally after some years barely beat the Subaru Forester. Too Funny, good luck with the sale there Rump Ranger!!!

  8. #8
    Senior Member 01ws6er's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TempleU_WS6 View Post
    Uh oh! Yeah you better hide!


    Quick take it with you and run!
    It's my supervisors laptop, so I have to give it back tomorrow... I really miss my cpu!

    When and where do u plan on doing the install of your parts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by 01ws6er View Post
    It's my supervisors laptop, so I have to give it back tomorrow... I really miss my cpu!

    When and where do u plan on doing the install of your parts?
    Not sure yet. Im gonna wait till i get everything to set up a date. Might be able to do it at my brothers friends dad's place. They guy with the GT500 and autox 427 Cobra.

  10. #10
    Powerstrokin LT1 > LS1's Avatar
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    lmao.....that was good. i'd like to see the guy who wrote that.



    prolly looks like mclovin

    rofl

  11. #11
    Team Skeet Captain JHayesLS1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ztrouble View Post
    The ad was deleted but here is the info.

    OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

    It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

    This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

    No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

    It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

    My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

    There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

    Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

    To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

    Rock on.
    I'm so using that for the next car I sell

  12. #12
    Senior Member taylorr12's Avatar
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    haha that was great.

  13. #13
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    I really do wonder if paying for a half-page ad in the local paper written like that would help in selling a vehicle. I might use that as a template of sorts to sell my 'bird next spring lol

  14. #14
    Senior Member 01ws6er's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TempleU_WS6 View Post
    Not sure yet. Im gonna wait till i get everything to set up a date. Might be able to do it at my brothers friends dad's place. They guy with the GT500 and autox 427 Cobra.
    u gettin it tuned too? might as well do it b4 the install so it runs nice on startup... See if he lets you use his shop, cause im sure he's got every tool imaginable

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    Quote Originally Posted by 01ws6er View Post
    u gettin it tuned too? might as well do it b4 the install so it runs nice on startup... See if he lets you use his shop, cause im sure he's got every tool imaginable
    I might just wait till after so it doesnt run like shit before hand. Or maybe ill do it anyway? Couldnt be that bad could it? The drive isnt that far I dont think.

  16. #16
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    OK... that was pretty funny

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