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Thread: FREE COUCH!!! funny
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10-09-2009, 02:02 PM #1
FREE COUCH!!! funny
Original ad:
I WANT YOUR COUCH
IF ANYONE HAS AN UNWANTED COUCH I CAN COME GET IT. WILL TRAVEL UP TO 20 MINUTES FROM CONSHOHOCKEN. PLEASE SEND PICTURES. THANKS
From Me to **********@*********.org:
Hi there! You can have my couch if you are still looking for one. Let me know! You can either e-mail me or call me.
Mike
From Juan ********* to Me:
HI MIKE
I STILL NEED YOUR COUCH.
HOW BIG IS IT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES?
WHY DO YOU NOT WANT IT ANY MORE?
YOU DID NOT GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO I CANT CALL YOU.
From Me to Juan *********:
Juan,
The couch can seat three normal people, or two fat people. I don't have any pictures because my camera is broken (I didn't realize it was in the garbage disposal when I turned on the switch.)
I am getting rid of the couch because my grandfather passed away on it a few weeks ago. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of it, and I would rather it not be in my apartment anymore. Just give me a call and we can set up a time for you to come get it.
Mike
From Juan ********* to Me:
MIKE IS THE COUCH STILL IN GOOD CONDITION. YOU STILL DID NOT GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER.
From Me to Juan *********:
Juan,
The couch is still in very good condition. There are only a few minor blemishes, but you can't really notice them. There is a little bit of blood on the couch and a pool of blood on the middle cushion from when my grandfather shot himself. I tried cleaning it with club soda, but it had really soaked into the fabric by the time I found him. The blood dried though, and now it is kind of a brown-ish color that I think actually makes the couch look better. It is a brown couch anyway so you can't even notice it.
Mike
From Juan ********* to Me:
NO THANKS
From Me to Juan *********:
Why not? I thought we had a deal. Is it because of the blood? You can just turn the cushion over and nobody will have any idea.
From Juan ********* to Me:
THE COUCH IS COVERED IN BLOOD WHO WOULD WANT THAT?
GROSS!
From Me to Juan *********:
Don't put words in my mouth. I never said it was covered in blood - it just has a little blood here and there.
I did forget to mention, I believe my grandfather defecated on the couch when he died (the paramedics say it happens all the time.) I cleaned most of that up, but once again the couch is brown so you won't even notice it.
And this probably isn't a big deal, but he also had a cigar in his mouth and when he died it set part of the couch on fire. On the plus side, it did burn away some of the old urine stains that the couch had on it. The couch no longer smells like urine. It kind of smells like a barbecue, which is great if you love barbecues.
From Juan ********* to Me:
THAT COUCH IS FUCKED
THROW IT OUT!
From Me to Juan *********:
Why would you waste my time if you weren't going to take the couch? I'm sick of having to deal with people like you. I'm just trying to get rid of a decent couch, for free, and still people are wasting my time.
From Juan ********* to Me:
IF YOU TOLD ME UP FRONT THAT SOME ONE DIED AND SHIT ALL OVER YUOR COUCH THAN I WOULNT HAVE WASTED ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME!!
DONT YOU SPIN THIS ON ME BY TELING ME THE COUCH LOOKS GOOD WITH BLOOD OR SMELLS LIKE A BBQ. WHO THE FUCK WANTS A COUCCH THAT SMELLS LIKE BBQ IF I WANTED TO SMELL BBQ I WOULD BUY A FUCKING GRILL
From Me to Juan *********:
Would you be interested in the grill I am selling then? It is a CharCooker 500 and has three burners. Two of them don't work because my grandfather shot at the grill when he was drunk, but the middle burner still cooks food really well. I'm asking $400 for it, and for you, I'll throw in a couch for free.
From Juan ********* to Me:
I DONT WANT YOUR USELESS SHIT GUY!!!!
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10-09-2009, 02:06 PM #2
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10-09-2009, 02:08 PM #3
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- Broken Arrow, OK
- Age
- 49
- Posts
- 23,345
Pewter metallic- 2000 Camaro SS
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10-09-2009, 02:10 PM #4
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Texas
- Posts
- 180
Silver- 2008 MKIV Beast GXP GT
Hilarious. I laughed all the way through.
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10-09-2009, 04:19 PM #5
Funniest shit in a while........literally got tears in my eyes
┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
Man: The Mods you are fighting,
they are the biggest Men I have ever seen. I
wouldn't want to fight them!
Me: That is why no one will remember your name!
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10-09-2009, 04:20 PM #6
Hahahaha!!! That was great!!! I've got my brother asking me, "What's so funny?" Hahaha!
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10-09-2009, 04:30 PM #7
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10-09-2009, 04:42 PM #8
I would like to see pics of said couch...
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10-09-2009, 04:46 PM #9
He wants a perfectly good couch for free, yet he'd buy a grill...... nice. and i LOVE what you did. Fucking freeloader. I love when somebody fucks with someone else using their brain. Very clever sir. Very clever.
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10-09-2009, 05:22 PM #10
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Age
- 35
- Posts
- 862
Black 2002 T/A M6- Green 1997 Ram 4x4
Hahaha...that made my night..
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10-09-2009, 05:49 PM #11
haha, I would have come to get it just to see if it was real.
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10-09-2009, 06:10 PM #12
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10-09-2009, 09:36 PM #13
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Coral Springs, Fl
- Posts
- 5,774
Sunset Orange Metalic- 2001 Camaro SS
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10-09-2009, 09:42 PM #14
That was hilarious. Just plain great and full of win.
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10-09-2009, 10:15 PM #15
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- Pittsburgh, PA
- Age
- 42
- Posts
- 21,720
My life is a- Ben Stiller movie.
you are VERY disturbed....
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10-09-2009, 10:34 PM #16
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10-10-2009, 06:37 AM #17
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
- Posts
- 2,064
yellow- 02 Collector Trans Am
that's a good one!
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10-10-2009, 06:41 AM #18
I farted and smell something dead.
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10-10-2009, 06:43 AM #19
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Saint Louis, MO
- Posts
- 1,705
Arctic White & Black- '98 WS6 M6 - SWAPTIME!
that "mike" guy has his own website where he just messes with sellers on there. i can't find it tho!
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10-10-2009, 07:07 AM #20
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Milwaukee
- Posts
- 43
Liquid Red- 2008 Pontiac G8 GT
There's alot more just like this one on www.dontevenreply.com
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