divorce advice! How to protect myself financially!

[RATCHETMASTER]

I know I haven't posted in here for a while, but I noticed many have oppinions to offer.

So here goes!!

After 20 years I believe my wife is calling it quits!! She hasn't said anything, but for the last 4 months we hardly talk.

here is why

I found out that she had $16,000 in credit card debt. This is NOT the first time.

one time we went $40,000 in debt. The second time it was $35,000. We bailed ourselves out by selling a piece of property once, and taking out a home equity loan the second time.

I was aware of these debts but she does bill paying and she kept giving excuses of needing things until it got higher and higher!!

I tried to get here to sit down with me and work out a budget. All she would ever do is say "you don't make enought money".

So I have worked 2 jobs up until last February. (10 years). But it still wasn't enough!!

Back to the reason . . .

I scrapped some money together (sold a car, sold some parts on ebay, etc) to get that debt down to $8,000.

I checked this month, and now it is up to $25,000 again!!! IN just 4 MONTHS!! the card is maxed!!!



Let's cut to the chase . . .

I called my banks of my credit cards and found out she took $10,000 advance on the old card that we had paid off and put it in a private account that she apparently opened which I don't have access to TODAY!!

I then found out that one of her credit cards has a new billing address . . . at a condo 20 miles away!! She changed it one week ago!!


Conclusion???

She is moving out (I believe) and getting money together to rent a place and be able to cover her living expenses.


Bottom line!!!

How can I protect myself from her as far as my creditcards, bank accounts, etc??

I know she will go after whatever she can squeeze out of me!!!

Advice appreciated.

[The Manalishi]

Get a lawyer ASAP!!

[jknelms]

dang man...aren't there free lawyer services you can call?


i would have cut up those cards a long time ago man...

[Spaz]

Get a lawyer ASAP!!

+1...

get together ALL credit card reports/history/purchases from EVERY credit card that is in your name or in both names... call the CC companies (this should have been done in the first place) and tell them that you don't want any purchases are authorized on thier cards and that if there is any they are fraud!!!

[Spaz]

+1...

get together ALL credit card reports/history/purchases from EVERY credit card that is in your name or in both names... call the CC companies (this should have been done in the first place) and tell them that you don't want any purchases are authorized on thier cards and that if there is any they are fraud!!!

ALSO... if you have a joint account... take ALL the money out... take all the money out of every account you have and give it to either your parents or someone you trust... she now has no access to it...

[JHayesLS1]

Like they said get a lawyer and refrain from killing her

[Mr. Luos]

Install Shady's 9" rearend for him and all will be taken care of.

[jknelms]

Install Shady's 9" rearend for him and all will be taken care of.

[RATCHETMASTER]

Get a lawyer ASAP!!

Male or female?? I was thinking a female who would usually represent a woman so that she may know what she has up her sleeves!!

What do you think?

[RATCHETMASTER]

+1...

get together ALL credit card reports/history/purchases from EVERY credit card that is in your name or in both names... call the CC companies (this should have been done in the first place) and tell them that you don't want any purchases are authorized on thier cards and that if there is any they are fraud!!!

Since she took a $10,000 advance on one, I thought I would charge up as much as possible on our joint cards . . . won't we both be responsible for the joint debt?

I have a card that is just in my name . . .

I talked to them and they said if she has any cards, she can still use them so I have to find the cards and get them from her.

I put a cap on one account meaning they will not allow more than a certain amount on it.

[RATCHETMASTER]

I gotta run . . . going to the bank!!

And getting a car key made to since I can't find the spare to her car . . . the WS6!! Can't they look it up and cut one for me?

[The Manalishi]

Male or female?? I was thinking a female who would usually represent a woman so that she may know what she has up her sleeves!!

What do you think?

If you can find a female to represent you it might help a little. But I wouldn't let that be the only factor. I'd find the pitbull that has a reputation for getting the job done male or female.

[tnthub]

1. Call a lawyer.
2. Remove your name from any joint bank accounts or credit cards.
3. Open a new bank account at a different bank in your name only so she does not have any access to it.
4. If you can get one, even a crappy credit card, in your name only do it. Don't use it, just get it, and only offer up the new bank account to get it.

Although technically it will be termed a marital asset since it is in your name only you can keep all control over it as most likely your credit will take a severe hot during the divorce.

Get the best lawyer you can possibly find. If you have enough money put retainers on any lawyer she is likely to hire so she can't get a good lawyer.

Make copies of ALL and I mean ALL financial records. Make copies of ALL credit card stransactions and whose signature is on them. Make copies of ALL cancelled checks. This will require many hours of work but it is the only way you stand a chance of protecting yourself.

Make sure any of your "toys" are in your name only.

Figure out the health and life insurance stuff so you suddenly do not find yourself without insurance. Do NOT cancel any health insurance on her (as much as you may want to) as that will be seen as a very bad thing by a judge.

Call a lawyer NOW.

[Spaz]

1. Call a lawyer.
2. Remove your name from any joint bank accounts or credit cards.
3. Open a new bank account at a different bank in your name only so she does not have any access to it.
4. If you can get one, even a crappy credit card, in your name only do it. Don't use it, just get it, and only offer up the new bank account to get it.

Although technically it will be termed a marital asset since it is in your name only you can keep all control over it as most likely your credit will take a severe hot during the divorce.

Get the best lawyer you can possibly find. If you have enough money put retainers on any lawyer she is likely to hire so she can't get a good lawyer.

Make copies of ALL and I mean ALL financial records. Make copies of ALL credit card stransactions and whose signature is on them. Make copies of ALL cancelled checks. This will require many hours of work but it is the only way you stand a chance of protecting yourself.

Make sure any of your "toys" are in your name only.

Figure out the health and life insurance stuff so you suddenly do not find yourself without insurance. Do NOT cancel any health insurance on her (as much as you may want to) as that will be seen as a very bad thing by a judge.

Call a lawyer NOW.

bad idea... she can get possession of them depending on how it goes... if he can put them in his parents name he is far better off!!!

[zero_proto]

kill her

[Smurfvette05]

As a woman, I should be offended at some of the responses but I am not. First, Close all accounts that you have access to.
Second, if you can prove that she racked up all the debt after you just paid it, she might be responsible for it.
Third, from a woman's point of view, it sounds like you have already been replaced. It sounds like she already has another man. If she has an apartment, then she already has moved on.

Sorry. Good luck

[bigrondownhiller]

Try to move as many assets you have to your parents name. Then she wont be able to get them as easy. If she knows she is looking to get divorced she might already have a scumbag on retainer. He might be telling her to rack up the debt. Try to cancel as many cards you can that are joint.

[zero_proto]

i agree with with putting everything under your parents name, this way she cannot touch anything else. That is your best move right now. Make sure you document everything, and if you she is with somebody else, as much as that may suck, get proof. It will help alot in court, that way she has no ground to battle on.

[310stanger]

yet another reason i'm never getting married.

1. lawyer
2. private investigator
3. mafia hitman

[310stanger]

the private investigator will find out about the other man and that is important because it'll make it harder for her to pull the financial hardship crap.