Dilemma?....

[foshizl]

OK, so im just looking for your opinions on this. Here is the situation:

I met this really cool girl at my work, (she works on her own vehicles etc.) shes cute and all that good stuff, went on a couple dates or whatever and thats all good.

Here is my question... I joined the Air Force and leave for basic training July 25 (still a while away) Im wondering if I should tell her this right at the moment, im afraid if i do that might change the way she feels about me, ya know because im not really going to be around for anything "long term" or should I just see how this goes and when the time gets closer break it to her?

[KyleLs1]

wait til after you sleep with her to tell her.

[Mr. Luos]

wait til after you sleep with her to tell her.

Exactly my thoughts.

Knock the bottom out, then spill it.

[The Rookie]

Be Honest with her. You are 21, if things work then they work. If they don't... they don't. Like I said you are 21 and have plenty of time and plenty of fish in the sea to go trolling for.... If you think this is the kinda girl that you may want to see even after you get into the AirForce, you better tell her now though. Besides.... a man in uniform may excite her!

[RainMan]

Be honest and up front. If she is really interested she may want to still pursue the relationship even long distance. If not, it's better to get it out and over with before you get too close and then have to deal with an emotional breakup. Unless she is really clueless, she will know that you hid this from her until the last minute and that will destroy any credibility you had with her.

I was in the Air Force and my wife and I dealt with a long distance relationship for over a year before we got married. That was over 20 years ago and we are still together.

My $.02

[foshizl]

lol, i dont know her well enough to say "shes the one i want to be with" or anything like that yet, and to be honest, im pretty sure unless she is right there (im in a different state etc) i dunno about the whole faithful thing on my part LOL... i was kinda thinkin what the other guys above said... i may wait a while to spill the beans, i dunno though

[snaggeltooth]

Tell her you joined the Marines and you will be TAD to a Air Force base... You wont be able to get rid of her....lol..

[foshizl]

Now with more good pollyness

[RainMan]

lol, i dont know her well enough to say "shes the one i want to be with" or anything like that yet, and to be honest, I'm pretty sure unless she is right there (I'm in a different state etc) i dunno about the whole faithful thing on my part LOL... i was kinda thinking what the other guys above said... i may wait a while to spill the beans, i dunno though

Well, you just answered your own question. You are not ready. But remember, if you string her along just for a piece of ass, you can kiss any future relationship prospects with her good by.

You have to ask yourself this question. Do you really care about her feelings? You do it once you will likely do it again. You may wake up one day wondering why you are still single. . . .

Not trying to slam you, just to get you to think about what you are about to do.

Again just my $.02

[foshizl]

LOL @ snaggeltooth, you should see the look on peoples faces when I tell them my job is F22 Avionics... people are like whats that <dumb look>

[foshizl]

I appreciate all input... RainMan in no way was your post taken in offense, I asked for opinions I expect to get opinions, I do understand the whole stringing her along thing and I agree with you 100%. In all honesty i simply dont know her well enough to say that I really want to try anything long term, and my 3 months left here is a short time to build enough trust to do long distance... that is why I posted it, because I am 50/50 both ways

[snaggeltooth]

I had a gf from high scool when I went in , we kept in contact the whole time, and we even stayed together about 3 years after I got out...Nothing better than getting those " I miss you so much letters ".

[SeVeReDiStOrTiOn]

I appreciate all input... RainMan in no way was your post taken in offense, I asked for opinions I expect to get opinions, I do understand the whole stringing her along thing and I agree with you 100%. In all honesty i simply dont know her well enough to say that I really want to try anything long term, and my 3 months left here is a short time to build enough trust to do long distance... that is why I posted it, because I am 50/50 both ways

Where are you going for boot and your mos school? I'd just tell her what you know so far...and tell her that after your school they usually offer up a "dream sheet". It's just a request for a certain base you want to be stationed at...so if there's a near-by base then tell her that it's a possibility that you could be stationed there.

Or she could not even care and just wants a fuck buddy....give it another month to get to know her better and then make your decision.

[RainMan]

I appreciate all input... RainMan in no way was your post taken in offense, I asked for opinions I expect to get opinions, I do understand the whole stringing her along thing and I agree with you 100%. In all honesty i simply dont know her well enough to say that I really want to try anything long term, and my 3 months left here is a short time to build enough trust to do long distance... that is why I posted it, because I am 50/50 both ways

I understand, I know that you were looking for opinions. I just wanted to emphasize that my post is not meant to be taken negatively.

Just that some of my posts in the past have been taken out of context by some. Sometimes in these forums, people mistake one's intent. Something that is lost when you can't communicate face to face.

I just feel that being open and honest she will respect you more, regardless of where the relationship goes. You may not stay with her, as Snaggeltooth said, you may end up with a good friend.

Good Luck with what-ever you decide and Good Luck in the AF! Remember, the AF is not hard, just follow the regulations, keep your nose clean, and follow orders. You have an excellent opportunity. Use you benefits, education. . .etc.. You can go far!

Later!

P.S. You would be surprised what can develop from a relationship. I'm not suggesting that she's the one, but My wife and I met two weeks before we got engaged, were engaged (long distance) for over a year, and here we are 20+ yrs later. You just never know what can happen.

[snaggeltooth]

A+ to that Rainman

[foshizl]

I think ill give it a little time seeing we just started hanging out not that long ago, and see where it goes from there... at least by that time i should know emotionally what i think of her

[foshizl]

SeVeReDiStOrTiOn - Boot is at lackland AFB in TX, and from what i know my tech school is going to be in Keesler MS

[RainMan]

SeVeReDiStOrTiOn - Boot is at lackland AFB in TX, and from what i know my tech school is going to be in Keesler MS

Been there, Done that! Lackland (Basic Training of course) and to Keesler AFB several times.

[tnthub]

Been there, Done that! Lackland (Basic Training of course) and to Keesler AFB several times.

Tell her when the time is right. You need to be up front about stuff like this and she deserves to be treated with respect. Put yourself in her shoes... How would you feel if you were not told straight up? If you can't be honest then there is no relationship to discuss anyway.

[Motrv8d Steve]

be on the level with her right up front, you know the old saying,
"Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive..."