Dating - A hard road to walk down

**35th-ANV-SS** · 08-07-2009, 06:29 PM

Nothing much going on with this thread. I'm just venting and sharing some thoughts at the moment. This isn't exactly your macho, yeah I just kicked a WS6's ass thread or I finally got my MS3 cam installed today so feel free to write what you may. Not trying to use this site as a dating service either, not my style so keep those comments to yourself lol. I know this is a place for speaking your mind as well about cars, so here goes nothing...

So here I am at the age of 31 and single. I always thought for sure that I would have had a family started by now. I mean I started dating seriously at the age of 16 and never looked back on my life once until now. My last girlfriend I met when I was 24. She was 19. We dated for 6-1/2 years. We had everything planned to get married. I bought the rings, had the hall booked, the photographer down payment. She had the invitations, the bride's dresses picked out and paid for, my wedding band, and the cake. We were supposed to get married in May of 2008. In January of 2008 I broke it off.

All-in-all, I have no regrets what-so-ever. I know I made the right decision. But now I have been single since and I just am not understanding women at the moment. Before, I didn't go a month without being single. I always had females approaching me asking for my number or wanting to go out. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a pretty damn good catch. I mean I am pretty good looking (not a model, but I rate myself about a 7-1/2 or higher), I'm intelligent, I own my own home, I am pretty outgoing, I have a great job and am career oriented, and I own a bad-ass 4th gen SS. What else does a woman need lol?

I am really starting to learn that dating gets a lot harder with age. I guess at the age of 31, I finally know what I want in a woman and maybe that is just making my choices that much more limited. Since I was involved with a girl for such a long period of time, I have to admit, my dating techniques aren't probably as sharp as they used to be. But non the less, I thought I'd share my point of view on relationships. So here it goes.

Today I want to talk about relationships, and the subjects I feel that need to be addressed to make any relationship work and become something amazing. Not just your typical boyfriend and girlfriend type relationship, but something that is more than that. Best friends, soul mates, knowing you can always count on the other person, wanting to understand everything about them, always being there for them, being a great listener, providing support in every imaginable way. I am talking about true love. The type that you know exists because every time you see that person, your heart skips a beat. Every time you talk to that person, your face brightens with such a big smile your face hurts. Not being able to wait to spend time with that person every day should be a daily feeling. I am talking about picking up the phone to talk to them just for a minute and three hours later you are saying goodnight and wishing them sweet dreams.

Maybe it is just me, but this to me is what true love entails. Maybe I’m old fashioned, maybe not, but this is my fairy tale and below are the words I want to talk about that I feel make it up.

Romance is a word that so many guys are scared of. I just want to say to all the women out there, chivalry is not dead. There are a few of us men that want to show affection, want to open doors, want to stare into your eyes, and want to hold hands as we walk together through the mall. An occasional poem written to confess the true feelings of how you feel toward one another shouldn’t be a nuisance, but something you want to do. An occasional rose to show the appreciation for being there. A candle light home cooked meal, a quiet night at home cuddling and watching a movie, a soothing bubble bath, and oil massages. Women need to feel wanted. They need to be told how beautiful they are.

Being sensitive is an important aspect to making a relationship go the distance. It is so important to understand where women are coming from when they convey their feelings and emotions to you. You have to put yourself in their shoes. Women are very emotional and by taking the time to listen to everything they have to say before you make judgment is important. Don’t be hasty and jump to conclusions. Make sure you know all the facts before you pass judgment. We, as men, can more often than not become angry and take offense. However, if you remain calm and collective and “talk” about your feelings, you’ll soon see it is a much more effective way of dealing with all the small issues that arise in a relationship and often this method curse those small issues before they become full blown fights.

Selfishness cannot exist in a relationship. It is all about being able to provide to the needs of what your significant other needs and wants. Any choice you make, you should always take into consideration the affects of that choice and the impact it might have on your significant other. Relationships are a two-way street.

Security is another important word in regard to relationships. Women need to feel secure. What does security mean? To me, it means knowing that no matter what bad luck life brings you that you never have to worry about anything because you know that your significant other will do everything in their willpower to make things right. It means knowing that your significant other will always protect you in any situation. You never have to worry about being hurt.

Communication is key. You have to always have the communication doors open. Holding in feelings is never good, whether it involves a friend, a relative, or loved one. Too many times people think something but never say it and when they finally try to convey what they want, it is too late. Great communication is very healthy. You don’t have to have a deep discussion, but a simple question like “how is your day going” shows the other person that you care about them and their feelings. Never let any issue go too long without discussing it. You would be so surprised how a simple adult conversation about any problem can have a great outcome. Notice I said “adult” conversation. This means listening to everything the other person has to say before making your comments. Don’t argue, listen and speak with considerate words.

To me, having fun is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship. There absolutely has to be laughter for it to work. Even if all the other things are there, if laughter if not present, it won’t last. This is why I think I have always tried to bring a smile to people’s faces. I like to tell funny stories, I like to share funny moments and tell jokes. Seeing someone else laugh because of me is really a true joy. I can’t really explain it, but it makes me feel so good inside. Besides jokes, I think having fun is all about trying new things and going to new places. I am always open to try new adventures. Hiking, picnics, amusement parks, restaurants, movies, bars, clubs, nights out on the town, the beach, sports or other psychical activities, traveling, four wheeling, jet skiing, and cruising are just a few of the things I like doing. I also think chilling at home can be really fun too. I love board games and cuddling and watching movies.

Last, but not least, I think being social is really important. I love being around crowds of friends and family. Friends and family are everything in life. And this subject ties nicely into one very important word: trust. It is all about trust in a relationship. Without trust, there is no relationship. I think for the most part, a lot of people have jealousy issues. We are all guilty of it at one time or another. To me, jealousy spells immaturity and insecurity though, which cannot exist in a relationship. You have to allow your significant other to have his or her own life outside of your life together. It is healthy. This means not getting pissed off when you see that a guy friend has called your girlfriend. I have found over the years that having a person of the opposite sex as a friend is very helpful and gives you a good perspective on things. Men and women have different angles on different perspectives and being able to get feedback and advice from each sex helps with any situation you may find yourself in, good or bad. Also, hanging out with the boys or girls, whichever your case may be, is needed from time to time. You can’t just spend every waking hour of each day with your significant other. Everyone needs time to do their own thing and experience life on their own time as well as with others. If you can’t give that respect to your significant other, than you are selling them short in life.

These are just a few of the things I think are important in relationships. Whether you agree or not does not matter, as everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that.

In this past year and a half, I've had some terrible shit happen to me. I've lost two grandmothers (same day exactly one year apart), canceled a wedding, lost my black lab Roxy, had some shitty luck with my house, and my car continues to play havoc with me. But, I always try to keep my head high. I have a whole new perspective on life and the joys it can bring.

I hope some of the feelings and insights I’ve shared today can bring you more success and joy within your life and relationships.

Jonathon

**blackcar** · 08-07-2009, 06:38 PM

Very well said

Btw we are about the same age

**310stanger** · 08-07-2009, 06:43 PM

turn in your man card at the local turn in your man card "box".

Joke man, umm yeah. women suck

**cammed goat** · 08-07-2009, 06:47 PM

I am 32. Single and co owner of my house. I have a steady job but I am looking into other prospects like 401k. I wanna date, but up here, all the Metro guys get the ladies. Kinda @$$ backwards.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 08-07-2009, 06:47 PM

Haha. Yeah I know right...about both...man card and women!

**02transamce** · 08-07-2009, 08:21 PM

if you think dating sucks...wait till marriage! just kidding,the right one is out there,just don't get in a hurry and force it with the wrong one.

**310stanger** · 08-07-2009, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by cammed goat

I am 32. Single and co owner of my house. I have a steady job but I am looking into other prospects like 401k. I wanna date, but up here, all the Metro guys get the ladies. Kinda @$$ backwards.

you are 32 and dont have a 401k yet? good luck retiring bro lol how long you been at where you are at?

**c5z28** · 08-07-2009, 10:10 PM

That was a well written piece. I have never had any luck in the woman department so shit on me

**ksstamp09** · 08-07-2009, 10:30 PM

thank you for posting this. it was something i needed to hear after just having to break off a gf of 2 years. this wasnt what we had an its great to know i made the right decision.

thanks again.

**Goat-E** · 08-07-2009, 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by c5z28

That was a well written piece. I have never had any luck in the woman department so shit on me

You just try to borrow everybody's ex for a couple of minutes. LOL So how did mine work out for you?

Have you PM'd him for pics yet?

**bmyers** · 08-07-2009, 10:41 PM

wow longest post ever

**knightryda01** · 08-07-2009, 11:22 PM

Go out and buy a minivan... All the chicks will be checkin ya out. The major bonue is You will always have room for their kids.

**Spikito** · 08-08-2009, 12:09 AM

I'm 22, recently gave up on women, yeah, im young, kiss my ass, you dont know the story.

but what i was saying is that I already have a 403b....too early? lol

**infantryws6** · 08-08-2009, 06:52 AM

www.nomarriage.com, women are all crazy bitches, and hookers are cheaper

**INMY01TA** · 08-08-2009, 06:58 AM

You wasted your good years (and hers) with the wrong woman. You will now be alone for ever.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 08-08-2009, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by INMY01TA

You wasted your good years (and hers) with the wrong woman. You will now be alone for ever.

That's what I am thinking lol. 24-30 was when I was in my prime. Now I'm an old man haha.

**INMY01TA** · 08-08-2009, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

That's what I am thinking lol. 24-30 was when I was in my prime. Now I'm an old man haha.

I'm just messing with ya. I'm 38 got married 2 months ago. We met about a year and a half ago and all has been great since. I wouldn't worry about this stuff. Just hang with the boys.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 08-08-2009, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by INMY01TA

I'm just messing with ya. I'm 38 got married 2 months ago. We met about a year and a half ago and all has been great since. I wouldn't worry about this stuff. Just hang with the boys.

No worries man. I know. I'm just messing too. I think my biggest hangup on women is that now that I'm single after all this time, I still think I am 24. I don't look my age or feel my age at all (granted I know 31 isn't old). Therefore, it seems all the girls I am attracted to are a lot younger than me (22-25). In my experience, girls this age don't want anything to do with guys my age.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 08-08-2009, 07:35 AM

Oh, and by the way, congrats man. That's awesome. It's never too late.

**c5z28** · 08-08-2009, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

No worries man. I know. I'm just messing too. I think my biggest hangup on women is that now that I'm single after all this time, I still think I am 24. I don't look my age or feel my age at all (granted I know 31 isn't old). Therefore, it seems all the girls I am attracted to are a lot younger than me (22-25). In my experience, girls this age don't want anything to do with guys my age.

You just need to buy a vette