Confussing exgirlfriend

[Toadman]

My other thread got locked from people bashing women. Pleas no women bashing in this tread. I'm just looking for advice. This was the last quote I havent got to respond to yet.

QUOTE]Does she suffer from depression? [/QUOTE]

She told me she does some. She doesn't have much self estemm most of the time and sometimes says she hates her life. We were supposed to go see a movie sa. as friends. I talked to her last nite and made her mad and now she doesnt want to do anything sat. So now I'm gonna have to get her to trust me again. I would like to be friends but its so hard because we dated. How can I go about this because I keep blowing it everytime we talk? Before we did date she liked me and we became good friends and she fell my personality.

[SSCO80]

Well, i can honestly say i've been there, except my gal was "manic/depressive"...Let me tell you that from what i can tell and have experienced, it certainly seems to be very real disease/serious problem. Sometimes she was all great and happy-everything was more than great, however, sometimes i would come home and it would be like "what the hell happened to you?"... The fact that your making her mad all the time is part of it, i think she may realize the she's not happy in her present state 'depressive etc." and thus unknowingly takes it out on you. It was very tough and i'm sorry but this story does not have a happy ending, things fell apart as they did for you. As a matter of fact i reread your story again and it sounds almost identical. I gave her tons of time but, in the end it was somethign that she need to work on....Do i think she's depressive...yes i do, i think people would be surprised at just how common an issue it is. You can try and stick around as much as possible but, ultimately its up to her to try and get herself back on track sort to speak...it maybe a rough ride though.

[Toadman]

Yeah. Shes so confusing. She did take alot out on me and said she took it out on the people closest to her. Maybe she has that.

[BIGRED Z]

First of all, you need to realize you can't make her like you, can't make her believe in her own self worth, can't make her think/do/feel anything. She has control of those things. She has to realize she has value as a person on her own, unfortunately you can't will someone to have good self esteem. That comes from within. Thinking you can do it for her is only inviting trouble.

Someone mentioned something about "always making her mad" That's a cop out. The only person who controls their emotions is that person. You choose how to react to something. And if someone chooses to be mad about every action you make, is that really a friendship worth pursuing? (Unless you really are doing something to piss her off every time you see her, in which case, I'd drop you too.)

But if everything I did pissed someone off, and I wasn't trying to piss them off, I'd assume perhaps they have a problem and are misunderstanding my intentions. Regardless, that would take up way too much time and effort to have to defend my every thought and deed when I was only trying to help that person...in which case I would cut ties with that kinda of person.

Sometimes people have problems only they can fix. And until they do, they suck everyone around them into their pity party, or you end up as their only source of self esteem...which doesn't ever fix anything...

Good luck to you.

Lori

[Mr. Luos]

Move on.

[tnthub]

If you are having this many problems at this point you should probably upgrade to someone who is better adjusted. I'm not saying to be a jerk or to not be nice, but you can do better if you hang with someone who is more of an equal rather than a medical challenge.

[transamprincess98]

Toad after a relationship it takes time to rebuild a friendship and many times it doesn't work. Usually, one of the people involved still has risidule love/feelings from the relationship and that causes the friendship boundary to never remain in tact.

After some time you may be able to have a friendship, but at this current time I think you both need to heal some.