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  1. 03-20-2007, 10:31 PM #1
    djvaly
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    Talking Chuck Norris to the rescue...

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

    Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

    Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

    Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

    When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

    Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

    Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
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  2. 03-20-2007, 10:35 PM #2
    CaptainCaveMan
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    Mexican killed my car

    Jesus christ i thought this shit was dead
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  3. 03-20-2007, 10:36 PM #3
    djvaly
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  4. 03-20-2007, 10:45 PM #4
    snaggeltooth
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    He also got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee
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  5. 03-20-2007, 10:47 PM #5
    CaptainCaveMan
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    Mexican killed my car

    I'm having chuck norris poll flashbacks over here
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  6. 03-20-2007, 10:49 PM #6
    djvaly
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by snaggeltooth View Post
    He also got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee
    Bruce Lee was da man!
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  7. 03-21-2007, 04:33 AM #7
    Spaz
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  8. 03-21-2007, 04:49 AM #8
    lakmflx
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  9. 03-21-2007, 05:01 AM #9
    tater_salad
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    Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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  10. 03-21-2007, 05:17 AM #10
    Spaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by lakmflx View Post
    Click for full size


    Click for full size



    Click for full size

    OWNED!!!
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  11. 03-21-2007, 05:48 AM #11
    Spaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Real Spaz View Post
    Click for full size
    Quote Originally Posted by The Real Spaz View Post
    Click for full size
    OWNED!!!
    old fart... he probably had a bionic hip replacement done...
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  12. 03-21-2007, 06:10 AM #12
    djvaly
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  13. 03-21-2007, 06:12 AM #13
    ss~zoso~ss
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    chuck Norris can slam revolving doors

    chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
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  14. 03-21-2007, 06:31 AM #14
    Spaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by ss~zoso~ss View Post
    chuck Norris can slam revolving doors

    chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
    chuck norris can do great depends comercials...
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  15. 03-21-2007, 06:47 AM #15
    djvaly
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    On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.
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  16. 03-21-2007, 06:48 AM #16
    djvaly
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    There are no disabled people, only people who have met Chuck Norris.
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  17. 03-21-2007, 06:48 AM #17
    SexOnWheels
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    Chuck Norris is an internet gawd.

    His legend will just continue to grow!
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  18. 03-21-2007, 06:54 AM #18
    Spaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by SexOnWheels View Post
    Chuck Norris is an internet gawd.

    His legend will just continue to grow!
    along with his well groomed ear hair...
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  19. 03-21-2007, 07:05 AM #19
    djvaly
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    he don't have a chin behind the beard, he's got another fist
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  20. 03-21-2007, 09:05 AM #20
    lakmflx
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Real Spaz View Post
    along with his well groomed ear hair...
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...48814829516828

    did you say hair? LOL
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