Can trust be rebuilt?

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 04:21 PM

Man I gotinto heavy with a friend of mine(lady) she invaded my privacy and manipulated me,lied to her brother(and caused us to almost have a confrontation) but i busted her and called her out and jammed her up about everything, THIS is tough i told her I forgave her after all the pleading and begging for forgiveness she did, but i told her i never wanted to see her again and we would not be cool any more, i really liked her but man.......I wonder sometime if that was to harsh........

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 04:28 PM

guys anybody?

**krese** · 03-24-2011, 04:29 PM

only one that can answer the question is you.....

me, i have no room for this in my life... there are lots of new people out there.... no reason to hold on to those that lie/cheat/manipulate

(this wisdom brought to you by SoCo 100proof)

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 03-24-2011, 04:45 PM

You did the right thing bro, if you take her back she'll see it as weakness and all the lies/manipulation will just get worse. So in reality you have no choice.

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by krese

only one that can answer the question is you.....

me, i have no room for this in my life... there are lots of new people out there.... no reason to hold on to those that lie/cheat/manipulate

(this wisdom brought to you by SoCo 100proof)

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

You did the right thing bro, if you take her back she'll see it as weakness and all the lies/manipulation will just get worse. So in reality you have no choice.

Thanks guys...

**Sarge** · 03-24-2011, 04:47 PM

Nope. One strike and your out.

**c5z28** · 03-24-2011, 04:52 PM

Vague story, different answers for different circumstances.

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by c5z28

Vague story, different answers for different circumstances.

Do you guys want details?

**Smittro** · 03-24-2011, 05:05 PM

I was brought up to forgive people because people mess up sometimes..

But with forgiveness also has to come self humility on thier part (you know, when just a "sorry" does'nt cut it) proving they are once again, "trust worthy"..

In other words, they would have to earn that trust back..

How EVER long it takes...

Just because you forgive does'nt mean you have to forget right away...

just my .02

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by Smittro

I was brought up to forgive people because people mess up sometimes..

But with forgiveness also has to come self humility on thier part (you know, when just a "sorry" does'nt cut it) proving they are once again, "trust worthy"..

In other words, they would have to earn that trust back..

How EVER long it takes...

Just because you forgive does'nt mean you have to forget right away...

just my .02

yeah i forgave, but i decided we could not be friends after that

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Smittro

I was brought up to forgive people because people mess up sometimes..

But with forgiveness also has to come self humility on thier part (you know, when just a "sorry" does'nt cut it) proving they are once again, "trust worthy"..

In other words, they would have to earn that trust back..

How EVER long it takes...

Just because you forgive does'nt mean you have to forget right away...

just my .02

In what way would u allow the trust to be rebuilt

**Smittro** · 03-24-2011, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Murder after Midnight

yeah i forgave, but i decided we could not be friends after that

Sometimes that's the better option..

**Smittro** · 03-24-2011, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by Murder after Midnight

In what way would u allow the trust to be rebuilt

Well I'd leave that for them to figure out..

You'd have to deside through their actions when YOU are ready to trust them again..

**Zapper2003** · 03-24-2011, 05:29 PM

With a woman, no.

With a guy, sometimes.

Again, completely subjective as to the situation.

**Smittro** · 03-24-2011, 05:41 PM

I look @ it like this...

In earning back my trust they will also have to deal with the fact that the trust they lost may never return..

If they can except that and are serious about repairing the damage, then that's the mark of a friend whom just messed up..

Personally I take broken trust very seriously..

If they are not willing to do whatever it takes to fix things then they were not my friend in the first place..

In which case I let them fade into the past...

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by Smittro

I look @ it like this...

In earning back my trust they will also have to deal with the fact that the trust they lost may never return..

If they can except that and are serious about repairing the damage, then that's the mark of a friend whom just messed up..

Personally I take broken trust very seriously..

If they are not willing to do whatever it takes to fix things then they were not my friend in the first place..

In which case I let them fade into the past...

what have people done in the past to earn it back

**Zapper2003** · 03-24-2011, 05:54 PM

I don't think earning trust can be taken as something you make someone 'Do'.

**Murder after Midnight** · 03-24-2011, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by Zapper2003

I don't think earning trust can be taken as something you make someone 'Do'.

good point, i typed that by accident...not what i meant....

**Smittro** · 03-24-2011, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by Murder after Midnight

what have people done in the past to earn it back

Nothing... They stayed idiots and I moved on.... Sad but it is what it is..

**Red97GTP** · 03-24-2011, 06:12 PM

There was a girl I was really good friends with. I lent her a video camera a few years ago and it got stolen on her watch. She knew who took it and she never bothered to get it back from her.

I pretty much stopped talking to her after I found this out. She promised to buy me a new camera and bullshitted me through all this. I have since stopped talking to her and ignore her. Lying bitches like that dont get far in my book. It may sound petty, but if you break the trust between two people, it is very hard to earn back, it will always be in the back of your mind when and how they betrayed you.