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Thread: Banned from Wal Mart
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03-16-2009, 04:16 PM #1
Banned from Wal Mart
I hope this is not a repost.
This is why Bo is still working!
I know this has gone around before but it is hillarious – who couldn’t use a good laugh right now!!
Be very careful around bored husbands, their creative juices start
to overflow!!!
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips
to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally, unfortunately, my wife
is like most women ---she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
received the following letter from Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Hill,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against Mr.Hill are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people' s carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.
7.. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave
me alone?'
9. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
Look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed by, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
and last, but not least. . . .
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper
in here!!
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03-16-2009, 04:19 PM #2
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- Ponca City,ok
- Age
- 35
- Posts
- 1,669
1958 chevy pickup 283- 02 gmc z71 5.3L white
haha thats the greatest thing i have read on here of all time!!!
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03-16-2009, 04:22 PM #3
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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03-16-2009, 04:35 PM #4
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Location
- Laurel, Maryland
- Posts
- 4,975
2000 Grand Prix GTP- 2000 Trans Am WS6 M6
hahaha...fucking awesome!!!
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03-16-2009, 04:44 PM #5
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Location
- Raleigh, North Carolina
- Age
- 47
- Posts
- 368
Black- Murdered 2006 GMC Sierra
I've done the fitting room toilet paper one. Fiancee didn't think it was that funny, although everyone else did
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03-16-2009, 04:48 PM #6
Just a fancy abridged version of the "How to fuck with Wal-Mart" guide. Funny nevertheless.
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03-16-2009, 04:50 PM #7
This was originally a list of "Things to do in wal-mart" dating back from like...1997..
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03-16-2009, 04:51 PM #8
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03-16-2009, 04:57 PM #9
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
- Location
- Philly+Glenmoore, Pa
- Age
- 35
- Posts
- 4,703
Pewter Metallic- 2002 Trans Am WS6 M6 D1SC
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03-16-2009, 04:59 PM #10
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03-16-2009, 05:21 PM #11
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03-16-2009, 05:39 PM #12
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03-16-2009, 05:46 PM #13
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03-16-2009, 05:50 PM #14
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- Broken Arrow, OK
- Age
- 49
- Posts
- 23,345
Pewter metallic- 2000 Camaro SS
Does this mean 1 particular WM or are all locations included?
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03-16-2009, 06:09 PM #15
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Location
- TEXAS... U mad?
- Posts
- 6,158
Black / Stryker Blue- 2K WS.6/ 2K9 G8GT
They say you are banned for life if you shop lift, but hell.... Do they watch the camera's 24/7.... like" Look! it's Preston..... Run him outta here!!!!"
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03-16-2009, 11:46 PM #16
im sorry but i think this is retarded... one.. its a huge fucking lie.. no old man is going to do any of this said in the "letter" and two wal-mart would never send a letter to anyone liek this.. how do they know her name, her address and who her husband is.. this is a fail in my book.
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03-17-2009, 12:06 AM #17
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Location
- TEXAS... U mad?
- Posts
- 6,158
Black / Stryker Blue- 2K WS.6/ 2K9 G8GT
<-----Worked at WalMart....
<-----Did over half the shit on the list....
<-----Never got banned.....
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03-17-2009, 03:35 AM #18
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