another should I break up with my gf advice..

[ZIPPER]

Need some honest opions guys- I know my spelling sucks/grammer please don't tell me.

Ok my girl is 36 avage looking recently put on about 30 lbs 5'5 190 has one 4 y/o girl from another dude (he see the girl once a month). makes only $1,100 month after taxes has car payment of 400 and rent of 500 every month and has WIC for the girl. dad pays no child support. very happy with her shows me love and always wants to go with me EVERYWHERE I am rarely alone. she is loyal.

me: 26 unemployed at the time but have savings have no bills expect cell $50.00, rent $500 and auto insurance with is paid in full. have no kids. put on about 10 lbs since met. I know she is a very good person and nice and reasons with me. I have lost attraction for her a little (I think b/c she got heavier) starting to get really fed up that she always wants to be with me everywhere and she doesn't make much money Her family is also poor make little money.

More backround: have been togtheir for 17 months lived togethier about 4 months. little girl calls me dad and I act like her dad. before I went unemployed and even after we would go out alot/travel/eat out and have lots of fun I would pay 90% of the time but I did care. NOW ( with the past couples months)i am running short on $$$ getting bored b/c we can't go nowhere b/c of $$ and starting to think I should be with someone closer to my age with no kids..

what should I do??? She is a reallly good honest girl but.... should I look for someone younger (closer to my age) with no kids and HOPeFULLY a good person like a current g/f is??

if so how should I break it off???

[rbob93]

It would seem that you're not ready for a long term commitment. Untill you are, stay away from women that have children!!
Children = LTR in most cases.

I think you're bored with this because you weren't really in love with her in the first place. Gaining some weight shouldn't have that big effect on you if you were.
Think about it.....You find the woman you want for the rest of your life & marry her.....then she gets old & saggy & baggy & wrinkly.
You gonna kick her to the curb because she doesn't look 25??

How to break it off??
TELL HER!

[ZIPPER]

I do want to break it off but afaid if I am making a mistake and wont be able to find a mature girl around my age that doen't play mind games.. anyways I think you offered some good advice anyone else?

thanks..

[tonyjnjz]

get rid of her!!! theres WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much pussy out there brother..unless u want to live poor and support somone tahts 10 yrs older forever????

[suede]

36 avage looking, 5'5 190 have one 4 y/o girl from another dude, makes only $1,100 month after taxes, car payment of 400, rent of 500 month, WIC for the girl. dad pays no child support.

OK first ill be the asshole, If you were to see the above add in a newspaper wanted adds, would you answer that? And i cant help but to ask... Is 5'5" 190 a typo?


On the advice note, if you are losing intrest, you will end up being more frustrated, and cause even more problems the longer you will MAKE it work, plus then its not as enjoyable. As for girls your age i would say your probably better off, yea some can be a PITA, but there are alot of down to earth good girls out there too.. My advice would be to leave on good terms and look around, the whole daughter thing can be a hassle down the road as you gain the title Step-dad... just something to ponder but ultimately its up to you...

[spydaloc]

follow your gut young man! Good women ain't easy to find. Keep your girl. If she's getting heavier, tell her in a nice way like, "Damn babygirl, WE getting too fat we gotta start exercising and walking, dieting right together...." and do that with her! She'll enjoy it and so will you. And you'll still be doing something with her and it won't be costing you nothing but some time and you'll begin to feel good and better about your girl again man... Too many families breaking apart or being torn apart because of some adversity... Adversity teaches you two things, about YOURSELF and about others! bottom line. It's not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you that matters... If you respond in a negative fashion to something it makes you feel worse and makes matters worse off than before.... So try to be as positive as possible and you'll be fine. Other's will see that positivity in you and you never know who may be watching you, someone could offer you a job or something. You never know - so don't take things for granted and don't take ! Does she deserve that from you and more so do you deserve that from yourself for yourself??? Take care young man and make the right decisions for the right reasons and you'll be just fine. God bless you and keep you.

[tnthub]

Making a choice out of fear is usually a bad idea.

I find the real hardship in your situation is there is a little girl who calls you 'Dad" who is going to have her heart broken.

Your lady friend will find her way... She got pregnant and had a kid before you came into the picture and she will ultimately find a way to take care of herself after you move on.

I doubt your issues are about her weight or anything like that... I suspect you somewhere think that you can do better than someone ten years older with child who is a financial drain.

I then hear you lacking in self confidence.....

My advice (generally) is to get out of Dodge and keep on going. Do not look back.

I was briefly married in the early 1980s. I made a big mistake. I got hammered and got married to a 34 year old gal with two little girls who was ten years older than me. It lasted a year. I felt bad and have always wanted to find a way to make it up to those little girls (who are now grown) but could never find a way to do it.

The situation for me was simple.... The Mom was verbally abusive to her daughters by calling their real Dad a jerk all the time. She sucked money out of the real Dad constantly. Yes the Mom was "hot", and yes she was exciting to be around, but at her age she should have been focused on being a good parent and I was too immature to realize that at the time. I made a mistake.

I recommend to you to think more highly of yourself, grow some self confidence, and move on... Try new things... Focus on bettering yeourself, your career options, your living situation, and your dating options.

[Detroit Power]

If you're bored and don't have money to go out, why not go excercise? Take walks together and pick up the pace when you both get more 'fit'. You'll feel better and it may not feel like so much of a burden to spend time together.

Just a suggestion.

[Nastyfoot]

Sounds like you both need to "get healthy" together. Go for walks to get in shape, etc..

Also sounds like dumping her would be the easiest of financial solutions. You let her daughter call you Dad and now you wanna leave? I dunno, I think a wiser solution is in order here, but hey, I'm no Dr. Phil.

Oh, and tell her to go to the state and have them get the dead beat father of the girl to pay up his child support. Frikkin' deadbeats piss me off!

[zero_proto]

yeah dude if you are not ready, move on, don't wait longer and make it worse. If you do have feelings for her make her ass start jogging.

[AKIRA]

[SIZE="6"]5'5 190 has one 4 y/o girl from another dude [/SIZE

]

That is enough right there.

[ls1blackbeauty98]

ill chime in...

5'5 190 is a big girl. i think "loving someone no matter what" is kinda old fashion these days, letting yourself gain 30 lbs tells me that ure settling in the relationship and u arent really caring anymore because you have the thought "my bf/gf should love me no matter what" when in reality being physically attracted to someone is an important part in a relationship (not MOST important, but important). I feel bad for her but if u arent attracted to her anymore, and you're fed up with the situation then you need to move on.

I personally think a 36 year old should have more to show for herself, atleast i hope to have more at 36. good luck. let her go, its gonna break her heart but if ure serious enough to come onto an internet webiste to post something like this, ure over the relationship.

[Spaz]

ill chime in...

5'5 190 is a big girl. i think "loving someone no matter what" is kinda old fashion these days, letting yourself gain 30 lbs tells me that ure settling in the relationship and u arent really caring anymore because you have the thought "my bf/gf should love me no matter what" when in reality being physically attracted to someone is an important part in a relationship (not MOST important, but important). I feel bad for her but if u arent attracted to her anymore, and you're fed up with the situation then you need to move on.

I personally think a 36 year old should have more to show for herself, atleast i hope to have more at 36. good luck. let her go, its gonna break her heart but if ure serious enough to come onto an internet webiste to post something like this, ure over the relationship.

she is showing 30lbs more...

[Spaz]

she is showing 30lbs more...

oh yeah... btw... the 30lbs gain is because you got her pregnant...

[ZIPPER]

get rid of her!!! theres WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much pussy out there brother..unless u want to live poor and support somone tahts 10 yrs older forever????

I thought about that too, i do not want to live poor nor should i have too I have tried to tell to get a new job but she doesn't even try.

[ZIPPER]

OK first ill be the asshole, If you were to see the above add in a newspaper wanted adds, would you answer that? And i cant help but to ask... Is 5'5" 190 a typo?

nope she is 5'5' or 5'6 max she has HIPS and ass. wen she weighed 150-160 (in clothes at least lol) she looked pretty good imo. she does weight 190 pound now.


On the advice note, if you are losing intrest, you will end up being more frustrated, and cause even more problems the longer you will MAKE it work, plus then its not as enjoyable. As for girls your age i would say your probably better off, yea some can be a PITA, but there are alot of down to earth good girls out there too.. My advice would be to leave on good terms and look around, the whole daughter thing can be a hassle down the road as you gain the title Step-dad... just something to ponder but ultimately its up to you...

I think i already lost interest/frustrated and just with her just b/c. and your right it is not as enjoyable as before..

[Spaz]

I think i already lost interest/frustrated and just with her just b/c. and your right it is not as enjoyable as before..

now if she lost that weight... maybe even a bit more do yo think it would spark intrest for you again???

[ZIPPER]

follow your gut young man! Good women ain't easy to find. Keep your girl. If she's getting heavier, tell her in a nice way like, "Damn babygirl, WE getting too fat we gotta start exercising and walking, dieting right together...." and do that with her! She'll enjoy it and so will you. And you'll still be doing something with her and it won't be costing you nothing but some time and you'll begin to feel good and better about your girl again man... Too many families breaking apart or being torn apart because of some adversity... Adversity teaches you two things, about YOURSELF and about others! bottom line. It's not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you that matters... If you respond in a negative fashion to something it makes you feel worse and makes matters worse off than before.... So try to be as positive as possible and you'll be fine. Other's will see that positivity in you and you never know who may be watching you, someone could offer you a job or something. You never know - so don't take things for granted and don't take ! Does she deserve that from you and more so do you deserve that from yourself for yourself??? Take care young man and make the right decisions for the right reasons and you'll be just fine. God bless you and keep you.

I think I am very good at seeing thing positivitly I think I am done.. As for the exercising thing we go like 3-4 times a week for the past 5 years with a buddy of mind (even before I met my current g/f). she does about 45 mins of cardio and I only lift with my friend I don't do any cardio really thats is why I have a 10-15 pound gut but strong everywhere else..

[ZIPPER]

Making a choice out of fear is usually a bad idea.

I find the real hardship in your situation is there is a little girl who calls you 'Dad" who is going to have her heart broken.

yeah I know I think it will be harder to break away from the little then my g/f

Your lady friend will find her way... She got pregnant and had a kid before you came into the picture and she will ultimately find a way to take care of herself after you move on.

yeah she did wen she left the other dude for being abusive

I doubt your issues are about her weight or anything like that... I suspect you somewhere think that you can do better than someone ten years older with child who is a financial drain.

exactly!!! How I feel specially now.

I then hear you lacking in self confidence.....

I think I may have slight self confidence issue but who doesn't? you know wen you see that girl u like but don't know what to talk about..

My advice (generally) is to get out of Dodge and keep on going. Do not look back.
got it sounds good to me..

I was briefly married in the early 1980s. I made a big mistake. I got hammered and got married to a 34 year old gal with two little girls who was ten years older than me. It lasted a year. I felt bad and have always wanted to find a way to make it up to those little girls (who are now grown) but could never find a way to do it.

The situation for me was simple.... The Mom was verbally abusive to her daughters by calling their real Dad a jerk all the time. She sucked money out of the real Dad constantly. Yes the Mom was "hot", and yes she was exciting to be around, but at her age she should have been focused on being a good parent and I was too immature to realize that at the time. I made a mistake.

That is what also makes it hard for me b/c my g/f is a really good mother. I ask myself will the other girl I find be a good mother if we happen to have kids on top of being a good girl to me..

I recommend to you to think more highly of yourself, grow some self confidence, and move on... Try new things... Focus on bettering yeourself, your career options, your living situation, and your dating options.

sounds like good advice thanks..

** I responed to other thing too read the quote**.

[ZIPPER]

If you're bored and don't have money to go out, why not go excercise? Take walks together and pick up the pace when you both get more 'fit'. You'll feel better and it may not feel like so much of a burden to spend time together.

Just a suggestion.

Been doing that we even take walks to the store..