another new personal best......idiot move of the week

**0rion** · 11-23-2007, 03:52 PM

Some of you guys may or may not remember my previous personal best so I'll remind you. Last summer I was picking up sticks around the property and had a fire going burning them. I towed a bigger limb back with my mower and when I got off to put it on the fire my foot kicked the mower into gear which then ran into the middle of the fire and got stuck. I then tried pulling the mower out and engaged the blades slinging my fire all over the back yard. That was my previous personal best idiot move. Today I topped that one.

I'm working on those crappy brakes I posted pics of. Well, I went to buy the caliper except they didn't have the bracket in stock so I came back home to take the bracket off of the original caliper only to find that one of the pins was frozen into place. I take it out to the shed and put it in a vice and heat the caliper up to try and work the pin loose. The problem was everytime I would twist on it the caliper would slip in the vice. So I lined everything back up and take a hammer to hit the vice handle with to really clamp that sucker into place. I'm not sure if it was my 3rd or 4th swing because everythings still a little blurry but I missed the handle and hit myself square in the balls with the hammer. I'm not talking about a slight tap on the nads or a glancing blow. I hit myself in the balls pretty squarely with a fair amount of force. I had to sit down for about 30 minutes before I could even function much less walk anywhere. My balls are still sore and I fully expect to start pissing blood at some point. So that's my new number 1 move. Hammer to the balls.

**Mr. Luos** · 11-23-2007, 03:54 PM

**JwMonE99** · 11-23-2007, 03:55 PM

Could of been worst...

but that sucks man, I hope u feel better

**Sarge** · 11-23-2007, 04:44 PM

Orion......son.....maybe you should seriously consider paying folks to do yard work and brake jobs.....

**0rion** · 11-23-2007, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Sarge

Orion......son.....maybe you should seriously consider paying folks to do yard work and brake jobs.....

yeah, but I enjoy doing them so much.....well, except for the fires and hammer to the balls trick. Other than that I like doing it.

**cdz28** · 11-23-2007, 04:50 PM

hahaha

**Y2KPewterSS** · 11-23-2007, 05:21 PM

**dlmeadows** · 11-23-2007, 06:38 PM

man I hope you already have all the children you want cause it aint lookin good for ya lol. get yourself a bag of frozen peas

**chuckie669** · 11-23-2007, 06:51 PM

Dude, I'm soo sorry... But I woke my wife and daughter up I laughed so hard.

You should create some new phrases from the brake job acronym. Bashed Junk? Broke Jock?

**0rion** · 11-23-2007, 06:58 PM

I don't know about acronyms but I created a few new cuss words.....under a muffled breath.

It's hard to speak clearly after a hammer shot to the nads. I guess I can just start wearing a cup whenever I'm working the vice. Maybe it's just my shed in general. I had my welding helmet slam shut and hit me in the face earlier today out there. I had it on with a ball cap and had just put it on and turned around for something and WHAP right in the face.

**dlmeadows** · 11-23-2007, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

I don't know about acronyms but I created a few new cuss words.....under a muffled breath.

It's hard to speak clearly after a hammer shot to the nads. I guess I can just start wearing a cup whenever I'm working the vice. Maybe it's just my shed in general. I had my welding helmet slam shut and hit me in the face earlier today out there. I had it on with a ball cap and had just put it on and turned around for something and WHAP right in the face.

dude that happens to me about 5 times whenever i get near my welder lol. once like a dumbass I forgot to close the tinted glass before i started welding. that hurts for a couple of days too lol.

**chuckie669** · 11-23-2007, 07:08 PM

I've been lucky with my car, but I swear my grill is haunted. I had to shave my head with barbers shears once, after the ignitor wouldn't work at the beginning and long story short, was missing allot of hair on arms face and hairline.

**Mr. Luos** · 11-23-2007, 07:20 PM

Pics or BS

**chuckie669** · 11-23-2007, 07:31 PM

Yeah, no pics. That was not something anyone other than my wife would ever see. Soon as the chicken was done cooking I had to go down to a 3 guard to get all the little burnt nappy pieces off my head.

**ss~zoso~ss** · 11-23-2007, 07:35 PM

Here's Your Sign

**derrinx** · 11-23-2007, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

Some of you guys may or may not remember my previous personal best so I'll remind you. Last summer I was picking up sticks around the property and had a fire going burning them. I towed a bigger limb back with my mower and when I got off to put it on the fire my foot kicked the mower into gear which then ran into the middle of the fire and got stuck. I then tried pulling the mower out and engaged the blades slinging my fire all over the back yard. That was my previous personal best idiot move. Today I topped that one.

I'm working on those crappy brakes I posted pics of. Well, I went to buy the caliper except they didn't have the bracket in stock so I came back home to take the bracket off of the original caliper only to find that one of the pins was frozen into place. I take it out to the shed and put it in a vice and heat the caliper up to try and work the pin loose. The problem was everytime I would twist on it the caliper would slip in the vice. So I lined everything back up and take a hammer to hit the vice handle with to really clamp that sucker into place. I'm not sure if it was my 3rd or 4th swing because everythings still a little blurry but I missed the handle and hit myself square in the balls with the hammer. I'm not talking about a slight tap on the nads or a glancing blow. I hit myself in the balls pretty squarely with a fair amount of force. I had to sit down for about 30 minutes before I could even function much less walk anywhere. My balls are still sore and I fully expect to start pissing blood at some point. So that's my new number 1 move. Hammer to the balls.

omg i can't breathe... i totally didnt see that coming lmaoooooooooo

thats what you get for trying to help people!

**Speedy_Gonzales** · 11-23-2007, 10:22 PM

Orion sing some soprano and post audio

**0rion** · 11-23-2007, 10:30 PM

do you realize just what the odds are of hitting yourself in the nads with a hammer? I don't know what they are but they have to be up there with hitting the lottery kinda odds. I would also assume they would be about the same odds as running your lawn mower into a fire. With the mower I had an audience. My wife was screaming like a banshee at me to get away from the mower and the fire and my little boy was bawling his eyes out thinking I was on fire.

It was a sight to see. This round when I tried to drive my pecker in like a 10 penny nail I was all alone to enjoy the moment. I'm wondering if there'll be any psychological effects from this. Think I'll start to shake and break out in sweats in hardware depts. at the stores now?

**Knighthawk LS1** · 11-23-2007, 10:45 PM

I think LS1.com has found their HOMER SIMPSON

**0rion** · 11-23-2007, 10:48 PM

the thing is I rarely do stuff like this. I guess I'm just getting older and either my hand eye coordination ain't what it used to be or my better judgement ain't what it used to be. I was known at work to point out stupid stuff people done on a regular basis so I always had to be on my A-game or people would come down on me hard.

I rarely goofed up. The last year or so it seems like the odds are catching up to me.