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I Smoked Him Like a Dirt Weed Joint

This is a discussion on I Smoked Him Like a Dirt Weed Joint within the Kill Stories forums, part of the Racing Forums category; I eased up next to him just as the traffic light was turning red....His drivers side window was rolled half ...

  1. #1
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    I Smoked Him Like a Dirt Weed Joint

    I eased up next to him just as the traffic light was turning red....His drivers side window was rolled half way down but he didn't notice that I was there...I bumped my tranny into neutral and gave my gas pedal a quick, hard jab....the deafening roar from my FloMaster muffler made the hair dance around on his goofy looking head as the vibrations resonated throughout his cab....He slowly tilted his head back and turned to glance in my direction....I could not see his eyes because of his BlueBlocker wrap around sunglasses but I did observe his left eyebrow raise....I gave him a look as if he were "Dale Jarret" and I was going to show him "what brown could do for me"....I mouthed the word "PUNK" and his head rolled back to face foward....when I saw his right shoulder drop to select first gear, thats when I knew ... IT WAS ON !!.... just as the cross traffics' light turned yellow, I eased up about a foot ahead of him and started to powerbrake slightly....my hands were shaking.....my right foot was quivering on the loud pedal.....his confidence showed apparent because he didn't pull foward to match my lead....halfway through the cross traffics yellow light I heard his engine began to climb the RPM scale higher and higher...half a milli-second before our light turned green, he side-stepped the clutch and his tires began to scream in pain....hundreds of birds that where resting on the highwires flew away....small children ran crying for their mamas'...I floored my Scare-maro and released the brake simutaniously and blew past him within about 15 feet.....his '91 Toyota pickup didn't stand a candybars chance at a WeightWatchers meeting....when I got to my house, he pulled up behind me, got out of his truck and said, "Dad, I think I burned up my clutch....will you help me change it out?"....I said, "sure son, call PepBoys and see if they have one in stock".
    Last edited by Mr.B; 09-05-2006 at 05:47 AM.

  2. #2
    Impounded MikeSomething's Avatar
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    Is this a kill story or a E.A. Poe kinda tale?? You smoked a '91 Toyota Pickup? Good job...I guess.

  3. #3
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    lmao...pretty funnny...ill have to write u my kill storys from now on and u can revise them for me and post

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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeSomething View Post
    You smoked a '91 Toyota Pickup? Good job...I guess.
    I happen to know that this paticular Toyota pickup is easily capable of sub 20 second quarter mile times.....as long as the spare tire has been removed for weight reduction.

  5. #5
    Member jasonisdn's Avatar
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    lmao , i liked it. sounds like when i ran my father in his 79 HD 4x4 zz9 chevy pickup.

  6. #6
    Impounded MikeSomething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.B View Post
    I happen to know that this paticular Toyota pickup is easily capable of sub 20 second quarter mile times.....as long as the spare tire has been removed for weight reduction.
    Sub 20sec 1/4 mile times...LMAO, like a Honda Civic?

  7. #7
    Senior Member ss~zoso~ss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.B View Post
    I eased up next to him just as the traffic light was turning red....His drivers side window was rolled half way down but he didn't notice that I was there...I bumped my tranny into neutral and gave my gas pedal a quick, hard jab....the deafening roar from my FloMaster muffler made the hair dance around on his goofy looking head as the vibrations resonated throughout his cab....He slowly tilted his head back and turned to glance in my direction....I could not see his eyes because of his BlueBlocker wrap around sunglasses but I did observe his left eyebrow raise....I gave him a look as if he were "Dale Jarret" and I was going to show him "what brown could do for me"....I mouthed the word "PUNK" and his head rolled back to face foward....when I saw his right shoulder drop to select first gear, thats when I knew ... IT WAS ON !!.... just as the cross traffics' light turned yellow, I eased up about a foot ahead of him and started to powerbrake slightly....my hands were shaking.....my right foot was quivering on the loud pedal.....his confidence showed apparent because he didn't pull foward to match my lead....halfway through the cross traffics yellow light I heard his engine began to climb the RPM scale higher and higher...half a milli-second before our light turned green, he side-stepped the clutch and his tires began to scream in pain....hundreds of birds that where resting on the highwires flew away....small children ran crying for their mamas'...I floored my Scare-maro and releast the brake simutaniously and blew past him within about 15 feet.....his '91 Toyota pickup didn't stand a candybars chance at a WeightWatchers meeting....when I got to my house, he pulled up behind me, got out of his truck and said, "Dad, I think I burned up my clutch....will you help me change it out?"....I said, "sure son, call PepBoys and see if they have one in stock".
    have you graded my english term paper yet professor?

  8. #8
    Member Daniel P.'s Avatar
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    roflmao, reminds me of messin with my cousin in his '89 isuzu 4x4. Bored and stroked 4 banger complete with a 12" glasspack and 4" chrome tip, loud as hell.

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    great story, you should write books instead of changing clutches.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Street Lethal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.B
    ...the deafening roar from my FloMaster muffler made the hair dance around on his goofy looking head as the vibrations resonated throughout his cab. He slowly tilted his head back and turned to glance in my direction. I could not see his eyes because of his BlueBlocker wrap around sunglasses but I did observe his left eyebrow raise.
    I smell pulitzer prize...

  11. #11
    Pathelogical Liar BlackLT1Z28's Avatar
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    That was great. Funny shit.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ss~zoso~ss View Post
    have you graded my english term paper yet professor?
    Don't miss, "releast the brake"......

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deuuuce View Post
    Don't miss, "releast the brake"......
    Tough Crowd.

  14. #14
    Evr sena bdgr killa snak? Roastem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.B View Post
    Tough Crowd.

    Everybody is a critic...

    I liked it though, very interesting and good detail. Has some grammatical error.

    A-

    Have the revision in by Friday.

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    teach that youngster a lesson!

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    Member silverz28camaro's Avatar
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    man i was really getting into it. i thought the other guy would have had a mustang at least, but yeah funny ending

  17. #17
    Junior Member swimster144's Avatar
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    haha, funny story...

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    I agree B+ due to grammatical error and a real kill expected....

  19. #19
    Member 05gtoautoX's Avatar
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    LMAO, I thought it was good even with the spelling error, reminds me of me and my dad.

  20. #20
    Member 98Z-28Camaro's Avatar
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    funniest thing I have read in awhile.

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