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04-04-2007, 04:08 AM #1
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Age
- 59
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Hugger Orange/W stripes- 1999 Z28 M6
Why did the chicken cross the road? Perspectives.
From an e-mail I got.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the
road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW"
problems.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part
of life,
I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will
remain against it.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see
it in his eyes and the way he walks.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road.
It's as plain and as simple as that.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of
eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^( C .. ... reboot.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?Last edited by jad628; 08-13-2008 at 08:57 AM.
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