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    Speak the truth jad628's Avatar
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    Why did the chicken cross the road? Perspectives.

    From an e-mail I got.

    Why did the Chicken cross the road?
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
    he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road
    before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the
    road.
    What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
    not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW"
    problems.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
    why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
    chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part
    of life,
    I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
    across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
    chickens.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    GEORGE W BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
    want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
    The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
    ground here.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
    image of the chicken crossing the road...
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
    yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
    against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
    about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will
    remain against it.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see
    it in his eyes and the way he walks.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
    had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
    the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
    insider information.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
    been told.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
    truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
    side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my
    friends, that chicken is gay.
    And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
    boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
    liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
    "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road.
    It's as plain and as simple as that.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
    enough.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
    to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
    of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
    accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
    in peace.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of
    eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
    cra...#@&&^( C .. ... reboot.
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
    beneath the chicken?
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
    definition of chicken?
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?
    Last edited by jad628; 08-13-2008 at 08:57 AM.

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