What do yall think

[Ramairgod84]

I've been going out with my fiance for 4 years. We have a long distance relationship, and she's on the other side of the country. She's scheduled to move here in january. We get along great in person, yet we're bad on the phone. We've been engaged since july. I've always been the one to call her, because she cant afford a normal long distance plan like I have. She pays $5 a month for an extra phone line in her house, and I call at 1030 at night so I dont interrupt her shows ( survivor, house, ect). She works as a missuse and rents a room at a salon. She recently let go of the room, so in jan she'll be out of there. Since then someone else has already put a deposit down for her space. We're trying to get her to move here, which she says she wants to. She's a bit lazy, and needs constant reminding to get things done (paperwork). Yet when I get on her about stuff, she complains and says to me to quit nagging her, that when people nag her to get things done, she's less apt to do them. But when people leave her alone, she's more willing to do them. Before me she was single for 3 years. She lives at home with her parents, and brother when he's there. She's a bit self centered, as things are always done to make her life easier (phone times). I've felt like I've been doing all the work lately, and I've told her that. Weve had a few fights where I told her that I can't put out any more effort than I have. I've been working alot of overtime, so that when she gets here, we'll have more money. While on the weekends, she's been going out with her friends alot more lately. She smokes when she drinks, and I've always hated that, and she knows it. She's never blatently smoked around me but once back in college. She told me a while back, that she hadnt smoked for a long time, because she didnt feel the need to. So I asked her recently if she did the previous weekend and she said yes. She has a christmas party this weekend (meanwhile I'll be working from 7am today (saturday) straight through till sunday at 7pm). With her work girls. So I asked her if she would refrain from smoking, because I despise it so much, and she replies, well I dont know if I can do that. And then the fight started. I never tell her not to do things. Im not that kind of controlling freak. I know alot of guys would be going nuts in my situation, but I've always thought of myself as being fair. I never tell her not to do anything. The only time I've asked her not to do something, was when she was going to go hanggliding over the summer. I asked her not to because of the money, because she should be saving to come here. WHich she went hanggliding anyway because it looked fun. So she said she didnt know if she could do that. and that she'd be giving it up anyway when she moved here. And I thought maybe she'd think that since ive been working so much lately, that maybe it wouldnt be a big deal to just give it up for one night. Instead she said to me, well I didnt ask you to work all those shifts. And I replied with how I'm trying to save up money for her. So she had set her ringers to silent, got offline. And i kept trying to get through to her to resolve it. I've been at the end of my line lately and finally told her if i didnt get through to her tonight that i was done. That she could mail me back the ring, and maybe get back her room at work. She finally went back online and said that it wasnt worth all the fighting and that she wouldnt. But how do I know. Ive bought her so much for xmas when she'll be getting me nothing. I put out all this effort and it goes past her unnoticed. I didnt get much sleep last night, and I have to stay up 36 hours straight to work 32 hours of the 36. What am I doing wrong?

[SHines-IT]

Stopped at a certain point, reminds me of bitch. End it now, end of story move along.

[War Theory]

Stopped at a certain point, reminds me of bitch. End it now, end of story move along.

have to agree, for things to work between two people there has to be a shared effort. Clearly you are giving 120% ( due to the fact you are working all them hour's to make life easier when she comes) but I feel she is not ready to leave home. I was lucky to meet someone like me, she loves fast car's, working, the range, fucking with the car on the weekends. We both have a huge drive....I feel you are wasting your time. SOrry bro just telling you from what I have seen she is not the one......in a month maybe 2 she will see what she did and 80% of the time come running to you but you might meet someone else that how this shit works.....

[Ramairgod84]

It took a huge fight last week, telling her that I was finished in the way of putting in effort. That I had nothing left for her. After the fight, she texted me asking me not to give up on her, not this close to her coming here and us being together. The next day she went out and got 90% of her paperwork completed. It took all that for her to start pulling her weight, and then last night happens with her making it sound like me asking her to give up smoking one night was like asking her to give up breathing

[KMdef9]

Stopped at a certain point, reminds me of bitch. End it now, end of story move along.

have to agree, for things to work between two people there has to be a shared effort. Clearly you are giving 120% ( due to the fact you are working all them hour's to make life easier when she comes) but I feel she is not ready to leave home. I was lucky to meet someone like me, she loves fast car's, working, the range, fucking with the car on the weekends. We both have a huge drive....I feel you are wasting your time. SOrry bro just telling you from what I have seen she is not the one......in a month maybe 2 she will see what she did and 80% of the time come running to you but you might meet someone else that how this shit works.....

I completely agree, you don't want to waste your life on this person who seems to have a complete disreguard to what you think. There has to be respect from both ends for it to be a lasting relationship. I've been there and done that, and after it was all over, I really wish I had cut her off long before I did. I'm luckly enough to have a girl that no matter what the subject, even if it's how hot another girl is, we always agree. It's a huge stress releiver.

(Make sure you get your shit back before you tell her)

[SHines-IT]

...in a month maybe 2 she will see what she did and 80% of the time come running to you but you might meet someone else that how this shit works.....

They do, I just said, bitch fuck off. Pay me back, leave me the hell alone or I will get a restraining order.

[Ramairgod84]

Here's the kicker tho, her and I never fight in person, and we always get along. And i feel sometimes that if i gave up now, i'd always ask what if. what if she came here and it worked out. She doesnt keep up with herself either. Shes gained weight since college, up to 170 now at 5'7 and complains about her looks, yet when i offer advice on food and exersice (because im trying to get in better shape) she gets defensive. When she was here last i tried to get her to run with me, or do crunches, and she just complained till i gave up.

also to war theory, thats true. my ex who i moved up north for cheated on me with some 30 some year old drug dealer. and a few months later after we split, he did the same thing to her what she did to me ten fold. Karma's a bitch. She came back later all but begging me to take her back and I said no. And my gf doesnt really seem like she'd care if we broke up. or makes it seem that way. She's said to me before if we're done tell me now. She's gone on about how im not up to her speech standards because she has a northern accent. I say the phrase "anymore" and she criticizes it. Yet if a girl on facebook likes my statuses, she'll get into a fight with her on my page about how we're engaged and for her to back off. Also, she was bitter for a while towards me, so i finally asked her why, and she said she was bitter because she's moving out here. So I said to her wait wait wait, you're going to hold it against me that YOU made the choice to come out here? and she gave reasons like i repeat myself once in a while. Stupid little reasons. So I told her, if either of us should be bitter, it should be me. I could see you being bitter if i criticized you (like she does me), or called you names, or made you feel like shit, but I dont. She didnt have anything to say back to that. And whats stopping me so far from breaking it all off is that question of what if. What if it did work out in person. On top of it, to move her here would cost $3400 in moving fees and paperwork. She's never been with an asshole. All her previous bf's dumped her tho, cept for the one she cheated on. When i asked her why they broke up with her she got very defensive and angry.

[KMdef9]

... IMO

[rbob93]

Each day we encounter some kind of bullshit that we have no control over.
If you live from birth to age 70 you will have lived for only 25,550 days.
How many of those days do want to live with bullshit of your own choosing??

[cammed goat]

[QUOTE=rbob93;2171325]Each day we encounter some kind of bullshit that we have no control over.
If you live from birth to age 70 you will have lived for only 25,550 days.
How many of those days do want to live with bullshit of your own choosing??[/QUOTE]

I like that question. This is why I enjoy my days being single. Sounds like she is NOT committed to this relationship and you are makeing her life easier. She is taking advantage of you, I'm afraid. Long-distance relationships almost never work.

Is it THAT hard for a man to be happy by himself? I mean, I have heard many women who enjoy being single, so why can't a single guy enjoy himself? I have no regrets staying singel as I have seen immature women on a daily basis, and that immaturity stays in my mind as I am an intolerant man. If I were the OP, and I felt I was pulling the load more than her, I would be out the door.

Relationships are 50/50. NO WAY AROUND IT.
If your gut is telling you something's wrong, SOMETHING'S WRONG!!!

I'm afraid OP is being used.



inb4"BUT YOU HAVE TO PUT MORE THAN 50%" comments.

[TITAN95]

I vote strip club it will help u clear your mind

[PontiacFan]

If ya gotta write about it on a car forum & ask for other's thoughts, ..., It's over.
Kick'er to the damn curb & move on.

[0rion]

I'll admit that I didn't read the whole thing but I read enough to know that if you write that much bitching about a fiance then it's doomed. Dump her and move on. Right now you're at the point where it's very easy to do that. She's not here and you're not married. Gets much harder when those 2 conditions are met. Dump her and move on. Life's too short to spend part of it bitching about your gf.

[Y2KPewterSS]

Didn't read it, don't care too, but read what everyone else is saying and get the picture. Dump her ass and find something better.

[c5z28]

If it was true love she wouldn't be having second doubts and neither would you. She is comfortable where she is at, work, spending what she has( hang gliding etc), does not care enough to pay her own way over. Love may be hard but with love both parties work at it to make it work.

My asshole response for the day, she is 170lbs you think she will get magically skinnier with a wedding ring on her finger?

[SHines-IT]

Here's the kicker tho, her and I never fight in person, and we always get along. Blah, Blah, denial...

Does Steven have to slap a member? I thought a member was damn near going to have to slap me to open my eyes... So do I or another member going to have to slap?

[wheeliE-maxx]

damn, 5'7" 170, reason enough to dump a hoe. At 6' 180 i'm a pretty good sized dude, not skinny. Unless she just has massive tits and a long body, doubt it

[c5z28]

damn, 5'7" 170, reason enough to dump a hoe. At 6' 180 i'm a pretty good sized dude, not skinny. Unless she just has massive tits and a long body, doubt it

not at 5'7"

[wheeliE-maxx]

I meant she just has a long body for her height, maybe some midget legs. Which is nasty too.

[c5z28]

I meant she just has a long body for her height, maybe some midget legs. Which is nasty too.

I think we can agree no matter how you dice it she is not "proportional".