For those with kids would you have done this.....

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 05:59 AM

A little while ago my 4 year old was playing around the house and what he was doing was fine. But then my older brother decides that he isn't fine with so he tells my son to stop after I just said he could. So I tell brother that he isn't the parent so just leave it alone. Then he starts making if sound like I am letting my child play with knives or something really dangerous. So I tell him shut up and that he is over stepping his boundaries. And my wife was saying how what our son is doing is fine in a nice way. And my brother also basically yelled at her and disrespected her. My brother also said don't tell me what to do and got in my face. He continued to curse at me. And I said that's it back off and pushed him. He then came at me and I slammed him against the dishwasher. He tried to restrain me on the floor by the stove but it didn't work I got loose. We wrestled around for a while with me slamming him against things. He then got up and I decked him and he went down the fight was over now. I had no damage he had a huge black eye and some other stuff, he would tell people he fell down the stairs

. Now he still gets in my face about stuff, not about my son though, and acts like a bad ass even though I kicked his ass.

So I have a question would you guys who have kids done the same.

**blackcar** · 12-04-2012, 07:33 AM

Who's house? Yours, your brother's or someone else?

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 07:36 AM

My parents. I didn't break anything. If I did I would have paid for it.

**blackcar** · 12-04-2012, 07:48 AM

Do you or your brother still live there?

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 07:55 AM

I do while I finish up college and my brother does because he has to pay off some debt.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-04-2012, 08:23 AM

You should go on Jerry Springer.

***SMWS6TA*** · 12-04-2012, 08:24 AM

Even though it never got physical (I never would) me & my sister got into a very heated verbal argument about my son when he was 3. She tried spanking him for some reason, I caught her. I had been watching them and in my opinion he wasn't doing to do anything wrong. I got pissed and chewed her out, told her it wasn't her place to discipline my son, she should have come to me or my wife. Told her when she has kids one day she'll remember this. Years later she did and agreed she was wrong and understood how I felt then.

Now what your brother did, he was wrong, I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by SMWS6TA

Even though it never got physical (I never would) me & my sister got into a very heated verbal argument about my son when he was 3. She tried spanking him for some reason, I caught her. I had been watching them and in my opinion he wasn't doing to do anything wrong. I got pissed and chewed her out, told her it wasn't her place to discipline my son, she should have come to me or my wife. Told her when she has kids one day she'll remember this. Years later she did and agreed she was wrong and understood how I felt then.

Now what your brother did, he was wrong, I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

I am not loosing sleep over it, I was curious what other people thought because my wife was pissed at me and thought it was over the top. IMHO he had it coming and needed to be knocked off his high horse.

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

You should go on Jerry Springer.

Jon, you should be a comedian.

**Spaz** · 12-04-2012, 08:54 AM

we need video for review...

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by Spaz

we need video for review...

How would I have taken a video when I was beating the shit out of my brother....?

**0rion** · 12-04-2012, 09:22 AM

maybe I missed it but what was your son doing that your brother had a problem with? To me that's the key. If Zach was doing something he shouldn't and there's another adult around I would appreciate them setting him straight. You say you don't have a problem with what he was doing but I've also seen parents that let their kids do some stuff that I would never allow Zach to do. I run around with people that all have kids about the same age as mine. We rule by committee. If they see mine doing something wrong then by all means tell them to stop or come tell me and I do the same. It really sounds to me like you and your brother have some other issues maybe and this is just a trigger. Whatever it is work it out.....be consistent with your son. He can't grow up thinking he doesn't have to listen to what his uncle says because at some point he may actually be doing something he shouldn't and won't listen to your brother's advice. Again...it all depends on what he was doing.

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 09:34 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

maybe I missed it but what was your son doing that your brother had a problem with? To me that's the key. If Zach was doing something he shouldn't and there's another adult around I would appreciate them setting him straight. You say you don't have a problem with what he was doing but I've also seen parents that let their kids do some stuff that I would never allow Zach to do. I run around with people that all have kids about the same age as mine. We rule by committee. If they see mine doing something wrong then by all means tell them to stop or come tell me and I do the same. It really sounds to me like you and your brother have some other issues maybe and this is just a trigger. Whatever it is work it out.....be consistent with your son. He can't grow up thinking he doesn't have to listen to what his uncle says because at some point he may actually be doing something he shouldn't and won't listen to your brother's advice. Again...it all depends on what he was doing.

My son was sitting and cutting out shapes he drew with safety scissors and my wife and I were right there, he was not doing anything dangerous with them. I am pretty strict as a parent and my son asked if he could in this instance and I told him he could. Yeah my brother and I HATE each other or at least I HATE him. He thinks he knows better than everyone. He doesn't have kids and I hope he never does as he is self centered and everything is alcohol related. Honestly I wouldn't care if my son never listens to him because he is a bad influence and I rather he doesn't learn to bad things from him like how to disrespect women and other things. I would never let that scumbag parent or even watch my son, my parents is a different matter.

**0rion** · 12-04-2012, 09:42 AM

nothing wrong with that.....not sure it's really worth a fist fight but like you said....you guys have other issues there. Best thing is for you guys to do whatever it takes to go your separate ways. Living under the same roof is only going to make things worse. You already know all that though.

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-04-2012, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

nothing wrong with that.....not sure it's really worth a fist fight but like you said....you guys have other issues there. Best thing is for you guys to do whatever it takes to go your separate ways. Living under the same roof is only going to make things worse. You already know all that though.

Well there wouldn't have been a fight if he would have just dropped it when I told him to stop, yes I could have ignored him. I came to the same conclusion a while ago. A few weeks ago I thought we had our out with a new job but it turns out they were just wasting my time and decided not to hire me because I am still in school when the other candidates are not.

**Smittro** · 12-04-2012, 12:09 PM

I don't allow anyone to tell me how to raise my kid.. Nor reprimand her while I am standing there. If I say my kid can do something then they can do it, if I say, "no" then it's NO, period.. I don't think I would have fought him in the house if my kid was near but maybe outside or pulled him aside and cleared things up.

I also do not premit others to order my wife around (not even her own father) and certainly would never allow them to get in her face.

**tnthub** · 12-05-2012, 09:14 AM

I would be more concerned about the example you and your brother are setting for your kid than the ridiculous thing you were arguing about.

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-05-2012, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by tnthub

I would be more concerned about the example you and your brother are setting for your kid than the ridiculous thing you were arguing about.

You are entitled to your opinion. My wife kept him back so he never really saw anything. I do regret getting in the fight while he was there but I do not regret the fight itself. In my opinion it isn't a ridiculous thing to fight about since there is no reasoning with my brother maybe a bit over the top but not ridiculous, if it was someone else there would have been no fight. You don't tell someone how to parent their kids especially when you don't have any. Even more so when the thing they are doing is perfectly safe and the parent is right there watching them.

In the end there is nothing I can do about it, no point on dwelling on it. My son doesn't remember it and has had no affect on him as of yet and that is all that matters.

**wileyCoyote** · 12-05-2012, 04:00 PM

i get the impression there is some belligerent feelings between OP and OP's brother, ...no?...

if so, then collision avoidance would be good practice, especially if the boy is around.... i'd think that is pretty traumatic for the child to see his dad fighting...

**98TransAmWs-6** · 12-05-2012, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by wileyCoyote

i get the impression there is some belligerent feelings between OP and OP's brother, ...no?...

if so, then collision avoidance would be good practice, especially if the boy is around.... i'd think that is pretty traumatic for the child to see his dad fighting...

What gave you that idea? Yes, there are some belligerent feels towards my brother. I do try and just avoid him so I don't get in another fight but for some reason people want to put us together. I have started pretending he does not exist but I know I need to get out of here in order to have no problems. I have about one year left on my degree so hopefully I can move out then if not before. I hate it I am not a violent person but he brings out every ounce of rage and it comes spilling out all at once so it is so hard to control it when he is involved. I am surprised this didn't happen sooner actually.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-06-2012, 07:01 AM

I don't have kids, so my comments are probably going to go to the waste side.

However, I would have to agree about fighting in front of your children. You are giving them the impression that being violent is OK. Truth be told, it's not OK. Yes, you want your son to learn to protect himself in the event he is ever attacked, but to fight over such a minute thing is uncalled for.

Your brother told your son to not do something. I don't think those are rules for throwing punches, regardless of what words were said.

You're going to find out one day that you will confront the wrong person, and you might not be as fortunate and be able to walk away from it. There are some real nut jobs out there. People who carry knives, guns, and other weapons for the pure fact to harm others, not just self-defend.

While you say this incident did not upset your kid and he has already forgotten about it, I will disagree. He has not, nor will he ever. I remember my father getting into 2 fights before; one was with his brother. I was only 9 years old. I am now 34 and remember it very well. Did it make me want to be a violent person? Of course not, but in general, I do not like to confront people. I've sat back and watched people fight many times and have even seen someone get shot and died as a result. That isn't something that you forget and sticks with you in the back of your mind, even though you try to forget about it.

You and your brother need to sit down and have a man to man talk. Avoiding the root problem isn't going to solve anything.