Results 1 to 13 of 13
  1. #1
    Spaz is My Mentor SMWS6TA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Florida Man Status Acheivement
    Posts
    11,759

    Navy Blue Metallic
    98 T/A w/ mods, 00 FBVert

    State of PA vs Dam Builders

    This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read State's letter before you get to the response letter.

    SUBJECT: DEQ File No..97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. DeVries:

    It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

    Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

    A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

    The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2009.

    Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

    Sincerely,
    David L. Price
    District Representative and Water Management Division.


    Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:


    Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. Price,

    Your certified letter dated 12/17/08 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

    A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris."

    I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.



    These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

    My first dam question to you is:

    (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

    (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

    If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

    (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

    I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

    If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

    In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

    So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2009? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

    In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

    Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

    THANK YOU,

    RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

  2. #2
    Wait.........WHAT??!! LoneGunman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Central PA
    Posts
    146

    Hugger Orange
    '99 Camaro Z28

    Take that you beuracratic assholes!!

  3. #3
    Member lsgunner28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Johnstown Pa.
    Posts
    237

    Medium Red Metallic
    2000 Camaro Z28

    LOL i read this about a year ago, hilarious! I read the whole dam thing again because it was written so well.
    2000 Z28 M6 125,XXX: SLP lid, K&N, 10.4mm Taylor plug wires, Frost Tune, P&P TB, NGK Iridium plugs, Magnaflow Cat back, BMR SFC's and tower brace, TSP LT's and ORY, LS6 intake, MAC Girdle, UMI LCA's and Panhard, LS7 Clutch Kit, so far..

  4. #4
    Senior Member MrMasterCraft's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    NOVA
    Posts
    1,266

    2002 C5 - M6 - Blue
    2000 Z28 - A4 - Pewter

    Quote Originally Posted by LoneGunman View Post
    Take that you beuracratic assholes!!

  5. #5
    Veteran Hi-Po's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    10,467

    Black
    1999 TA WS.6

    I wanna meet this guy, have a beer with him.

    I would love to see a letter back to the owner if there ever was one if this is indeed real.

  6. #6
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Millerton, PA
    Posts
    5,191

    2005 Ram
    1978 Firebird

    That's awesome. Trout run isn't that far from where I live..

  7. #7
    10 year lurker DrMilhouse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,116

    Black
    99 Z28

    Just in case anyone is waving the bullshit flag....

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp

  8. #8
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Millerton, PA
    Posts
    5,191

    2005 Ram
    1978 Firebird

    fffuuuu its not local.

  9. #9
    Spaz is My Mentor SMWS6TA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Florida Man Status Acheivement
    Posts
    11,759

    Navy Blue Metallic
    98 T/A w/ mods, 00 FBVert

    Damn there are some very good email spams going.....


    I didn't think about snoops...sorry for posting, thought everyone would get a good laugh..

  10. #10
    Consumer of kraut SiggyZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Jenks/Tulsa
    Posts
    4,798

    Light Pewter Metallic
    y2k 8-cylinder catfish

    Yep, I remember that one from long ago. Nice variation though.

  11. #11
    10 year lurker DrMilhouse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,116

    Black
    99 Z28

    Quote Originally Posted by SMWS6TA View Post
    Damn there are some very good email spams going.....


    I didn't think about snoops...sorry for posting, thought everyone would get a good laugh..

    You dope. Snopes confirmed that it is TRUE.

  12. #12
    Consumer of kraut SiggyZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Jenks/Tulsa
    Posts
    4,798

    Light Pewter Metallic
    y2k 8-cylinder catfish

    He's talking about the location.

    Quote Originally Posted by DrMilhouse View Post
    You dope. Snopes confirmed that it is TRUE.

  13. #13
    Spaz is My Mentor SMWS6TA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Florida Man Status Acheivement
    Posts
    11,759

    Navy Blue Metallic
    98 T/A w/ mods, 00 FBVert

    Not my day!!


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Red State Govs Making a Play for Blue State Gun Jobs....
    By wileyCoyote in forum Political / Debate Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-24-2013, 11:00 AM
  2. Question: LS Engine Builders
    By CHEVELLE of JONESY in forum Rocky Mountain Members
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-20-2012, 12:25 PM
  3. Presidential Winner Predicted in State-by-State Analysis
    By SiggyZ in forum Political / Debate Forum
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08-27-2012, 09:05 PM
  4. Help: tranny builders--advice please!
    By 02WS6dream in forum Automatic Transmission
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 02-26-2008, 02:03 AM
  5. Does anyone know any good website builders?
    By burnws6 in forum Almost Anything Goes
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 05-26-2007, 12:06 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •