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04-02-2010, 03:44 PM #1
Oh, I peed in a bottle this morning
Meant to make a thread about this earlier but it slipped my mind until I just noticed the two non-stock-liquid bottles sitting on my floor just now.
Anyway, so I wake up this morning and as usual I'm pleasantly watching my favorite news anchor, Robin Meade, on the telly. I can't really remember if there's anything important going on in the world today from watching; I don't so much listen to what she says as I just imagine how nice it would be to take her out for a nice dinner.
My morning is a tad more lazy than the norm, compared to my usual catch-the-bus-at-7AM-fml routine, so I'm just laying in bed at 8:15AM. I decide to get up and do something productive before heading to class. Before I decide what to do though, my bladder sets the terror threat level from "Sometime today" to "Embarrassment imminent", informing me that its time for my early morning piss. So I start heading toward my bedroom door.
That's when I hear it.
It's not normally than noticeable from within my bedroom, but considering what it meant to me, the noise of the shower being turned on encompassed me as if I were at Niagara itself. Not to mention, it also had a less than desired effect on a person who is now forced to prevent their bladder from expelling waste.
"No big deal," I think to myself. I've had to hold it for far longer in the past. Plus, my roommate will be out of the shower in about five minutes or so.
More than thirty minutes pass, and I'm jumping around my room, grasping my dick and holding the waistband of my boxer briefs away from my bladder. I peer out of my room into the bathroom; I start eying the sinks pleadingly. I seriously consider using one of them as an impromptu urinal, although I realized it would make for a very awkward situation, should the shower patron suddenly enter the main room of the bathroom, or if his girlfriend came out of the bedroom. Another item of importance, the sinks drain at only a handful of milliliters at a time, and of course standing human urine in a sink is not a desire of anyone. Not to mention, I'm not even sure that the capacity of the two sinks would even be able to contain the volume of liquid my bowels wish to release with great urgency. The consideration of these facts cause me to retreat to the guaranteed privacy of my bedroom.
I peer through the window blinds to the outside, my first thought of the option, and although not a being is in sight, I know that it is still quite nippy outside for a person in only underwear, and clothing myself would have required the release of the vice grip on my member - a fate I was not about to tempt.
My vision is clouding from the pain. I can't think of what to do. That's when I see it: The empty Mellow Yellow bottle on my desk.
I remember a story of a guy too scared to use the bathrooms at his public school, and thus resorted to peeing in bottles. It seems my pride is easily foregone.
I examine the opening of the twenty ounce bottle. I was unimpressed with it, as for some reason I imagined a man attempting to fill an eye drop bottle using a pressure washer. I continue my search for an appropriate receptacle, holding back my body's instincts only with the thought of a near relief.
I find a Powerade bottle. The opening over twice the diameter of the previous bottle, I deem it suitable for my needs. I remove the cap, have one quick last thought along the lines of "What the fuck am I doing", and then let go.
I don't know how many of you guys have ever pissed in a bottle before, but for those who haven't, I feel I should share the three major observations I made during the ordeal:
1. The smell - I suppose that when urinating into a normal toilet, the pee is immediately diluted with the water in the bowl, masking most of the smell. But holding a bottle of raw urine at waste level? The smell was overwhelmingly pungent.
2. The warmth - I guess my brother knows about this from pissing into so many cups, but I had never thought to think of the temperature of my own urine, thus it was quite the surprise when the urine level reached my hand placement on the bottle.
3. The freedom - In my bathroom, when urinating I'm forced to stare at a blank, white wall. In public restrooms, I'm forced to stare at a similar type of wall; if lucky I'm blessed with the small scrawl of a clever joke or an amusing depiction of something-or-other. Yet in my own room, there was so much to look at! So much to see that I had never seen before while peeing! And lo, no longer was I chained to a static object during the fact! I could turn a full 360 degrees, and even walk around the room, without the worry of spillage!! An amazing realization for sure.
One of the less comfortable experiences was stopping mid-stream after the bottle had reached capacity. The majority of the pressure released, I was able to carefully empty the last into the Mellow Yellow bottle I had previously found.
I carefully capped off both bottles and set them on the floor. Although the second bottle was only about 20% full, I still respected them equally, admiring my work. I can't believe I made it to twenty one years of age without realizing this possibility. How had it not crossed my mind when I was addicted to World of Warcraft? I don't know, but am pleased with the fact that this option of dealing with this situation will forever in the future be available to me.Last edited by 86 IROC-Z; 04-02-2010 at 03:50 PM.
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04-02-2010, 03:55 PM #2
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Location
- North Jersey
- Posts
- 11,496
Phantom Black Metallic- 2004 GTO M6
O...M...F...G...!!!
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04-02-2010, 03:57 PM #3
I piss in a bottle more then once a week But a good written story nontheless
┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
Man: The Mods you are fighting,
they are the biggest Men I have ever seen. I
wouldn't want to fight them!
Me: That is why no one will remember your name!
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04-02-2010, 04:10 PM #4
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04-02-2010, 04:20 PM #5
Nice to see this post when comming back from being suspended, just like school, lol. Good post...
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04-02-2010, 04:22 PM #6
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04-02-2010, 04:25 PM #7
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04-02-2010, 04:44 PM #8
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04-02-2010, 04:44 PM #9
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04-02-2010, 04:45 PM #10
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04-02-2010, 04:59 PM #11
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04-02-2010, 05:01 PM #12
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
- arizona
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- 39
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- 2004,2008 triumph 675 SE
I dont post much around here. But must say I got a good laugh out of this.
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04-02-2010, 05:14 PM #13
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04-02-2010, 05:16 PM #14
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04-02-2010, 05:20 PM #15
so much to look at in your room? imagine driving.
i was following my buddy around town at night gettin ready to go to a cruise in. i was i nthe T/A. i had to use a gatorade bottle while driving. that was tricky. went well. topped it off, capped it and tossed it. theres was no way i was gonna make it all the way to the cruise in so immediate actions were taken.
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04-02-2010, 06:19 PM #16
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04-02-2010, 06:31 PM #17
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04-02-2010, 06:56 PM #18
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
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- L.A.
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- 60
Black- 99 Z-28
I always found that the temperature is the worst part when you got to throw I away. Have you ever seen a truck bypass closed for clean ups? Truckers are notorious for pissing in bottles and throwing them out on the bypasses. Take a look next time you drie through one.
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04-02-2010, 08:39 PM #19
ahh fuck the good ol I-roc stories that are so stupid their funny
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04-02-2010, 08:52 PM #20
I have done this but in a cup (big gulp size) forgot about it and the cleaning lady found it. Just use your imagination when we met next.
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