Need to vent

**cuervo25_1** · 02-24-2011, 09:19 PM

I mentioned in the girl beats breathalyser thread that a friend was killed by a drunk driver.So now I am going to let it all out and let people know how I feel exactly.If I step on toes or you get butt hurt I don't want to hear about it! The more I think about it the more anger and hate wells up in me. I mean hell this guy was a truely great friend that loved to have a good time like any of us do,and done it in a responsible manner!

What is killing me the most is not the fact that he was my Friend, roomate, or even my sisters age but the fact that he just moved back "home" from Texas. What was even worse is that he was complaining about the town still being boring so I caught him on facebook and was telling him that he should look at it from my point of view. He should see how horrible this state is and what a blessing it would be for me to move back home. That was a day or so before his death.

I can't even explain what it is like to look at a friend FB page knowing that they are gone. it is a eerie feeling. I contacted some friends that knew him and other former roomates to make sure they knew. One of the groups mutual friends is speaking at his service and asked me if I had anything I would like to say. I posted it on my FB wall and sent this to her

Chris was a special person I never seen him angry,never seen him treat others bad, and he was the most upbeat person I ever met. I am sure he had his moments, but don't we all?

He was also very giving he would share what he had with those that didn't or just because he wanted to. It is sad that we will not be able to see his smiling face or hear his laugh,but be happy for the time we did have with him. It will be difficult but we should not hang our heads in sorrow, but raise them up in rejoice knowing that he touched so many lives and was truely a great friend!

Every last bit of that was true ,the man had a personality that would not quit.He also had a genuine love for all types of music. I remember one time we was sitting at the house listening to music and I was flipping through his CD case. He had everything in there from Willie,Waylon,and Johnny to the beatles to the newer stuff that I don't even listen to. His dad asked what he should play at his funeral, that he didn't think that Tool or Busta would be the best choice even though Chris would dig it. I put in there that Chris wasn't the type that would want us to mourn his death but the type to want us to celebrate his life. Play anything that he likes.

It is a slap to my face though knowing how careful that the group was when it came to drinking. Keys was taken away and hidden, people camped out all over the house in the winter months and outside in the summer.I remember on several occasion when I would wake up next a girl that spent the night that decided my bed with me in it was the best place to crash.Nothing was ever done with these girls other than drinking,sharing a bed,and sharing a loving friendship that kept us all safe.
There was parties at places that I drove friends to and hung out and never drank just to make sure they got home safe, and they returned the favor as well. We had great times and done it safely, we looked out for each other.I have yet to understand why it is so hard for everyone else in this world to do the same.

So if ANY of you want to brag about,mention that you have been,or gripe that you got caught drinking and driving don't expect to get a good response from me! I will try my damnedest not to say anything that will get me ink,banned from the thread or the site, but I can not promise that it will happen! I am fed up with this BS to no end, the goverments need to actually start following through with the punishments instead of allowing plea bargins, there is no reason that this should happen as much as it does anymore!

**blackSS01** · 02-24-2011, 09:36 PM

RIP to your friend. I just lost a friend to an accident last October which was non alcohol related. Its hard now for you but it will get better in time. Celebrate his life, not how it was ended.

**bluehawk2000** · 02-24-2011, 10:00 PM

I am sorry to read this bro I know the feeling and have carried many friends caskets to airsupport to take home because they was killed in combat with me. I know the pain along the lines of loosing a brother in arms fighting for a reason bro, but could never imagine loosing someone to this. Because there is no plauseble reason for some stupid shit like this, and I am in no grace here as I have drove drunk many of times but have atleast tried to drive straight to somewhere to eat and sober up. And I was young dumb and drunk because I just turned 21, but over the past few months I have decided to start taking cabs and friends to make sure I didn't cause a wreck or kill anybody.

So all I am going to say is that may god have no mercy upon the asshole who made the decision to break the law and do this, because I would expect no mercy if I did something like this. My up most regards for a great friend bro and may he rest in peace kind of makes me realize that I have done wrong myself, I hope that one day people will realize the right from wrong but we are only human far from perfect.

One thing I have learned is that shit happens and life goes on, but you will never be able to replace a brother no matter what you do, and I know for a fact that for myself and many other people they find ways to kill the pain for loosing them mine was alcohol and I am apologize for your loss.

**0rion** · 02-24-2011, 10:15 PM

One thing I've learned being married to a nurse is that bad shit happens to good people. There's no rhyme or reason to it. You have a couple things going on. People that think "it won't ever happen to me" which is how most people tend to function....as you get older you learn that simply isn't true. You also have impaired people. No one says "I'm going to drink some beers, get in my car, and go kill someone". One of the first things alcohol does is impair judgement.
Unless you've never taken a drink and driven in your life you can't cast stones at people that do because it was just circumstance and luck that you got away with it. I have no right to come down on someone for it because in my youth I did it. Don't anymore but it was just pure luck that I didn't kill someone back in the day and then I could be "that guy". I just make subtle suggestions and leave it at that.

**bluehawk2000** · 02-24-2011, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

One thing I've learned being married to a nurse is that bad shit happens to good people. There's no rhyme or reason to it. You have a couple things going on. People that think "it won't ever happen to me" which is how most people tend to function....as you get older you learn that simply isn't true. You also have impaired people. No one says "I'm going to drink some beers, get in my car, and go kill someone". One of the first things alcohol does is impair judgement.
Unless you've never taken a drink and driven in your life you can't cast stones at people that do because it was just circumstance and luck that you got away with it. I have no right to come down on someone for it because in my youth I did it. Don't anymore but it was just pure luck that I didn't kill someone back in the day and then I could be "that guy". I just make subtle suggestions and leave it at that.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only person that turns 21 and drinks and drive even tbo I try and be as careful as possible when I do!!!

**blackSS01** · 02-24-2011, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

One thing I've learned being married to a nurse is that bad shit happens to good people. There's no rhyme or reason to it. You have a couple things going on. People that think "it won't ever happen to me" which is how most people tend to function....as you get older you learn that simply isn't true. You also have impaired people. No one says "I'm going to drink some beers, get in my car, and go kill someone". One of the first things alcohol does is impair judgement.
Unless you've never taken a drink and driven in your life you can't cast stones at people that do because it was just circumstance and luck that you got away with it. I have no Er to come down on someone for it because in my youth I did it. Don't anymore but it was just pure luck that I didn't kill someone back in the day and then I could be "that guy". I just make subtle suggestions and leave it at that.

I was going to say that just about every person that has drank alcohol has driven impaired, its just a fact. I dont know anyone that hasnt did it at least once. Sometimes one time is too many

**0rion** · 02-24-2011, 10:25 PM

Originally Posted by bluehawk2000

Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only person that turns 21 and drinks and drive even tbo I try and be as careful as possible when I do!!!

when you get older you'll look back on that and say "damn was I an idiot or what?" It truly is a miracle I didn't kill someone or myself between the ages of 18-25.

**bluehawk2000** · 02-24-2011, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

when you get older you'll look back on that and say "damn was I an idiot or what?" It truly is a miracle I didn't kill someone or myself between the ages of 18-25.

Yea I know and I have done it many times I have actually quit going to bars I have realized that alcohol is my pain killer to the things that has happend to me in iraq!!!! And I have tried to hurt or end my life when I am drunk, that's what cause my life changing moment to realize that I was a PTSD patient. So I have been under going treatment for the past 7 months. And it hasn't been easier with still having recurring flashbacks and nightmares its hard and they have me on more meds than a 90 year old makes me feel like an old person even tho I turn 22 in april makes me wanna break down.

**Schmalgar** · 02-24-2011, 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

when you get older you'll look back on that and say "damn was I an idiot or what?" It truly is a miracle I didn't kill someone or myself between the ages of 18-25.

Indeed. Invincibility will hopefully turn into wisdom for all of us as we get older.

Cuervo, damn sorry to hear that. My father died 2 years ago and my step-mother keeps his FB page going still. I can't stand it, I know what you mean about that. And smack folks down all you want. Nobody should feel proud about drinking and driving, or bitch about getting caught doing it. As in your friend's case, it's rarely the drunk driver that dies, it's more often the innocent(s) in the other vehicle...

**cuervo25_1** · 02-25-2011, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by blackSS01

I was going to say that just about every person that has drank alcohol has driven impaired, its just a fact. I dont know anyone that hasnt did it at least once. Sometimes one time is too many

I never did and there was two reasons behind that. one I didn't want to risk my life or anyone elses,and two is if I did drink and drive my Dad would beat me worse than anyone has ever been beaten.

Like I said my friends and I took care of each other. For example whem I hit 21 and my best friend/neighbor wasn't 21 yet we would go to the bars together he would drive and I would get sloppy assed drunk and he would drive me home. Then when he hit 21 I did the same for him I stayed sober so he could drink.

If you live in the south you know what southern parents are like. His parents would chew me out if I done something wrong,mine would chew him out if he done something wrong, and if bad enough they gave permission to the opposite parents to whoop our asses. That being said his and my parents was adement about us calling them if we was out drinking and wanted to come home, they said we don't care what time it is just call we will come get you. A couple times we took them up on that offer.

all of that aside now one of the "group" is throwing a huge party in honor of Chris. she set up a facebook page for it so you could let her know if you was comeing or not. as soon as you walk in there will be a box to throw your keys in which then will be put away everyone is to stay at the house until sober.
her exact invite said " Chris is most likely very pissed that we are all crying over his death instead of celibrating his life , so I am throwing a party Chris style. It will have all the alcohol , music, food, ect that he loved. Most of all alot of his friends would be together at one time to party their asses off in his honor"

I wish I could be there!

**blackSS01** · 02-25-2011, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by cuervo25_1

I never did and there was two reasons behind that. one I didn't want to risk my life or anyone elses,and two is if I did drink and drive my Dad would beat me worse than anyone has ever been beaten.

Like I said my friends and I took care of each other. For example whem I hit 21 and my best friend/neighbor wasn't 21 yet we would go to the bars together he would drive and I would get sloppy assed drunk and he would drive me home. Then when he hit 21 I did the same for him I stayed sober so he could drink.

If you live in the south you know what southern parents are like. His parents would chew me out if I done something wrong,mine would chew him out if he done something wrong, and if bad enough they gave permission to the opposite parents to whoop our asses. That being said his and my parents was adement about us calling them if we was out drinking and wanted to come home, they said we don't care what time it is just call we will come get you. A couple times we took them up on that offer.

all of that aside now one of the "group" is throwing a huge party in honor of Chris. she set up a facebook page for it so you could let her know if you was comeing or not. as soon as you walk in there will be a box to throw your keys in which then will be put away everyone is to stay at the house until sober.
her exact invite said " Chris is most likely very pissed that we are all crying over his death instead of celibrating his life , so I am throwing a party Chris style. It will have all the alcohol , music, food, ect that he loved. Most of all alot of his friends would be together at one time to party their asses off in his honor"

I wish I could be there!

Sucks that you can't make it

Chris sounded like a cool cat and had some great friends.

**cuervo25_1** · 02-25-2011, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by blackSS01

Sucks that you can't make it

Chris sounded like a cool cat and had some great friends.

Everyone that met him became his friend,he just had that kind of personality. I never met a person yet that met him and did not like him. It is going to be one huge service. I wouldn't doubt if th funeral prosession was a mile or more long. There will be friends and family coming from all over the country. I am going to see if I can get some articles

**blackSS01** · 02-25-2011, 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by cuervo25_1

Everyone that met him became his friend,he just had that kind of personality. I never met a person yet that met him and did not like him. It is going to be one huge service. I wouldn't doubt if th funeral prosession was a mile or more long. There will be friends and family coming from all over the country. I am going to see if I can get some articles

Sorry for your loss, life isnt fair.

**cuervo25_1** · 02-25-2011, 08:33 PM

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/new...&pid=148833957

**cuervo25_1** · 02-25-2011, 08:44 PM

http://www2.newsvirginian.com/news/2...9829/#comments

**cuervo25_1** · 02-25-2011, 08:57 PM

http://www2.newsvirginian.com/news/2...ort-ar-864736/

**walterchang** · 02-26-2011, 08:35 AM

I too lost a good friend to a drunk driver. The pos that killed him had gotten 2 previous duis. He was killed shortly after highschool. He was a great friend and I miss him very much. I hope that pos that killed him is dead.

**suede** · 02-26-2011, 09:55 PM

I can relate with ya man, a very close friend of mine that went to Australia with me died of a brain anurism (sp?), and seeing people write on his FB wall to say that they miss him and what not just gives a really errie feeling... as far as the drinking and driving, i can admit, ive been guitly of it way too many times, but it took wrecking the TA last weekend to really make it sink in just how hurtful it could be, and granted i quit drinking 3 hours before i left, but hadnt slept in close to 36hrs, but on the way home i fell asleep and so the story goes.... but my dad talking to me after he had seen the tracks the next morning on his way to a sale, and calling my mom to ask if they were mine and such, sitting at the table later, he said yea sure i was fucking pissed that you were stupid enough to do that, and esp tear up your car like that, but ya know, the rest of the way to that sale i thought to myself, what would it be like if right now i was having to make phonecalls to my grandparents to say "yea wade was killed last night when he was coming home and rolled his car..... because that thought alone scared thee holy shit out of me"