need some advice please

[cam02ss]

I was introduced to Ashley by a mutual friend, Jess, down where ash and i get our cars worked on back in early nov. I was told she had a bf but he had been treating her like shit,etc. to make a long story short, he ended up dumping her, we start talking, hanging out and then going out. yes..i know things went way to fast..she and i both agree on that. However in my defense (even though i should have known better) i asked her if she was sure i wasn't a rebound, you sure this is what you want, etc. she assured me that things were over with them, etc.

Fast forward a few weeks (dec. 12th..my b-day)...He comes back saying that he missed her, wants her back, loves her, etc. she tells me that she needs to find herself, get over the hurt he caused her because she kept it bottled up inside, etc. Needs to soul search. So this drags on for a month and a half up until this past thursday/friday. Now..for this past month and a half she would kiss me, tell me she loves me, all that stuff.

Recently my friend talked to her and basically said she isnt being fair to herself, me or her ex and this is unhealthy and she basically needs to get off her ass and really think about this.

This past thursday night i go down there to stay at her school, i walk into her room and there is a pic of her ex and her, and a picture of his senior pic on top of her tv. she tells me that he gave it to her as a "going away" present when she moved to school. his watch was also on his desk and she told me that he forgot it in her jewlry box because he always used to stay at her house. (i know...shit doesn't add up).

Friday morning i decide to leave because things seem tense and i know she has alot of thinking to do. She walks me out and says "i need closure on my past, i need to know if things are really over and i can't give you what you want and deserve right now. you will find someone 10 times better than me and will make someone very happy, etc." " i need to tie up loose ends, etc"

This next part is where i'm at fault...I left my wallet in her car so we had to meet up later that afternoon. She calls me to say that she is leaving to meet me and asks "are you still mad at me?" I said "eh..isn't my loss" i guess as a defensive statement because i was hurt but that really pissed her off, made her cry, etc. she said her jaw dropped when she heard that. when she met up with me she wouldn't look at me, just sat there for a moment and drove away. i got her on the phone but she wouldn't turn around, just asked "why do you even care? im not a loss..im nothing,etc." i said "of course your a loss, you know that and you know that i want to be with you more than anything, i was just hurt." i then told her call me if and when she knows where her heart is. I havn't talked with her since friday.

Upon advice from friends this is what i did and am going to do since then: I sent her a note that just said "Dear Ash, Im sorry. i'll always be your friend..love will" One of my girl friends said that is like giving up, admitting defeat so i should send her one of those "between the two of us cards" and tell her how i truely feel and let it go at that, see if she calls or anything. then if i dont hear from her or dont hear what i want..let it go.

i know this is long guys, thanks for reading it though. im so mixed up i dont know what to do. as of now i dont think they are back together. if they did go back, i dunno if he would go back to being the same ass that he was at the end of their relationship or not. i dont even know my chances of her coming back. anyway, thoughts and advice are much appricated.

will

[Zboner]

women always always go back to a boyfriend that they were with for a long time, sorry just the facts man. but your doing the right thing i think.

just make sure that she was not with u and him at the same time and things will be cool i think

[Zboner]

i pretty much do the exact thing that this girl did to you man, everytime my girlfriend wants to "take a break" or whatever she wants to do i just go out hook up with another chick for about 3 weeks or a month then she always gets upset and comes running back when she thinks she is going to loose me or whatever.

[cam02ss]

yea, makes sence. the thing that really gets to me i guess is the fact that i was straight forward from the beginning saying i wanted to avoid something exactly like this. in fact, when she first called me bawling that he dumped her i said "im sure you guys will be back together in a few days" and she said "oh..i dunno..i don't think so"

[cam02ss]

my stupidity i guess...shoulda seen this whole thing coming

[Zboner]

yea, makes sence. the thing that really gets to me i guess is the fact that i was straight forward from the beginning saying i wanted to avoid something exactly like this. in fact, when she first called me bawling that he dumped her i said "im sure you guys will be back together in a few days" and she said "oh..i dunno..i don't think so"

well when i was with this other girl i kept telling her i was done with the other one, and that she was not a rebound thing.

but in reality i was fucking both of them on different days , so you just have to watchh your self.

[cam02ss]

eh fuck...yea true

[Zboner]

but the girl i have been with for 2 years left her boyfriend for me and she never talked to him again, or had any problems at all.

so it could work out i guess?

[cam02ss]

i did ask her that and she told me straight up that she wasn't and hadn't done anything with him

[cam02ss]

the answer im looking for is obvious..."time will tell"

[Zboner]

well, mine of two years broke up with her Ex for me so it might work out man, its all on her.


"treat like dirt, they stick to ya like mudd"

[cam02ss]

ha..ive heard that one as well

[Zboner]

its the honest to God's truth man.

[cam02ss]

so what...i should just start acting like a dick to her and see if that gets me anywhere? that comment i made about her not being a loss sure as hell didnt make her stick around lol

[Zboner]

so what...i should just start acting like a dick to her and see if that gets me anywhere? that comment i made about her not being a loss sure as hell didnt make her stick around lol

not really but play it off like you could give a shit less about her, like you dont care if your with her or not, and let her call you insted of you calling her all the time.

just make her want you

[cam02ss]

yea i havn't talked with her since friday. she told me she's stubborn and all but we'll see if she cracks. it will have to be her because im sure as shit not gonna call her

[cam02ss]

and i dont think i'll be able to make her want me if the other guy is still in the picture lol

[Zboner]

yea i havn't talked with her since friday. she told me she's stubborn and all but we'll see if she cracks. it will have to be her because im sure as shit not gonna call her

exactly the mind set you got to have man.

[cam02ss]

yea..i know. i figure if i dont hear from her within a couple weeks i mind as well forget it

[Zboner]

fuck man, i would give it a week then call her and say im not going to mess with you, see ya