A MUST read for guys...what girls think of us..

[Turrry]

Read this article on AOL today..."Decoding a guy"

His Hands Are in His Pockets
Hands in his pockets looks relaxed, but it's anything but. Men tend to hide their hands when they're feeling uncomfortable, are hiding something or want to get away from a conversation.

He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
Steady eye contact doesn't just mean that he's interested in what you're saying. It's a sign that he's incredibly attracted to you.

He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
Chatting up a guy? If he's holding anything in front of him -- a drink, his hands, a coat, a Golden Popcorn -- it's not a great sign. He's using those things as a barrier to prevent you from getting closer.

He Touches a Sensitive Spot
If a guy breaks the touch barrier, it's a sure sign of interest. But if he gets hands-on with a tender spot that's not generally exposed to the world (like your inner arm, wrist or neck), he's feeling close and connected with you on an emotional level as well.

He Rubs His Hands
If you're having a serious convo with a guy, scope out how nervous he is by checking out his hands. If he's touching or rubbing them a lot, you're making him anxious

He Seems French
No matter how long you've been together, a man that uses tons of tongue when he's kissing you is still totally turned on by you.

He Nuzzles Noggins
Leaning in so your heads touch? This guy's completely in love. Feeling connected enough to make cranial contact is a sure sign of emotional intimacy.

He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
Not sure if a new guy you're flirting with is into being just friends or something more? Sneak a peek at his hips when he smooches you. If they're angled away, he's not interested, but if they're pointed straight at you or bump against yours, you've got him hooked.

He Spreads Out
A wide stance means he's trying to show you how masculine he truly is. In other words, he's showing off and preening for you. (That, or he's in a men's restroom trolling for trouble.)

He Blocks His Words
Here's an easy way to spot a liar: If a guy is putting his hands in front of his mouth as he talks, he's likely not telling the truth.

Them women think they got us all figured out....do chicks buy into this crap?


Turrry's new and improved interpretations:

His Hands Are in His Pockets
He's trying to hide the fact that for whatever reason, his dick is hard. If you are trying to seduce him, then take this as a compliment, drop to your knees and "thank" him properly.

He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
He's lying, and trying to convince you that the blonde with the legs for days and the huge tits probably couldn't offer him the "love you can". Take this as sincerity cause it's the best you're gonna get.

He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
He's bored with the useless dribble you're spewing. More than likely he is desperate to go work on his car, play his xbox, or go work in the yard. Leave him alone for 10 seconds with silence and see if he doesn't get up and leave your uninteresting butt sitting on the couch.

He Touches a Sensitive Spot
He wants to make sex. Now. If this has been done in a area of the house such as the kitchen, bathroom, or hallway, then he wants it RIGHT then on the counter/floor/etc. Whatever is available, get ready to get balled cause it's coming.

He Rubs His Hands
He's probably examining the grease on his hands from before you nagged him to the point of taking you out to dinner, or on a date. He is wondering if he remembered to torque his head bolts properly or if they are just finger tight...and he's wondering when those parts he ordered will be here.

He Seems French
He wants to make sex. Don't fight him, it'll just turn him on more. Let him do what he wants, cause if you've been together for a while and he's taking the time to actually kiss you heavily and not go straight for penetration you are one of the lucky ones. Make sure you "thank him" later...

He Nuzzles Noggins
He is probably actually showing affection with this one...

He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
If it's a new relationship he's either too scared to go for it, or you are being a biatch and giving him mixed signals....he's trying his luck. Give him a CLEAR signal so that next time you get to the sex. If this is a good-bye deal, it's just that. A kiss. Quit reading into everything, this isnt a freaking harlequin novel, GET OUT OF OUR HEADS!!

He Spreads Out
His balls are sweaty or needed to be adjusted.

He Blocks His Words
Men have facial hair. It can itch. Don't be an oversensitive biatch and think we are lying because the stubble that is on our face from being up all night listening to you whine about your idiot friends itches us. Just listen to what we are saying for ONCE!!

Just thought I'd clear all that up for you ladies...

[zmg00camaross]

Amazing your right all
I think
About is my car and what part is next on the list. Damn woman think the figures us out.

[Y2KArcticSS]

**Wipes tear from red face from laughing so hard**

[JHayesLS1]

His Hands Are in His Pockets
He is doing his best not to swing on your ass.

He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
He hold eye contact because he wants you to know he is the alpha male. If his hands are in his pockets during this time then god help you..

He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
This means its time to shut your mouth and quit bitching about meaningless shit. Fidgiting can lead to throwing so be weary.

He Touches a Sensitive Spot
Get dem britches down! This isn't love making this is ruthless love making.

He Rubs His Hands
I'm rubbing my hands, bitch. I can't rub my fucking hands without that being some sign to you?!

He Seems French
If he's French he's probably a pussy and you should leave him.

He Nuzzles Noggins
I gotta admit this is the time when we men can be sensitive. Don't fuck it up by asking us what we're thinking because you already know.

He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
Its either too early to PIIHB or you are a fat slobby bitch that one of his friends set him up with as a joke.

He Spreads Out
We have nuts. They need air or they just want to hang out. Again it ain't no sign.

He Blocks His Words
Yeah thats right I'm lying to you, and the most clever way I could do it was by covering up my mouth with my hand. Chances are the man might have some bad breath or if you are said fat raggedy bitch we are trying not to puke.

Thats my correction. Who's next?

[ibanez7]

i have to say, I'm impressed you got it just about right... lol

Its fucking stupid how every source of media, tries to tell woman, "we have your man figured out"

Fuck that they do, I barely have myself figured out at times, no chic or media source can figure it out.

Everything listed above is a general/typical behavior of the average person, male or female.

Figuring out someone, is about becoming aclomated with their natural behavior. thats it. Following media guides is the worse

[eddielb]

LMFAO love the adjusted shit better.

[Turrry]

Glad you boys are enjoying it!!

[third_shift|studios]

OMG! that was hilarious!!!!!!!!! i'm trying not to LOL in the office after that!

[pajeff02]

Someone put some time and thought into this one. Good find!

[Crimson Sin]

Now that there is funny..Who the christ thinks this crap up.
Altho some of the remakes are pretty damn good

[fccs]

lmfao so fucking true

[Turrry]

Someone put some time and thought into this one. Good find!

I wrote the second version myself

[third_shift|studios]

His Hands Are in His Pockets
Clearly he's out of beer, get him a bottle

He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
Our peripheral vision has picked up something sexier and we're maintaining eye contact so as to keep still and not blur the surroundings.

He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
Your open blouse, short skirt and fuck-me pump's are making him nervous

He Touches a Sensitive Spot
It's a test...only a test...had this been the real thing, it would be bruised and police would be involved.

He Rubs His Hands
so as to brush off salt/food particles, ya i'd say it's a meaningless gesture.

He Seems French
does that statement make an ounce of sense? Really...wtf does that even mean?

He Nuzzles Noggins
Forehead-to-forehead so as to get a better view down your shirt, but it's a great "emotional" decoy.

He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
your a cold bitch who wouldn't put out any more than a damn cheek? hope that happened before he paid for the movie/dinner/flowers/condoms

He Spreads Out
What a retarded statement, besides-this makes me look even shorter so i avoid doing it in public at all times.

He Blocks His Words
I do this with a beer neck right before i enjoy a swig, that's about it. I don't know what kinda dousche bag actually does this any other time w/out food or drink in his hand?

Who's next?

[ls1blackbeauty98]

your version was a HELL of a lot better! that article was in cosmo too, i swear half of the "men" advice they give is complete shit.

[third_shift|studios]

b/c it's coming from a girl's interpretation!

[pajeff02]

His Hands Are in His Pockets
Clearly he's out of beer, get him a bottle

He Holds Eye Contact When You Talk
Our peripheral vision has picked up something sexier and we're maintaining eye contact so as to keep still and not blur the surroundings.

He Fidgets With Whatever's Around
Your open blouse, short skirt and fuck-me pump's are making him nervous

He Touches a Sensitive Spot
It's a test...only a test...had this been the real thing, it would be bruised and police would be involved.

He Rubs His Hands
so as to brush off salt/food particles, ya i'd say it's a meaningless gesture.

He Seems French
does that statement make an ounce of sense? Really...wtf does that even mean?

He Nuzzles Noggins
Forehead-to-forehead so as to get a better view down your shirt, but it's a great "emotional" decoy.

He's Giving You a Good-Bye Peck on the Cheek
your a cold bitch who wouldn't put out any more than a damn cheek? hope that happened before he paid for the movie/dinner/flowers/condoms

He Spreads Out
What a retarded statement, besides-this makes me look even shorter so i avoid doing it in public at all times.

He Blocks His Words
I do this with a beer neck right before i enjoy a swig, that's about it. I don't know what kinda dousche bag actually does this any other time w/out food or drink in his hand?

Who's next?

^^ This is "working"?

[ls1blackbeauty98]

b/c it's coming from a girl's interpretation!

its so dumb! even i wouldnt believe some of that shit! i used to take some of this crap to heart, id look at my guy and be like WTF OMG! but then i started thinking about how BS this kinda crap is.

the better articles in like cosmo are the sex things, number one girls wouldnt actually do half of the stuff they suggest, and number two if you gotta be told to "spice it up" you need more then just a cosmo! lol..

anyway back on topic, anyone else wanna try? this is gettin funny

[third_shift|studios]

^^ This is "working"?

STFU train whore!

[pajeff02]

STFU train whore!

[allbaugh_04]

Your new definition of spreading out applies to me. Either the briefs gave me a weggie or my boxers need ventilation...