Men's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

***doberman 152*** · 01-30-2010, 04:14 AM

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever.

You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register...

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore... Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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**dr_ws6_00** · 01-30-2010, 11:18 AM

I must be an old man in a young body....cuz I'm like the second one from the bottom....

**RealLiveMD** · 01-30-2010, 01:22 PM

Mid 30's here and I don't give a damn about what people at home depot have to say or think. I go oily, painted, or smelly... but I do drive my old car as to not get dirt in the WS6.

**86 IROC-Z** · 01-30-2010, 01:56 PM

Last time I went to home depot:

hiking boots, muddy levi's with a hole in the ass, a black walmart undershirt, and a beanie (was cold). And I doubt I had showered already because it was around 9am, and that's about 5 hours too early for me (was during Christmas vacation from school).

I definitely know some of those types allocated in my age group though

**dragonchick** · 01-30-2010, 03:06 PM

LOL very funny!

**allbaugh_04** · 01-30-2010, 03:13 PM

Not one of these apply to me

**Y2KPewterSS** · 01-30-2010, 03:32 PM

Lowes>Home Depot around these parts, actually Ace Hardware>Home depot around here,

**allbaugh_04** · 01-30-2010, 03:48 PM

I got both really close to each other. Lowe's is closer, so I usually go there.

I wish I were more handy like my dad, it's like a candy store for handy men. I know why dad spent hours on a saturday at menards now

**LT1 > LS1** · 01-30-2010, 08:09 PM

apparently im in my 50's.....

OR......I just DGAF!

**Y2KPewterSS** · 01-30-2010, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by allbaugh_04

I got both really close to each other. Lowe's is closer, so I usually go there.

I wish I were more handy like my dad, it's like a candy store for handy men. I know why dad spent hours on a saturday at menards now

Similar to me, my dad can do anything. I wished I had learned more from him growing up but I didn't. I did get bit by that bug few years back though, you probably will too at some point. You can learn a lot by just attempting things yourself. You will fail at some and have to redo some shit, but whatever works

**Daniel P.** · 01-30-2010, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by allbaugh_04

I got both really close to each other. Lowe's is closer, so I usually go there.

I wish I were more handy like my dad, it's like a candy store for handy men. I know why dad spent hours on a saturday at menards now

Menards FTW lots better prices and better service.

**RealLiveMD** · 01-31-2010, 09:30 AM

Home depot is crap around these parts. They hire people who don't have a clue about their dept. i say lowwes FTW. Built my house last year. Spent over 50 grand at lowes.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 01-31-2010, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by Y2KPewterSS

Similar to me, my dad can do anything. I wished I had learned more from him growing up but I didn't. I did get bit by that bug few years back though, you probably will too at some point. You can learn a lot by just attempting things yourself. You will fail at some and have to redo some shit, but whatever works

THIS.

Don't be afraid to just try to do it yourself. You'd be surprised how easy some things are that look complicated. I used to have my father help me do EVERYTHING as he is one of these masterminds when it comes to doing handy shit around the house, and mainly just about anything for that matter. Now, I do it myself, if it is a one man job. It really is the only way you'll ever learn. Don't be afraid of screwing up...it has happened to all of us at some point.

**bberretta** · 01-31-2010, 01:02 PM

Years ago my dad taught me an important lesson- I had just had my motorcycle painted (in trade for some other work) and I questioned how he did it and didn't think I could. My dad said, "It's only paint." Basically you just have to not be afraid to screw up. As long as you're not afraid to screw up, you can do just about anything.

**allbaugh_04** · 01-31-2010, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Y2KPewterSS

Similar to me, my dad can do anything. I wished I had learned more from him growing up but I didn't. I did get bit by that bug few years back though, you probably will too at some point. You can learn a lot by just attempting things yourself. You will fail at some and have to redo some shit, but whatever works

Ya, I'm jealous. I gotta get with him to learn a thing or two. Our 5 bedroom house, he paid 13k cash for, now it's worth upwards of 150k.

Originally Posted by Daniel P.

Menards FTW lots better prices and better service.

"save big money at meards!"

**Spaz** · 01-31-2010, 03:52 PM

who farted???

**suede** · 02-01-2010, 12:17 AM

lol soo true....

as far as bein a handyman goes, i learned alot, as we built our house, sure it took 7 years but i can do the basics of everything from plumbing, wiring, tape and texturing, all that good stuff