Greatest American Comebacks

[davidbie]

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the
Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
empire building by George Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of
its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond
our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is
enough to bury those that did not return. It became very quiet in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At a conference in France where a number of international engineers were
taking part, including French and American.
During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying
'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft
carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to
do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three
hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear
powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they
have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a
day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water
each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting
victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such
ships; how many does France have?' Once again, dead silence.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a
cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers
that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn
only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak
English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the
Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to
speak German' You could have heard a pin drop.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At
French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry
on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American
said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible.
Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to
help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it
to."

[rapter34]

that was epic! I love the speaking German one.

[Y2K_CAMARO]

nice!!! i love the German one, and the last French one!!! those are great

[35thLS1]

those are some GREAT ones....

[Bandit02]

Nice, powell's owns

[ss~zoso~ss]

Laughing my fucking ass off, those were great, great thread man,

i think the last one was the best

[Speedy_Gonzales]

very nice

[dock]

Another German one, with a British comeback:

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."

Don't know if it's true or not but it oughtta be.

[ajs1978]

That's awesome!

[davidbie]

Dock, I'm dying here. That was awsome

[Blitzed]

Damn frenchies

[ss~zoso~ss]

TTT, just remembered how awesome this thread is

[zero_proto]

hell yeah....! AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!