Ex-boyfriend deal...

**Musclefan21** · 04-30-2009, 08:17 PM

ok what do you guys think about this? I have argued with my girl over this many times and she compromised some but not all the way. I said i dont want that BS, drop them cold and she says that they are her friends, that they dont hang out, every once in a while they talk over the phone saying "hi, hi". I asked her to delete them off of her facebook, myspace and delete all the pics and after a long debate she did it and she said that she wont call them anymore but if they call her she will answer and talk to them. I said why cant you just drop them, she says that they are friends and she cares about them as friends! well this BS put a "question mark" in my head and I started to have trust issues. she says that her reason for not dropping them is cuz what i am doing is controlling and when i mention that i do not trust her and she created this trust issue in me, she says that get over it, i dont do anything wrong.

am I being ridiculous? is she on the right here? what are your opinions here?

I wanna clear my head because I think about this a lot and it gives me head ache and i end up arguing with her and i really want all this to stop. she obviously wont stop talking to them even though she has compromised some and i am bothered to know the fact that when they call, she talks to them. how can I fix this?

thanks!

**Mr. Luos** · 04-30-2009, 08:21 PM

In my experiences.....ex's aren't to be friends.

**Musclefan21** · 04-30-2009, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Luos

In my experiences.....ex's aren't to be friends.

she says that they dont hang out which i believe and she promises never to call them but IF they call her, she will answer and chat with them over the phone. I asked her to not even do that, get them out her life completely but refuses to do that.

am I being ridiculous? should i just let it go and relax? but I just think this way, if she really cared, wouldn't she just let them go for me?

what would you honestly do?

god this shit gives me a headache

**0rion** · 04-30-2009, 08:29 PM

dump her...life is too short for the drama. You'll never trust her completely and I can see why. Start calling some of your old ex's while she's in the same room and see how she reacts.

**FORD RECOVERY EXPERT** · 04-30-2009, 08:31 PM

Stuff that Horse-Humpin' Bitch in the Wood chipper.

**Musclefan21** · 04-30-2009, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by FORD RECOVERY EXPERT

Stuff that Horse-Humpin' Bitch in the Wood chipper.

this is my serious gf, serious responds only dude!

**mrwdjv** · 04-30-2009, 08:35 PM

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I am friends with most of my exes. There were some that I dated for like 5 mins and figured out I did not want to be in that kind of relationship with them, but I did want to be their friend. With that said, I can understand where she is coming from. On the other hand I know how I feel and know I can trust myself, but I cannot trust other people's motives. Whether that other person is my boyfriend or one of his exes or a girl he says is "just a friend". The male female relationship is so complicated and can reek havoc on your mind, body, and soul. Have you ever felt like this before? Do you normally have trust issues? If not and this have just became a problem with her, then you might have a point. I personally feel if she really valued you, your feelings, and the relationship she would understand this bothers you, maybe not why it bothers you, but that it does in fact bother you and just drop these people out of her life. If it is an emergency or something important they can leave a message, the two of you discuss it and decide if she should call them back. Just my thought!

**Spikito** · 04-30-2009, 08:42 PM

Until here recently i was friends with all my exes, two of them flipped out. The girl I'm currently with shares my opinion on that.

Its human nature, the quickest way to get her to cheat on you with one of them, or whatever, is to say she cant see them. I would much rather her be open and honest with me about her ex's than to feel like she has to hide them. That's just me though. My girl feels the same, she wants to know all about them and whats going on, it lets her know that she can trust me, and that i feel that i can trust her.

You see, now she thinks you don't trust her, which is gonna snow ball into a lot of problems.

**mpfranks** · 04-30-2009, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

dump her...life is too short for the drama. You'll never trust her completely and I can see why. Start calling some of your old ex's while she's in the same room and see how she reacts.

i agree. put her in the same boat and see how she feels.

girls dont see things rationally, you have to show them.

i had a serious gf that just didnt understand how relationships were supposed to work until i did the same fucked up shit to her. everything straightened out real quick.

(and no, youre not over reacting. you NEED to be able to trust your gf. and she NEEDS to understand that)

**pjeff7** · 04-30-2009, 08:58 PM

Musclefan21, if i was in the same situation I would be more worried about the friends than her. Lets face it, HONESTLY, how many guys "just want to be friends"?? The girl could totaly mean that she wants to be only friends...and thats fine. but it's the guys i would be worried about. B/c all it takes is one fight and they are all like "well he isnt good for you, I was WAY nicer....blah blah blah" add some beer to the mix and the girl might do something that she never ment to happen. Your GF prob is being on the up and up, you would just need to find out what kinda guys her ex's are.

**0rion** · 04-30-2009, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by Musclefan21

this is my serious gf, serious responds only dude!

good luck with that one.....

**SS02** · 04-30-2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Luos

In my experiences.....ex's aren't to be friends.

**zero_proto** · 04-30-2009, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Musclefan21

ok what do you guys think about this? I have argued with my girl over this many times and she compromised some but not all the way. I said i dont want that BS, drop them cold and she says that they are her friends, that they dont hang out, every once in a while they talk over the phone saying "hi, hi". I asked her to delete them off of her facebook, myspace and delete all the pics and after a long debate she did it and she said that she wont call them anymore but if they call her she will answer and talk to them. I said why cant you just drop them, she says that they are friends and she cares about them as friends! well this BS put a "question mark" in my head and I started to have trust issues. she says that her reason for not dropping them is cuz what i am doing is controlling and when i mention that i do not trust her and she created this trust issue in me, she says that get over it, i dont do anything wrong.

am I being ridiculous? is she on the right here? what are your opinions here?

I wanna clear my head because I think about this a lot and it gives me head ache and i end up arguing with her and i really want all this to stop. she obviously wont stop talking to them even though she has compromised some and i am bothered to know the fact that when they call, she talks to them. how can I fix this?

thanks!

dude if she talks to them and so be it. One thing that creates problems in relationships is insecurities. That is why you guys are arguing. If it is serious just drop the argument with her, it is not worth the arguing, let them be her friends......she is with you know. I have had gf's that still kept their ex bf's as friends and i had no problem with it. If there is ever a major issue to happen like cheating i would dump her, because i will easily find another.

I have never had any girl cheat on me. Confidence my friend, if you are doing her right and treating her good, she would have no reason to go somewhere else. My best female friend is an ex of mine, her man knows me and her have alot of history. He does not tell her to not talk to me, me and her still hang out. But guess what there is not shit going to happen between us because we are just friends. Ex's can be friends.

**DUBB** · 04-30-2009, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by mrwdjv

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I am friends with most of my exes.

lolwut, werent u just bitching about your bf doing the same thing in another thread?

**GTP231** · 04-30-2009, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

good luck with that one.....

Oh come on some of us here are capable of a serious well thought out intelligent answer.

I think

**86 IROC-Z** · 04-30-2009, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by Musclefan21

this is my serious gf, serious responds only dude!

Post of the year!

**Sweet Chops** · 04-30-2009, 10:24 PM

First ? how old are you.

**Sweet Chops** · 04-30-2009, 10:29 PM

The way I look at this is if she is young she dosen't know any better to respect you and the the thing you have going on with her. If you are older 25ish she is playing you for what you have. And she is just keeping her options open

**SS02** · 04-30-2009, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by Musclefan21

ok what do you guys think about this? I have argued with my girl over this many times and she compromised some but not all the way. I said i dont want that BS, drop them cold and she says that they are her friends, that they dont hang out, every once in a while they talk over the phone saying "hi, hi". I asked her to delete them off of her facebook, myspace and delete all the pics and after a long debate she did it and she said that she wont call them anymore but if they call her she will answer and talk to them. I said why cant you just drop them, she says that they are friends and she cares about them as friends! well this BS put a "question mark" in my head and I started to have trust issues. she says that her reason for not dropping them is cuz what i am doing is controlling and when i mention that i do not trust her and she created this trust issue in me, she says that get over it, i dont do anything wrong.

am I being ridiculous? is she on the right here? what are your opinions here?

I wanna clear my head because I think about this a lot and it gives me head ache and i end up arguing with her and i really want all this to stop. she obviously wont stop talking to them even though she has compromised some and i am bothered to know the fact that when they call, she talks to them. how can I fix this?

thanks!

the last dude asked a great question!
how old are U?