The engagement is off, who gets the ring?

**AKIRA** · 01-24-2007, 12:22 PM

A friend of mine was caught cheating...well no, he confessed to a kiss (which is cheating) of a drunken night, but she believes he did more and was kicked out of her house.

Sad news...throwing him out into the single world. Anyway!

Regardless of what she "found out," she ended it and did not give the ring back, of which, he owes $4k. I didnt know he bought a ring that nice.

In any case, an associate and I couldnt come to terms who gets the ring.

Its not paid for, but he fucked up.
It was a gift.
But theyre not married.

I dont know! Anyone ever go through this? 4 grand is a lot to swallow.

**Spaz** · 01-24-2007, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by AKIRA

A friend of mine was caught cheating...well no, he confessed to a kiss (which is cheating) of a drunken night, but she believes he did more and was kicked out of her house.

Sad news...throwing him out into the single world. Anyway!

Regardless of what she "found out," she ended it and did not give the ring back, of which, he owes $4k. I didnt know he bought a ring that nice.

In any case, an associate and I couldnt come to terms who gets the ring.

Its not paid for, but he fucked up.
It was a gift.
But theyre not married.

I dont know! Anyone ever go through this? 4 grand is a lot to swallow.

if he has the reciet it's his and she can't win what so ever... tell him to get it back.. if he doesn't have the receit tell him to lie and she will give in...

**ls1bandit** · 01-24-2007, 12:29 PM

courts have made decisions on this before, it goes back, or he sues for it, the ring is like a contract, the contract was not full filled therefore it has to be returned.

**DrMilhouse** · 01-24-2007, 12:34 PM

It's my belief that it's her ring now. It's my opinion, but it's up to her to return it or not return it. It's kind of reasonable to expect that they might have some compassion for each other and in that, she may feel compelled to give it back so that he can get at least some of his $4k back.

Outside of her own compassion, I don't see any reason why she should give it back. If he wasn't committed to losing $4k to begin with, he shouldn't have asked her to marry him. $4k is a small price to pay for a failed marriage I think. A good attorney would cost twice that.

Maybe they can work out their differences and she might find that she can forgive him, and he can see that if drinking causes him to do stupid things, he shouldn't drink. That's a kinda easy simplistic way to look at things, but it can be managed. When I get drunk, I do dumb things and say things I'd never say to anyone sober, sometimes hurtfully honest things with no regard to how they might feel. Knowing that about myself, I either don't drink or I put someone in charge of me if I feel compelled to drink more than a beer or two. Sorry, that sounds maybe a little righteous or something, and I certainly don't mean it that way. He did what he did and now it's up to him what he does next time.

I did what I did too.

**Spaz** · 01-24-2007, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by DrMilhouse

It's my belief that it's her ring now. It's my opinion, but it's up to her to return it or not return it. It's kind of reasonable to expect that they might have some compassion for each other and in that, she may feel compelled to give it back so that he can get at least some of his $4k back.

Outside of her own compassion, I don't see any reason why she should give it back. If he wasn't committed to losing $4k to begin with, he shouldn't have asked her to marry him. $4k is a small price to pay for a failed marriage I think. A good attorney would cost twice that.

Maybe they can work out their differences and she might find that she can forgive him, and he can see that if drinking causes him to do stupid things, he shouldn't drink. That's a kinda easy simplistic way to look at things, but it can be managed. When I get drunk, I do dumb things and say things I'd never say to anyone sober, sometimes hurtfully honest things with no regard to how they might feel. Knowing that about myself, I either don't drink or I put someone in charge of me if I feel compelled to drink more than a beer or two. Sorry, that sounds maybe a little righteous or something, and I certainly don't mean it that way. He did what he did and now it's up to him what he does next time.

I did what I did too.

fuck it then... he should give her herpes then and call it even...

**SSwt00SS** · 01-24-2007, 01:05 PM

ideally the woman should give the ring back...

however, we are talking about women and how they feel everything revolves around them, and how selfish they are. want, want, want, more, more, more. irrational and illogical, i bet she keeps it in spite...

and a $4k ring, shit. no woman needs a rock that big. shit just goes to their head after that...

a true/real woman would show class, return the ring and move on w/her life...

however, if he can get back in the house to get his shit, you bet your ass he should swipe it back...lol tear that place up til he does...hahaha

**AKIRA** · 01-24-2007, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

ideally the woman should give the ring back...

however, we are talking about women and how they feel everything revolves around them, and how selfish they are. want, want, want, more, more, more. irrational and illogical, i bet she keeps it in spite...

and a $4k ring, shit. no woman needs a rock that big. shit just goes to their head after that...

a true/real woman would show class, return the ring and move on w/her life...

This experince has metamophisized her(sp?). I didnt add that theyre both 22-23. They dated for 2 years. And he does have the receipt.

This guy is the kind of guy that is your friend when hes single, but when hes not, he doesnt know how to pick up the phone. Same story most of us already know, but at his age, the fucker should enjoy the single life. Buuuuuut not with 4k of debt.

**tnthub** · 01-24-2007, 01:15 PM

In a perfect world the ring would represent the promise of a life together. Since that is not going to happen, the woman should not want the ring because of what it symbolizes.

However, in todays money grubbing society and especially for people who marry for the wrong reasons rather than the right ones, the traditions are as follows:

If the guy buys a ring for a girl and gives it to her, it is considered a gift and she should feel free to keep it if she wants.

If the guy gives the girl a family heirloom for a ring, the girl should always return the ring out of respect for the family if not her suitor.

Basically, the guy screwed up. However if the lady involved seems to think that keeping the ring is the right thing to do, then $4,000.00 now is a lot less expensive than a divorce with three kids a decade later. He should feel lucky if this is the worst of it.

**Comedian** · 01-24-2007, 01:18 PM

Take it back, I don’t know why he is even thinking about it..

***Ed Blown Vert*** · 01-24-2007, 01:18 PM

I think that the price you pay for cheating. But she is probably going to keep it just to piss him off.

**SSwt00SS** · 01-24-2007, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by AKIRA

This experince has metamophisized her(sp?). I didnt add that theyre both 22-23. They dated for 2 years. And he does have the receipt.

This guy is the kind of guy that is your friend when hes single, but when hes not, he doesnt know how to pick up the phone. Same story most of us already know, but at his age, the fucker should enjoy the single life. Buuuuuut not with 4k of debt.

shit, he should call the police and report it stolen, along with anything of his that still inside her house that he can't get...lol

**DrMilhouse** · 01-24-2007, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by AKIRA

This experince has metamophisized her(sp?).

no shit huh? of course it did. That's traumatic enough for a guy when a girl cheats on her. Girls have that x1000. Fortunately, she probably will calm down in a few days and they'll come to a reasonable agreement about the ring.

**RichB 99GTP** · 01-24-2007, 01:42 PM

Saw this on Judge Judy!!

She made the girl give back the ring. It was part of a contract and the contract was not fulfilled.

**MagicMan** · 01-24-2007, 01:47 PM

The guy, duh.

**ShelbySS** · 01-24-2007, 01:50 PM

When I was engaged and I walked away from the engagement I left the ring...After all I walked away. However he messed up. You play.....you pay. So I think it's fair that she keeps it.

**ShelbySS** · 01-24-2007, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

ideally the woman should give the ring back...

however, we are talking about women and how they feel everything revolves around them, and how selfish they are. want, want, want, more, more, more. irrational and illogical, i bet she keeps it in spite...

and a $4k ring, shit. no woman needs a rock that big. shit just goes to their head after that...

a true/real woman would show class, return the ring and move on w/her life...

however, if he can get back in the house to get his shit, you bet your ass he should swipe it back...lol tear that place up til he does...hahaha

Okay I would give the ring back if I messed up but why does it have to be "a true women" would give it back? F that...I dont agree. He played now he has to pay. I wouldnt want to keep the ring but I would certainly sell it or something...maybe melt it down into a necklace or something. ....

**SexOnWheels** · 01-24-2007, 02:01 PM

She should give it back.

Maybe in the case of cheating she will want to keep it but really Judge Judy is right...

**AKIRA** · 01-24-2007, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by ShelbySS

When I was engaged and I walked away from the engagement I left the ring...After all I walked away. However he messed up. You play.....you pay. So I think it's fair that she keeps it.

Lets say it was you and you kept it. What would you do with it?

SSwt, damn that is a good idea. She couldnt sell it either cuz its known as stolen! Selling stolen goods is another charge too. Ill pass on the idea.

**SSwt00SS** · 01-24-2007, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by ShelbySS

When I was engaged and I walked away from the engagement I left the ring...After all I walked away. However he messed up. You play.....you pay. So I think it's fair that she keeps it.

Originally Posted by ShelbySS

Okay I would give the ring back if I messed up but why does it have to be "a true women" would give it back? F that...I dont agree. He played now he has to pay. I wouldnt want to keep the ring but I would certainly sell it or something...maybe melt it down into a necklace or something. ....

just curious then, why did you give the ring back after he messed up, and not keep it or sell it for money?

your actions did one thing and yet your words say another...

**AKIRA** · 01-24-2007, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by ShelbySS

Okay I would give the ring back if I messed up but why does it have to be "a true women" would give it back? F that...I dont agree. He played now he has to pay. I wouldnt want to keep the ring but I would certainly sell it or something...maybe melt it down into a necklace or something. ....

Oh..you answered my question.

In responce to this quote, a true woman...eh, a true person wouldnt care about materialistic shit.

Keeping the ring seems to be an attack from the abused to the abuser.