Advice on Spousal Support Modification

**RiceEater** · 02-11-2010, 09:16 PM

LS1 family,

need your advice! My ex-wife filed for divorce in June '08. Long story short, we did a settlement agreement and I was on the losing end. I assumed over $100K in debt while she got all the furniture, lawyer fees paid, $600 a month spousal support, and a portion of my retirement.

Note: she is actively employee as a bank teller with a nail tech cert and some college.

I started paying $600 starting in Sep '08. I've paid on time, every month... painfully. A friend told me that she is 4 months pregnant and engaged. He also said I should check out her facebook as confirmation. It was confirmed... I sent her text messages "fishing" for info congratulating her. She quickly caught on I think and said she wasn't engaged. That she doesn't plan to get married. Then said she they broke up. I asked about the baby and she said she lost it last week. Low, right? She then asked why I cared all of a sudden. Immediately, she removed any evidence off of Facebook.

We got divorced in California and I've looked up the following: http://www.cadivorce.com/spousal-sup...er-factors.htm

Anyone have any advice how to approach this? I'm thinking about getting a consult and see how much it would cost me to go back to court. Plus, I am in Hawaii so the lawyer would have to act on my behalf. I think it would be hard to deny that her living conditions have changed if she shows up to court pregnant.

**Lqdsilver** · 02-11-2010, 11:40 PM

I'd try and get someone to stalk her down and see if she is prego, if confirmed then fkin go for it. What do ya have to lose besides $600 a month.

**allbaugh_04** · 02-12-2010, 04:38 AM

Considering what she has taken from you, it's worth a shot. Get someone to see if she is prego! Then go for it ASAP

**SiggyZ** · 02-12-2010, 06:38 AM

I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to say. But, I see these threads and think to myself. Why can't people just move on from one another peacefully and be done with it?

**SHines-IT** · 02-12-2010, 07:24 AM

Kill her...

Sory, I had to say it before IRock does.

**Sweet Chops** · 02-12-2010, 07:50 AM

So you have roughly gave her about $10,000? I think a hit man would have been cheaper. Plus you would have been able to collect the insurance money.

**0verkill** · 02-12-2010, 08:01 AM

keep your buddys on her till she is hiched and then hit the law and courts up and if it dosnt work have them hit her with the car.

**tnthub** · 02-12-2010, 08:46 AM

I'm no lawyer, but I suspect you should have saved the facebook pages and contacted an attorney instead of contacting her directly...

I would lay low, keep tabs on her doings, and if appropriate then seek legal remedy.

How in heck does a divorced person with a decent education and decent job become entitled to 600 per month, a hundred k of back debt, legal fees, and keep her standard of living?

Don't answer that... I'm just frigging amazed...

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 02-12-2010, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by tnthub

I'm no lawyer, but I suspect you should have saved the facebook pages and contacted an attorney instead of contacting her directly...

I would lay low, keep tabs on her doings, and if appropriate then seek legal remedy.

How in heck does a divorced person with a decent education and decent job become entitled to 600 per month, a hundred k of back debt, legal fees, and keep her standard of living?

Don't answer that... I'm just frigging amazed...

It's called california. Getting married is dumb but getting married here is financially suicidal...unless you have a twat.

OP i'd spy on her for you but it's not worth the drive

**67CamaroRSSS** · 02-12-2010, 11:20 AM

Note to self:

You've already been there twice and escaped (relatively) unharmed. Third times the charm. NEVER REMARRY!

Remember: If you're getting the milk for free then why buy the cow...

**knightryda01** · 02-12-2010, 12:24 PM

Pay me 500 a month and I'll knock her ass up... lol

I could be wrong, but I don't think alimony is affected by pregnacy. It would be by marriage. marriage certificates are a matter of public record. Get to crazy and she's get you for stalking or some shit.

**SHines-IT** · 02-12-2010, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by knightryda01

Pay me 500 a month and I'll knock her ass up... lol

Child Support can cost a damn penny, lol

**LimeNine** · 02-12-2010, 12:38 PM

$600 per month is cheap.

I was separated from my wife for almost 3 years, I was paying her
$600 per week
$2,400.00 per month.

bad times

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 02-12-2010, 12:39 PM

Shitty part is she'll probably stay engaged for years just to keep collecting support...buying booze and sex toys off your dime the whole time. Just be glad you're not the poor soul that knocked her up.

**Spaz** · 02-12-2010, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by SHines-IT

Child Support can cost a damn penny, lol

heh... i pay $213 a WEEK in child support... i was paying over $260 a week...

**Sassy Cassie** · 02-12-2010, 12:58 PM

Good grief! How long are you supposed to be paying her the $600 a month?

**gd1996** · 02-12-2010, 01:25 PM

No wonder women go after guys with money... divorce them and still get the guys money. Now I remember why I'm not married!

**RiceEater** · 02-12-2010, 05:01 PM

Thanks for the support and advice guys. It's a crazy situation to be in. I'm military and have been in nearly 16 1/2 years. I plan on retiring at 20. The biatch said she'd never go after my retirement, but she did and was awarded that as well as "community property," although she never served a day in her life. I'm her "retirement plan." It's not automatic though, she has to file for it... I'm hoping she forgets or it's to much work and she doesn't bother. It may be another thing I bring up to the lawyer to see if he can reverse the decision.

We were married for 11 1/2 years, so she was awarded alimony for half of the length of the marriage... so, I'm paying $600 month for 5 years. I'm about 1 1/2 in and fed up with it. I got stuck with the debt and Citi Bank is raping me on interest rates, so I'm not making much progress. I could use the extra $600 a month to help pay it off.

I agree, a hit man would have been a lot cheaper. I've been told that multiple times.

I was smart enough to take screen shots of her facebook page before she took everything down.

I know cohabitation is hard to prove, but if I can find evidence or she enters the court room pregnant, it will have to come out. She will be screwed if she lies to the court and is caught.

**02transamce** · 02-12-2010, 05:14 PM

dude,i feel for ya! seems like they (women) can do what the hell ever they please and get away with it. just be glad you don't have the 18 year payment plan(child support) plus what you already got.i would definately not contact her at all,just do what you can to keep up with what she is doing,by taking all her stuff off facebook she knows you are watching her and she will be extra careful not to get caught and lose her $600 a month. proceed with caution my friend. and good luck.