Womens needs!

[00ws6m6]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[ss~zoso~ss]

wow man, that was awesome, women sicken me often times, but i still wanna fuck em

MAD PROPS

[ss~zoso~ss]

you didnt buy her the shit did u ?

[bmyers]

it was a joke he didnt really do it

[shadegray]

Yeah, he just copy and pasted that story from somewhere else and didn't give credit, I read it like a year ago.

[ss~zoso~ss]

mother f'er, i though somebody actually told a woman to get fucked for once

[bmyers]

mother f'er, i though somebody actually told a woman to get fucked for once

i have, she laughed at me

[semicharmed]

wow! you are so c-l-e-v-e-r!!! I'll be dying to meet someone like you!

That's so hot!

[Speedy_Gonzales]

funny stuff taking it to work tomorrow lol

[00ws6m6]

Yeah, he just copy and pasted that story from somewhere else and didn't give credit, I read it like a year ago.

it a joke site without the authers name dude not trying to take credit. just for laughs lolololololololo get it

[ls1bandit]

welcome to 1998

[Secret Formula]

[Dax]

Ha ha- that is freaking awesome!

[Secret Formula]

yeah I found it on some ricer forum called "street scene" or somthing like that.

[Nastyfoot]

it was a joke he didnt really do it

Who gives a shit. It's still funny

[98-LS1]

Wish I could pull something like that on my useless woman, I haven't been laid in a few weeks. Back to the same old shit again, damnit I wish I could find a good woman out there somewhere.

[ls1blackbeauty98]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

lol holy shit that is the funniest thing ive ever heard.
no matter if its true or not, its still halarious haha

[SSwt00SS]

an oldie but a goodie....

[SexOnWheels]

an oldie but a goodie....

Yes agreed +1, you really fooled zoso though,

[00ws6m6]

wow man, that was awesome, women sicken me often times, but i still wanna fuck em

MAD PROPS

And heres the proof lolololololololol thats what makes this fun!!!!!!!!!